What's done is finished. Wave 2011 Good bye~

Here we are at the end of year 2-0-1-1. In 3 more days we are going to welcome the new year, new resolutions and of course, new hope!

This year has not always been easy, but it's fruitful. At the very end of this year, I feel much happier as I am released from that burden and 'heavy' feeling of having no other choices. With parents' blessing and support from family and friends, everything is much much easier. I just need to try a little bit more, and let go when the time comes.

Anyway, wrapping up each year, it's a must to list down things that had been done and those which hadn't been done yet.

Travellings

This year, I made 4 short trips to Indonesia: Jakarta, Bintan, Medan and Bali. Also, 1 Malaysia trip. Each of them was made for a purpose, Jakarta for the theme park (FUN), Bintan for hanging out with friends (LEISURE), Medan for Family (QUALITY TIME), Kuala Lumpur for shopping (RETAIL THERAPY) and last Bali for the love I have for this place (RELAXING). Mom and Dad are very busy this year, so there was no time to go for a trip with them. Next year, I have reserved something for them :)

Books

Books have always been in my list every year. I actually read a lot this year, let's see: the Millenium trilogy (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl who played with Fire, and The Girl who kicked the Hornets' nest), Snow Flower and The Secret Fan, The Secret of Life of Bees, Namesake, Sophaholic Abroad, The Lost Symbol, the Lucky One, I Don't Know How She Does It, Opening the Door of Your Heart and rereading a few other my-all-time-favorite books :)

Toastmaster

I am a member of YMCA Toastmaster now. I enjoy the meeting :) I have done 4 projects so far and had been appointed and volunteered as Seargant at Arm, Timer, Table Topic Master, Table Topic Speaker, and Toastmaster of the Evening. The meeting has always been relaxing and fun, even after a tiring and stressful day at work.

The Run

I completed 2 runs this year; Great Eastern and Shape Run. However, I may not want to run anymore in the future, as it seems my legs are not meant for that. Anyway, will see... when it's for a good cause, I may want to run again :)

Application of Permanent Resident Status

I have finally submitted the application in end of September. It will take time to approve, but at least I have put in a lot of effort, just hoping for the best.

Year End Present for Myself
I make it a habit that at the end of the year, for all the effort and hardwork that I had put in, I will buy myself a present: 2 years ago was a notebook, a year ago was an iPhone, now it's a Camera, Canon G12. Satisfied =p~

Other Happy Things

I would like to welcome my nephew, Sean, again. Am also very proud of my older niece as she is now in Primary School, and younger one who has always been so cheerful and never failed to shed some happiness to her parents, grandparents and others around her. I am a proud aunt :)

Things that I have planned but didn't do:

1) Guitar Course. I am in dillemma to decide whether to reserve my time for this or for personal time and rest? still... I have no solutions for this yet~

2) Preparation for further study (I have new plan in mind now... I will not depend too much on others in this matter anymore. I determine what I would like to do and how to do it!)

3) Be Healthy. It's really not so much on what I eat, really! It's the environment that trigger that acidic fluid in my stomach. (In the future, I know what to do =D)

There is no regret in this, as what's done and not done are finished. I have faith that today is good enough and tomorrow will be better.

Have a Blessed, Healthy, and Happy New Year 2012!

Angry People

The worst MRT breakdown after 24 years? People are frustated because they need to use alternative transportation to get to their destination, and it may not be more convenient.

I was reading the news and other than worrying about the well being on the passangers who are trapped underground, some people are making noises about REFUND and FREE RIDE.

OMG... if money what you look after just say it. Do not have to make a long explanation about how incompetent the CEO is, how SMRT should be sorry, bla bla bla...

When things are going well, no compliment given, assuming that it's something that you deserve. When things go wrong, again it's all about YOU YOU and YOU, and all else is wrong.

Principles

Finally... I exploded!

First of all, I am not proud that I can't always control my tears whenever I am angry, very very angry. But this time, I am glad that I have let it out. It feels tonnes lighter. Yeah, I admint that tears have never solved any problems, but they have saved my life. Never ever tell someone not to cry. You are killing them! If they are strong enough, without YOU telling them not to cry, they would never cry. However, if someone in need to steam off , crying is one of the ways. Some others may have their own way to steam off, such as: scolding others, throwing things, hurting themselves (or others), so on and so forth.

Try reading this article: the crying game. For myself, if I do not let myself to express and let out my emotions, I will probably be lying dead by now.

I have my principle in life! I may be young, but I know what's important TO ME to live in this world. Money is important, but it's even more important to live in harmony with others. I am not the type that will start a fight, but I will continue to fight if it's for justice.

Today, I would like to conclude a few points that I should remember for the rest of my life:

1. Tears may not be the most elegant way to solve things, but the fact that it helps to relieve burdens in life is important. You should unload the big block of rocks, before you can move on in life, with lighter shoulder and without grudge!

2. Come clean if you make mistake, at the same time never repeat it!

3. At the same time, when others make mistake, give them a chance to explain before you do your judging. Never let someone take the blame for mistakes made by others. It's not about pointing finger, but it's about justice and integrity.

4. Lead by sample! Walk the talk and NOT talk the walk.

5. Turn to family when you are in need. They will always open their door for you.

6. I am not ashamed to admit that I learn more useful and valuable things in life from my dog (for its loyalty), from the unfortunate people (for gratitude shown to the smallest things in life), and many others that may not necessary have the chance for higher education like many of us do nowadays (like my parents).

7. NEVER ever say that you understand others, because no one does! We will never know what others have been through! If you want to help, be true and kinder.

8. Stands up for what you think is right! However, it does not give you the right to hurt others! You live once, thus don't be nasty, be compassionate!

Quite a list, huh?

I wish I can let go...

I am exhausted!

Gosh... I think I had been working NON-STOP intensively from 9am - 6pm for almost a week. Not even a chance to get some fresh air during lunch time. I am so frustated! =(

I have been back to Singapore for a month and again I have been gulping down pills almost every day! I can taste it in my throat how sour the liquid on my tummy is. For the past week, I have not been sleeping well... My head hurts... Yeah... clinically, I may have been right to see a psychiatrist, as mentally I really need help. Sad truth...

I hate myself for wanting too much, not be able to let go and are not born strong enough. I am so tired~ :'(

I wish that there is a way out~

Discrimination: Name that killed

Did you read the news about an Indian boy from a lower caste killed for sharing the same name as a youngster from a higher caste? If it's true, It's really absurb!!!

Why should the boy change his name just because it's the same name as the other youngster? Is he afraid that people will mistaken the two of them? "Oh... Neeraj (the victim) had done something bad", then another Neeraj (the suspect) would feel that he is being accused? Goodness... What are they thinking? If they are form higher caste, they should be more educated. They should be able to tell what's really matter and what not... But apparantely they not always are...

What is a meaning of a name if you do not behave yourself properly? For example, your name is "Glory", but you act like an asshole, guess what, people will identify you as "That Glorious Asshole." Or if you have a name of a president, but you act like a criminal, it does not earn you the respect that the president may have.

Gosh~ I am really upset after reading the news =(

Being Competitive

Now I know why that despite the busy working life I am living now, I feel that there is something missing. I realize I am a person who is always in search of something new to challange myself. In short, I am competitive.

I like it when there is score to everything we do (I also realize there are things that we are unable to measure). The sole reason is so that I know whether I have done very well and can move on or I should try harder to make things better. What does good or bad mean? It's relative, it's subjective. People may say I have done a good job, as long as I do not satisfy with it, it's really nothing. On the other hand, when people do not appreciate what I do, I want to know if they can have done better. If they don't, just shut up!

All the while, during our school time, we had always received our report to say how we rank in the class or compare to students in the same batch. After receiving the report, I only felt 2 things:

- Great! I have done my best and I deserve this... NO matter what the result is

- Good... I have done my best and I know I can do better than this next time... and I work on it...

That makes me miss school badly~

Be More Human

My childhood, my savior, my everything

I had been absent for sometime from my blog. I have a lot going on but nothing to write or I don't make the effort to find time to pen them down....

Just back from the trip home, frankly speaking, instead of relaxing, it's a bit tiring. Why?

1) I don't have a proper place to sleep when I am in Medan (My parents' now house is in renovation... and I will have my very own room in my very own house for the first time. Don't ask!)

2) I had so many aunties and uncles whom I need to visit. Half of my time are spent with them I think...

3) Travelling by train is really NO FUN! I spent a total of 10 hours in my trip, Medan-Kisaran-Medan

4) When I am home, there were 2 days of blackout! Indonesia may be one of the most environmental friendly country. We celebrate earth hours more often thatn anyone else... With no electricity, it was darn Hot that I need to fan myself to sleep.

5) Last saddest thing is that My niece was not feeling well... Poor girl...

Anyway, I am glad that I spent my week this year absolutely doing nothing important (BUT very important that I was doing it).

1) More or less, I had been influenced by the lifestyle in Singapore, where everyone is very competitive and where everything is so systematic. We rely more to machines than the human who operates it, because we know human make mistake and we can't afford mistake. I would like to say that I was tested in my few days there. I realize I am so selfish. I saw my mom started small talk with strangers on the train, I was worried that they will get irritated by this total stranger, but at the end my mom got a positive response from them. I learnt that it's how human to human interaction should be. In Singapore, we all listen to our own music, busy checking our phone, reading and sleep when we are on the train. We do not know our neighbors, we basically do not interact if we do not have to. Gosh~

2) ALL my uncles, aunties, grandma and cousins treated me SUPER well. Without me asking, they bought me food that I love, they prepare the homecook meals that I could not find in Singapore, they tried very very hard to fulfill my wishes. I LOVE YOU ALL.

3) This is my first time 'meeting' my nephew, Sean Richie Wong. He is just adorable. He stays so calm despite her naughty sister who keeps on bullying him. I thought it's affection more than anything else. Hang on there, young boy! Make your mommy proud of you~

4) Most importantly, I am glad that I spent more time at home ('more' as in more than 7 days a year, like I had always done). Nothing has changed at home, except that I can feel that mom and dad are not young anymore. I want to do more things that will make them proud, proud and proud. Of course, when we say home, Joy, my little doggy counts! She did not bark at me at all.. Good girl~

5) You know what... this trip I found the absolute reason for my health problem. I admit that I am stressed living in Singapore. I could not single out a reason, it could it be the working pressure, the uneasy feeling, the nervousness that I had always had here because I need to make sure everything goes right (again, because I can't afford mistake), I don't know... I was so healthy back home. The moment that I was on the plane, I didn't feel that sourness in my tummy, and I feel refreshed. I can sleep even when I drank tea at night. WHY?

All in all, the trip was tiring, but it's a reminder for me to be more Human. I am glad that I made the trip home~

When you can't do anything

Phone and Toothbrush?

Have you ever thought how a toothbrush can work with a phone? An uncle in a bus showed me how...

I was wondering why the uncle was holding a green toothbrush in his hand, no sign that he was going to use it to brush his teeth. He was practically holding it like a pen. I kept on watching him and found out why. He was using the end of the toothbrush to write!

His phone is a touchscreen phone (older version... do you call it touch screen?),where you can write and it will detect the character and show the closest match to the input received. He was writing chinese character and every stroke come down so hard, I can see the middle of the screen are all scratch! Still... I found it interesting...

People nowadays can't live without technology. It's not about not keeping up to date to the news outside, we just afraid that people are going to forget about us if we doesn't show we exist (update facebook status, twitting, texting, etc).

What to do in Singapore?

After being a tour guide last week, here are my personal recommendation on what to do and not to do during your visit in Singapore (especially if it's a short stay)

1. Hippo & Duck Tour (3.5*)
This tour takes you around the City, then straight down to the water, from Kallang river to Singapore river. First there is nothing to see in Kallang river of course, except people who are doing water sports. Then once you enter the Singapore river area, you get to see most of the attraction areas in Singapore, such as: Singapore Flyer, Marina Bay Sands, Merlion, Helix Bridge, Art Museum, and the ongoing project of City in the Garden (?).

If you have a good camera, best timing to go maybe around 6p.m. or 7p.m., when the lights on the buildings are up! Anyway, 5p.m. is not a bad timing as well, as the weather is already friendlier by then.

However, you are required to sit still on the boat. So just be patient, as the route is made so that passengers at both side got to see everything clearly (if not during the first half trip, then it may be on the way back to the land tour).

2. Universal Studio Singapore (5*)
It is a MUST go! Of course if possible, go during the weekdays. WHY?

1. Ticket is cheaper. With master card you enjoy 20% off! Imagine 10a.m. - 7p.m. spent in the fantasy world and only spending about $53 for the ticket, best deal ever!!!
2. Queue is much shorter!!!

Pray that the weather is good! Better hot than rain!

3. Singapore Flyer (2.5*)
Aha... this one... interestingly, is a waste of money... Sad to say... Why?
1. The point of getting this ride is to see the Singapore view from the high point. However, the view is blocked by the structure of the wheel. :(
2. You pay about $30 to get to half-an hour ride, the best view that you can get will pass in about 5 minutes.

Other Recommendation: If one would like to see Singapore view with 'unlimited' time, no steel blocking the view, and companion of music and a glass of liquor, and of course half the price, try One Altitude. The only thing, you may need to stand the whole time, as seats are limited in this open space concept bar.

4. Esplanade and Marina bay Sands (3.5%)

Taking picture in this area is a must for tourists! and of course, the $1 ice cream for hot day. From here, the view of the "Durian Skin" structure, the business disctric in Singapore, Marina Bay Sands, Fullerton are crystal clear! Lastly, you also got to meet the younger and youngest Merlion.

There are more places which are worth a visit in Singapore... Although, the country has been promoting itself as Food Paradise, in my personal opinion, the food here is not as unique. Most of the so called local food is similar to the food from other places. Anyway, for those who does not have time to visit every place in the world, in Singapore, you get the taste (orinigal or not) of food from all around the world, from Indonesia, Thailand, Indian, Western, Mediteranian and more...

Basic Needs

Oh yeah... I just want to revise the thing I have learnt during my secondary school. It's about the basic needs, what we know as physiological needs. These are the needs that should be met before chasing to fulfill other higher level 'good-to-have-things" in life, as elaborated in the Maslow's Hierarchy of needs.

It had been more than a month since I had trouble sleeping, soundly. Normally, I did not wake up in the middle of the night, no matter what happen,'til my alarm woke me up. However, for the past month, I will wake up around 5a.m. or 6a.m., and can't go back to sleep anymore.

Then... last week, it reached the climax! I had only 2 hours sleep in 2 days. We, human, need 6 - 8 hours of sleep daily, and can you imagine if you only have 2 hours for 2 days? BAD!!! It is no longer like school/college time, where you can skip a class and no one will chase you. (of course, if you do it too often, you might not be able to sit for your exam... blah~)

Let me remind you some facts, about human's basic needs!

1. We need to go toilet regularly, either for the "big" one or the "small" one. The business just needs to be settled!

2. We need to sleep to recharge... We have our phone, notebook and other gadgets charged to enable them working properly. How could you expect human to function well if we are not fully charged?

3. We need to Eat! Believe me that there is only odd no of people who can survive without food. If people can survive with no food, we won't need the words like "hunger" and "famine". Religiously, Buddha does not recommend the extreme way by starving yourself to get enlightment. You have not been blessed by a goddes who had blessed the Indian man who made to the headline news for staying alive and healthy food for the past 70 years.

All in all... without fulfillng the above 3 things, we are just incomplete, and cannot be happy inside out! At least, it applies for myself! So be grateful if you got to eat, you go toilet regularly and able to sleep well. Happiness will just follow~

What's more important?

On the way back, there was ticket-check on the bus. Then there was this uncle beside me with so many shopping bags, he was asleep (too tired I guess)... Then the bus ticket checker (BTC), or whatever you call him, waked him up. The passenger uncle was digging through his right hand-side pocket to find his tiny small receipt printout for the bus fare that he had paid. So... case's closed, for now...

10 minutes after that... BTC came to the uncle again...

BTC: "Uncle... why you haven't alight? You only paid $1, you have passed 2 bus stops already. "

Everyone in the bus was looking, if not listening...

Uncle: "MacPherson Right?"
BTC: "You only pay for $1... Macpershon should be $1.2"
Uncle: "$1 meh?" Digging up the receipt again... Found it... "It's $1.20" ... passed the receipt to BTC. BTC saw the the receipt...
BTC: "Owww... Sorry about that"

First of all, BTC should do a better job, making sure that his vision is not blinded with whatever assumption he had about this uncle even before checking on the uncle's receipt. I believe he had the impression that this uncle may have cheated by paying less fare, because this uncle had 'pretended' to be asleep when BTC approached him and of course from the way he dresses. Thus, he kept an eye on the uncle.

Long long time ago, there was another lady, a very decent looking lady, she paid lesser fare than what she supposed to pay. The BTC (different person that time) did the checked after the lady had passed the stop that she paid for... The lady was making excuses saying that "she thought it's only $x insttead of $x.y. It's quite embarrasing scene I thought, being scolded because of $0.y...

Things I have learnt from the two scenes above:
1. Appearance is important to 'impress' others
2. Yet... appearance may sometimes deceive our eyes
3. At the end... what counts most is integrity... doing the right thing even no one is looking...

The not-so-decent looking uncle had win, while the young decent looking lady had lost...

Time to Act!

I am upset and glad at the same time.

Upset with the fact that I know that I can do more in so many things, instead I wasted my time for nothing good. I just did my first table topic (after 3 prepared speeches) and realize I am no good at thinking on my feet and organizing my thought in a beautiful flow... All these can be improved with more practice, which I have not been doing.

Glad that I discover it now than later...

Time to act! Do more... So that I won't regret later...

I just want...

Life should be lived to the fullest! No one know what would happen tomorrow.

Lately, there are so many bad news...

My deepest condolences to my friend and his family who lost his 2 brothers in a tragic accident!

My prayer to another friend of us, whose mom requires a major surgery. Hope she makes through it and recover fast!

Also... wish my sister strength! She is in joy welcoming a new family member in her life, but she seemed to be at the lowest point of her life. Whatever it is, time heals everything for me, I hope it will too for you.

I just want everyone to live happily with less worry...

Healthy Baby Boy

Yeah... I was looking for topic to write, to be remembered, and here it is...

Welcome my nephew to this new world, that may be cruel sometimes, but he should know that we, all his family, most of all his mom, love him ...:)

He was born on Aug 23, 2011 (Lunar Calendar: 7th Month 24th Day)

Can't wait to hold you in my arms when November comes.

P.S. His parents are struggling to decide a 'good' name for him. =.='

Looking Forward

A might-useful-tip for you :)

We all may have heard about the saying: the past is history, the future is mystery and today is a gift, that's why we call it present.

However, there are times when we just want the present to pass, as it is not as what we have desired... something that may be of help is to look forward. Not too far... we have to take a small step at a time to prevent us from falling down, don't we? Scientifically speaking, it is more measurable.

Looking forward give you hope! Hope give you strength! Strength keep you moving! Moving keep you ALIVE!

I am looking forward to:
September: For the Voyage de Lavie show
October: For good friends' visit
November: It's HOME!
December: It's Festive season... of course Loads and loads of HOLIDAY!

You can see I am pretty much alive now compare to the beginning of this year. Most importantly, I hope to settle something before the year ends, no matter what the outcome will be... Again, don't look too far that you forget to enjoy the current!

The Wise One

I was reading the Fifth Harry Potter, AGAIN (never bored)... And I always admire the character of the headmaster, Professor Albus Dumbledore.

He is a wise old man that may be very difficult to be found in this real life. He speaks, shows up, acts ONLY when it is needed.

In one of the chapter, when the new term starts, he supposed to give a speech, welcoming the newbees and the old hands, as always before the dinner started. However, a simple realization that his students is hungry, and he only said "... now tuck in," is a gesture that much appreciated by all. This what made him Loved!

He is wise enough to see the good in people, appreciates those who might not have the brightest brain, but the good soul they have always had, e.g. Sybill Trelawney (Prof of Divinitation) and Neville Longbottom. He knows who have always stood by his side and fought for the same goals all along and show his appreciation to them (most of the time by believing in them and lead them to the right way, when they are lost.)

I, myself believe that we all might make a 'good' life with good brain, but it will never guarantee the quality of your life, won't it? Especially if you are acting like a proud a**hole with that brain of yours. Yeah, straight down to hell. Excuse me (ehmm ehmm)...

What's the point of this post? Nothing! I just want to jot this down, so that one day, I can come back here and being reminded how I hate those people who are the exact opposite of Prof Dumbledore, and I shouldn't be one! *Fingercrossed

Serving People

Do you ever read or listen the story below?

Two of God' closest disciples were sisters named Martha and Mary. On one occasion, when God came to visit their household, the two sisters responded in very different ways. Martha, who was hard-working and conscientious, went to a lot of trouble and effort to make sure the house was in order. Meanwhile, Mary did nothing but sit at God's feet and listen as he spoke. When Martha complained about her sisters laziness, she was surprised to hear God defend Marys wise decision. Mary had chosen to focus on what was necessary her relationship with God, through God rather than what was merely useful.

You know what I am not in favor for this.

I hate when people say "I put God first than anything" - no matter who your God is.

Do we realize how many people are hurt and souls taken because people put their God first than their fellow human? How Al-Qaeda fight to change people to believe in Muslim, his God. How different races in Indonesia fight against each other, because 'your God and my God is different'? - so the God of the winning side rules! Bullshit!

Do you know there are great people in this world, who have extreme faith in God and still doing the right thing, with the believe serving people you love, people around you, people in need, and and that's how they serve their God.

Have you ever thought how mother Theresa serves his God? She served people who are in need. How about Mahatma Gandhi? Same, he served his people. How people who fight for the independence of his country are called Heroes? Because they are seving their nations, their people.

It was too egoist to sit in God's house and listening to sermons, thinking that you are doing something right. Just like the stories above, by arranging the house to be in order, Martha might have done his God a great favor. There might be more people will come in to the house (or God House), and His words will be heard by many more than only the two sisters.

My point is don't be too fanatic in whatever you are believe in. Too much is not always good!

The Past 6 Months...

Yeah... It's July! Half of the year has passed, the question is "What have I achieved?"

I am currently reading a book from Ajahn Brahm, "Opening the door of your heart". I like the short stories inside. It's not because I am a religious person, but the stories are so close to our life. I believe in Buddhism, because the teaching is so logical. To paraphrase it "What goes around comes around". Yeah! You may not believe in how Karma works, but I believe you do not have to a Buddhist to believe in the phrase.

Back to the topic, one of the phrases I love is "What's done is finished." Yeah... We will never finish our work, but what's done is finished.

I remember one of my lecturers said that I have the rest of my life working, so do not be too desperate to get a job (that time I was a few months to the end of my college years, and I was busy planning to get a job). I admit it... I am now longing for a break all the time!

Anyway, when I was grieving, my life did not stop, I still need to go on, with tears, with dissapointment, and helplessness. Finally, all passed! Now continuing living this life... Let see what I have been doing for the past 6 months.

:

:

:

Mmmmm... Apparently, not that many:

1. Mission to be healthy? Not so healthy after all. But the last 2 weeks, I survived with a few days off the drugs (... my gastric and headache pills)

2. Toastmaster? Aha... This one is fun! I enjoy attending the meeting. The atmosphere is just positive. Although, sometimes I get nervous when it's my turn to speak ;( Anyway, practice makes perfect!

3. Reading? Been off for quite sometimes. The only reasons... too busy... too tired... But am back to reading now. Warming up and once the 'engine' is hot, then hope that I am not straining my eyes. Just like how difficult to start something, it's also difficult to stop.

Yeah... Boringgggg~ I am waiting for end of the year.... Going to spend more time with family :) I have another half of the year to make up for everything I have lost during the past six months.

I wanna 'restart' this year fresh~

Run for Dad

This morning, I just finished my second 5km run. Frankly speaking, I was nervous about the run. I had not been practising as I was supposed to. Anyway, I still went for it, with light head (not enough sleep) and unprepared physic. The only thing I know, I should finish the run no matter what. Today is dad's birthday, so I am going to do it for him. :)

Anyway, nothing's fantastic. I finished it in an hour =( can be better? Of course, first if I trained myself and second if the route is better (this morning, it was so jammed that we practically need to stop and 'queue' to pass the small passage)

It was tiring, and I am still tired now, but it was good!

Next run on July 24, I must do better! Most importantly, I should be more prepared for it!

P.S. Happy Birthday Dad! I talked to him over the phone. Can tell that he is happy, especially when he told me that my niece sang for him happy birthday song and say "我喜欢公公". =D We all love you, Dad =)

Standing up for yourself!

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim."

It's about standing up for yourself and who are in need!

I am proud to say that I do what's need to be done and I HATE to be told what to do. Talk less and ask from me less, I will do more and give more!

P.S. S-t-r-e-s-s-e-d! For whatever I have gained, I've paid with my health. This year, in 171 days that had passed, I have never been healthy in a week straight. I either woke up with the damn gastric, the headache, or the diarhea. This place cannot be kinder and I can only stand still 'til the very end!

The Ugly Truth

Read the news about how an elderly woman has been mistreated at a nursing home in Singapore.

I don't how can people can do this? I know how working with elderly can be stressful, but if you know you have no patience, you should have just quit! Shameless, heartless, cruel people }=(

What If?

What if in this life you have all the support, but you still can't carry things out?
Do you live for others and keep fighting or be kind to your-selfish-self and give up?

What if in this life you have all the opportunities, but you are left only with your last breath?
Do you spend your last breath Grabbing the opportunities or be a loser and rest in peace?

What if people you love looks at you with the proud eyes, but you are paying with your tears during the days and nights?
Are you more prepared to lose those eyes or your own eyesight?

What if all people believe in you, but only you who don't?
Do you believe in others or you believe in yourself?

Brave Heart Ranger

"I'm not old enough to play baseball or football. I'm not eight yet. My mom told me when you start baseball, you aren't going to be able to run that fast because you had an operation. I told Mom I wouldn't need to run that fast. When I play baseball, I'll just hit them out of the park. Then I'll be able to walk."

- Edward J. McGrath, Jr., "An Exceptional View of Life" quoted in Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen, 1993

Worried and Lost

The truth is:
I am like a flying kite with almost broken string

Am walking the right path, but not walking it right
Many opportunities that I am not exactly grabbing it tight
Many simple things that I am not doing it right
Gosh~ I wish I could tell myself, that everything will be alright.

I am too worried, and lost too~

Doomsday?

It was believed that 2 days ago, May 21, 2011 was the end of the world, the judgement day. Harold Camping spent $100millions to advertise his prediction.

Doesn't he have something better to do? Now, he predicted that he was off by 5 months, so Oct 21 will be the new date of doomsday. We all will die and some of us will be saved, while others left stranded as they are not worth-saving! Ha-Ha

Believe it or not, nothing last! But... there are better ways in living the rest of our life, with all the resources that we have, aren't there?

With $100millions, how many eye sight that you could possibly restored? How many children that you could have sent to school? How many life that you could have possibly saved? How many good causes that you could have possibly supported?

It's just like the importance of appreaciating what we have now than keep dreaming on what we could have had.

Blessed Vesak

In this holy day, do you wanna see something blessed and beautiful?

It's a photo album in an acquaintance's facebook page. The photos are nicely captured. I can really feel them! Calming and simply Beautiful~

Have a blessed Vesak Day, Everyone~

His coffee shop (Nothing like Starbucks!)

We have already being asked this classic questions since we are really young. Starting when we are 5, maybe?

We are all tought to dream big, if we wanna make it big! To be under the spotlight, to be recognized for something we have done, best is if it's done for others.

There are some who just have simple dreams, especially when someone grow older, whether or not they have achived something in life, there is a stage in our life, I believe, we just wish for a rockingchair in our front porch, a colorful small garden in our backyard! Those huge house does not matter anymore, because there will be time when we are too old to climb up the stairs.

I know someone like that, who has had hardly talked about his big dreams, to make difference in people life! He just wants to make peace with people around him, no fancy life, and he only wishes for a coffee shop of his own.

When someone mention about opening a coffee shop, we, young people, might still think about how about making it big! Learn from Starbucks, the coffee legend! For him, it's nothing like that. It's all just about keeping his life busy with something that he loves.

I thought he is so blessed!

9 Ways to Contentment

Share with you something beautiful - take your time to go through each point and make a checklist :)

Health enough to make work a pleasure

Wealth enough to support your needs

Strength enough to battle difficulties and overcome them

Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them

Patience enough to toil until some goods are accomplished

Charity enough to see some goods in your neighbor

Love enough to move you to be useful to others

Faith enough to make real things of God

Hope enough to remove anxious fears concerning future

- Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe -

Second Life

I think this is when someone would say "I've found my life back". This is the story of a man who has a full face transplant.

I have seen a patient who has similar case, less extreme of course. It was not only patient's life that has been changed, but his family too! We, human, might have no power to reverse time to avoid bad accident or illness that ruins life, but when we are given the second chance to live this life, there is an extreme gratefulness to the creators and other humankind who have helped us through during the difficult time. All the little kindness counts!

The Dangerous Man of One Book!

Osama is dead! Yeah... that was the breaking news when I was in the Soekarno-Hatta airport, Jakarta, on my way back to Singapore last week.

Many people are celebrating! Some still take the news with caution, fearing cruel plots that might come after. Some hackers, using this opportunity to spread "Osama viruses", and I am stupid enough to open the link (Now, I can't be sure that my notebook is clean anymore.)

Anyway, back to the Osama, whether or not he is dead, no matter how holy his mission is, he is just freaking physco!!!

People have the right to believe in whatever make sense to them, like his belief in the mission of Al-Qaeda, others have the right to believe in Jesus, in Buddha, in Ganesha, or in nothing! Why should he try so hard? Sacrificing the innocents, the world's peace - that's unforgivable!

That's his mission? One world under One belief? Even if you can make people to believe in one thing, what then? Leave in peace? Yeah... in another millions years. Like teacher can teach the students one exact formula, but it never hinders the creative ones to use the formula differently.

Homo unius libri - Beware of a man of one book! Especially the one with the wrong book, disastrous belief, and the idea that of little depth.

I watched United 93, those who executed the order had family they love, if there is no this silly mission, they might still live in peace, and not pieces! But for whatever strong reason, even when they were in fear for their own death, they still carried out the order, suicide bombing! Sad and godforsaken!

Guns don't kill people, People do!

The Guardian

...

Could you lay your life down, so strangers can live?

Can you take what you need but take less than you give?

Could you close every day without the glory and fame?

Could you hold your head high when no one knows your name?

Can you lose everything you ever had planned?

Can you sit down again and play another hand?

Could you risk everything for the chance of being alone?
...

- Brian Adams - Never Let Go -

P.S. If I mentioned this before, I just want to say it again - The Guardian is a MUST watch movie~ Yeah... I always feel the need for me to save the world! Haha... So when I can't save it myself, I am supporting and feeling proud for those who are doing the mission that is impossible for me!

Randomly Happy~

Yohooo~ despite the uncomfortable stomach, I am in a very high spirit!

After all the stressful situation in the early of this year, I am so glad for the Bintan's quiet trip, for the Jakarta super short and fun trip! Today~ It was so good to rest at home, whole day!!! *finishing chores that have been abandoned, clean room, clean mind.

IF every other month, we are all given time off like this, we will be more happy, more fulfilled, more content, more balanced, look younger (*o*), and live longer!

Uhh~ I am just so high up now! It won't last (Nothing last) but I just wanna live the moment.

Since, I am so happy now, I want myself to always remember that I have 2 things that never fail to make me smile (at least so far, to date):
- My niece
- My Doggy (...the one that is (was) alive and breathing)

Someone wise said, when you are feeling unhappy think of something/someone that make you happy, fill yourselves with love, and you will feel better~ It's not me saying it, it's someone wise, which I could not remember. So you better take this seriously =D

Here ends my random and happy thought~

Faith in Family and True Friends

I do not envy those with many acquaintances. The relationship is just too loose. They slip away when you are falling.

I envy those with a few or even only one close friend. The relationship is stronger. They back you up when you are falling.

I envy even more those close to their family. The relationship sticks! They let you fall, they feel the pain, they go through it with you, they prepare you so that you are stronger even when they are not close by your side.

Double-edged Sword

Internet can make someone a star overnight, but there are times when it goes unhealthy and causes harm than good.

I was browsing through internet, and watching parody video on nighahiga channel. The latest was on Rebecca Black's song, Friday. People are saying that the song was ridiculuos - the lyrics, the voice, the whole video clip. Some posted hatred comments, asking her to just die. Gosh...

Another video is on the bully in school in Australia. Casey and Richard. In the video, Richard was seen to bully and pick up a fight with Casey. It has been going on for 3 years, and when everything piles up, Casey then brutally smacked Richard down. The video goes to youtube, and Casey gets the support, while Richard is hated as if he is Gadaffi, hated by the world.

I am not saying that Richard is right, BUT.. come on... they are kids. Right, that they need to learn their lesson, but WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE? Posting your harsh and hatred comments. In the long run, it will never be helpful, not to Casey nor Richard.

Internet provides information. Information is Power. Power is double-edged sword - use it right and it will do you good and vice versa.

Dreams

"Dream big and you will have big problem

Dream small and you will have small problem

Do not have a dream, and you will have no problem"

We all have the right to choose :)

Happy Birthday, Mom...

Last year, around this time (lunar calendar: the exact same day), My family and I were in Bali. I was diving, and later at night, we were going to have dinner in Jimbaran beach side.

That was all planned for Mom's birthday =D

Another year, she and dad are celebrating it at home, my sis in Medan and Me, here, in Singapore.

No matter how far we are.. Happy Birthday, Mom :)

Love you~

Linda

Gratitude

"Thank you for all your kindness all this while. "

That's one of the line in the message. Gosh... It made my day!

It reminds me of a saying:

"In this life, it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that make us happy"

I am grateful that I have been provided with the opportunity to help.

I am grateful that I have the ability to help.

I am grateful that there is still gratefulness in human kind.

I am most grateful to know that in someone's opinion there is still kindness in me.

2 Years of Good Job

Today is exactly my 2 years with the current company. Here I am at home on Medical Leave. Aiyooo....

Anyway, it's 2 years of doing good job, which I know there are always rooms for improvement. But still so far I deserve a pat on my back.


Some dates just stick forever I think. Because they have meanings. The day when I started my first day with real job, I cannot remember what I expect. With time, I sort out my life back, life with goals...

What's wrong with March?

Gosh! This month is not really a good one for me. Let see...

Losing swimsuit in a cab, which never made its way back to me. How can I? Because I was feeling crappy on that day, and my little brain, like pooh-bear's, cannot think of anything else...

The crappy feeling took my two weeks away. Yeah, that's making me losing half of a month joy.

Then... I woke up one Sunday morning with fever! Gosh.... I know that I am feeling tired, low-energy, but fever??? 'Wo'-man~ It has never crossed my mind. The next thing I know, I spent two whole day sleeping, and not getting better.

When I saw doctors, they only have one advice for me. What's that? "Don't get too stressed". Last time, I can easily say that I am not stressed over work. Long hour work does not mean stressed, no? Now, since every doctor tries to convince me that I am down because of stress, I am not sure if I am not stressed.

Best of all~ I thought I am facing so called relationship problem. Not man-woman kind of relationship, but it's more like you-you-me-me kind of thing. Ah~ I can never understand why I cannot satisfy all people, when I know that I do not have to, but I am trying to, at the end the same result still I am not able to. It's mouthful.

I can only say I should treasure those friends that I have fought with and talked it out and befriended again. Yeah... I know friends that I hang out a lot with, but unable to straight things out. So I just leave it 'curly and crumpled'. Learn and move on with my life, with all cautious act whenever dealing with them. Difficult life? Oh yes, it is... Thus, resolution of the months to come is "Be Kinder to Myself".

I just hope March can end faster, which I do not know I feel that it will solve my problem. You know... time heals me~ And to think it out of the box, out of Singapore, Japan has more serious problem than me, and they are hanging on, why can't I?

This post is easy... No thinking and everything is just sort of blurt out... So don't confuse if you cannot get the meaning of some phrases or words, and wondering why the hack that word appears there, etc. Just move on... don't have too take it too seriously. :D

Eh? Why am I feeling a curve up at both ends of my lips? Feeling better~

Prayer for Japan

Let us pray for Japan!

Give them the Strength in difficult time

Give them Hope so they can see light, a Better tomorrow

Give them Love, so that they can continue to Live on

*For People whose area are affected by the Earthquake, Tsunami and the Leaking Nuclear Plant - March 2011

Cooling down~

I realize I had posted a harsh post! Phew... Life is hard on me lately or it's me who is hard on myself. I am no strong lady and as weak as jelly~

I know myself, when I am angry, I am going to blurt everything out or it's just shown on my face! But... give me time and I will heal!

ALL of us, need a time out from time to time! Why some people could not understand this?

We need it when things are not going so well in life! We need to stop and reflect!

We need it when we are angry! We keep ourselves away, so that we do not hurt others even more~

We need it when we feel exhaused! It's about balance!

Nothing lasts! Happiness don't last. Sadness and Anger won't last either!


Crappy Feeling that is Slightly Better~

PLEASE NOTE!

I do not have to say anything from now on...

You can stop pretending, because you will always be the 'goodie-goodie' for everyone, while I am starting to act like a bitch!

Professor of Life!

I was walking back after doing my groceries shopping yesterday. Ikea truck passed by, a tagline is saying "You don't have to be rich to be clever", I was digesting it, and before coming to a conclusion, it had passed by my mind~

...........

Today, I was reading the newspaper. There are pages of articles on the top scorers for this year A level in Singapore. Beforehand, Congratulation for those who have seen the 'fruits' after all the hardwork! ... and keep fighting for those who do not see the expected result yet! Just remember that there is no hardwork that never pays! You either harvest it slightly later, or... it helps you to learn your strengths and weaknesses!

Somewhere in the article mentions about the debate which points out about the impacts of the parents' education on child's success in school.

I totally agree that parents with higher education background has the capability to help the children academically. Often, higher education means better opprotunities and better living standard! This benefits the next generation to grow up in the environment that full of learning opportunity and exposure to the experiences that not every child could have!

Oh yeah... how I wish that I was one of these lucky kids! The fact I am not... but because of that I have my story to tell!

My dad and mom definitely not a diploma degree holder, nor a diploma holder. I have never even seen their primary school certificate! This does not make them less valueable compare to the Master holders nowadays! They are just not fortunate enough. That's it!

My Dad was unable to go to school without worrying about the need to make it back to work. Yeah! He started to work since he was 9 and made a living with his own effort!

My Mom? Discrimination is the word! My grandma didn't see the need for her daughters to pursue higher education. So what she offered was to stay home and help in doing house chores or picked up some skills as a tailor! My Mom chosed the later and excel in it!

These were the reasons there are no titles come after their names! But... They are forever-learners!

My dad picked up English before, and the vocabs still stucked until now, and he managed to initiate a conversation with a canadian who visited our small town a few years ago. I was not home anymore that time, but I still remember how happy he was when telling me the story! Believe it or not... he is better in writing in chinese than me! Yeah... he still practices writing until now and believe it or not... he has a Bahasa Indonesia dictionary in his drawer (it was belong to my sis and me before). I am surprised to see that he is still flipping through it from time to time, making notes, and asking me (with the intention to test me) certain words that he had learnt from the newspaper and had researched for the exact meaning from the dictionary!

My mom... She had always told us... If I were a boy, I would have done this... I would have done that...! One thing about her is she is a professor in things that she does! She always does it very thoroughly with attention to detail. That what make her a good tailor. Unfortunately, I do not inherit that part from her, fully. =) But... I am glad that I had someone to help me out for my handcraft homework before. Haha...

Without her, personally, experiences the higher education life, she knows how important education is. I should give the credit for whatever I have achieved now to her! Whenever I said I wanted to sign up for classes, it had always been an 'okay!'. Lucky me~

So... parents' academic qualifications are not everything for a child's success in school! In my case, my parents might not have high academic records, but they show good samples to us, plant good values in us, give us options, allow two ways communication, grant us the chance to explore, and love us! That's all that matters!

Doing that, they might have seen us succeed after first attempt, but often they have also seen us falling (learning half way, quitting stuff, etx), failed somewhere in our life, must be heartbreaking for them, but most of the time, live goes on! We need to stand up and start again!

My Parents are professors of my life!

4th Anniversary

March 2007 is the month I started writing on blogger, and stopped blogging on Friendster.

It's been 4 years and I have got 159 blog posts so far...

Maintaining has not always been easy. I need to sit down, type, read, delete, retype, read, delete, retype and so on... When the 'machine' has cool down, it always takes time to warm it up, and there the down time was...

I am grateful that I find something that I am passionate in... I am not great YET! but... One thing for sure, I AM GETTING BETTER!

Banzai, Writers!!!

With heartily passion,

Lin ^ ^

* I shall do something to the current black background, as some feedback said it hurt their eyes, when they stay too long in the site. I shall admit it actually hurts mine too. :p Feedback penned down!!!

Toastmaster - First Experience

As promised, I will share my first experience in toastmaster, if it's interesting enough. Frankly speaking, it's more than just interesting, it's inspiring, it makes me think, it's very informative, it's educative, so I have decided I will join as a member :)

The moment when I walked in, I was like... Wow... I bet I am the youngest! Yeah, it's a very 'senior' type of crowd. Okay, I won't be too 'age-ist' here, the most important thing is that people are very warm which made me feel welcomed. Some people are born as good speakers, while some others are trained to be one. Whatever it is, they are all there to polish the presentation skill, leadrship skill, etcetera. The spirit in learning is what I envy!

How was the meeting being carried out? Let me englihten those who have never been to one... ehm ehm... you should be grateful, because... I stepped in to the meeting room, without having the idea what to expect. If you can go to a battle field, knowing your enemy, the strategy, it will be much easier. How kind of me~ :D

Here we go...

There are some important role assigned to the member of the club, they are (I can't remember the exact name for the role, but it's something as followed):

Toastmaster of the evening - it's something like an MC

Seargant Arm - This person will call the meeting to order, gather everyone and start the meeting by introducing the Toastmaster of the evening

Table Topic Master - This person conducts the ice breaking session, where he will prepare 5 random topics to be presented by 5 random speakers (can be guests or members)

Time keeper - this person is the one who keep track of the timing, to make sure that the meeting is within the time frame

Toastmasters - Presenters of the night, there are 5 of them tonight. The material are prepared based on the 'chapter' of the menu that they are in.

Evalutors - These people evaluate the presenters. One Evalutor evalutes only One Presenter

Ah Counter or something - This person keeps track of every "Ah.." "Em..." mentioned in the room

Language Evalutor - Evaluating the language used. I envy the person so much. It's amazing to see how he can keep track of that small little things.

General Evaluator - Evaluating the whole meeting in general.

Let see how everyone played their role in the meeting:

- The Seargant Arm opened the meeting and introduced the Toastmaster of the Evening (TME)

- The TME did a little ice breaking session for everyone in the room and introduced the Table Topic Master

- Table Topic Master took over and started with the 5 random table topics to be presented. This was when some people volunteered and some were hand-picked

- The actual presentations started

- After that, evaluators will give their feedback to the presenters

At the end of the session, everyone is learning...

Recap!

Can you imagine that it's already March? It's still very clearly that I was welcoming the new year with a bunch of new friends looking at the Singapore classic fireworks when the clock hit 00:00 - VIP view!!!

Then... friend's wedding, CNY, my birthday, and back to this tiny country, where plenty opportunities await.

There is a list of plans to be executed, and I am starting very slow, but glad that the first step has been taken, although it's not easy it's satisfying. I am easily satisfied afterall. =D

I am not very great in keeping the healthy eating habits (the sour food and coffee are haunting me again), but I am officially fell in love with my breast stroke when I am in the pool (yeah... you can start laughing cause I don't care, I am too busy enjoying my own feeling that I can now finish so many laps, compare to 3 months ago). The point is I am exercising to burn off a small portion of the unhealthy food consumed.

Anyway, will try harder to get myself back to the gym! Wish me strength for this~

Learning wise, I am back to reading, and tomorrow is going to test my first toastmaster experience. Will share if it's interesting enough and most importantly, if I have the time!

I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught! - Winston Churchill