Who are we doing it for?

Most of the time, I do things for myself. The reason: ..., because I like to do so. ..., becasue I love to do it. ..., becuase it's good thing to do. ..., because this will be useful, for me and for others. There is also times, that I do it, because I am told not to do it.

A lot of time, I do it because I know people I love will be proud, happy, or rest-assured, when I do so. In the other words, I do it for others, people I love, I respect!

Which one is better? Do it for yourself or Do it for others?

The perfect answer will be: a balance of both!

However, in the not-so-perfect world, and as a not-so-perfect individual, the perfect answer might not be so perfect, afterall. There is always one reason, either for you or for others, that out-weigh the other.

I always like to think that things surrounding us are all RELATIVE, depending on how we see it. For me, it so much more important that we feel great after whatever we do, it can be something beneficial for us, but definitely not something Harmful to others.

Good Friend

Was exchanging messages with a very close friend.

If I think back, not sure why I can be so close to her. In a lot of things, we are just different, yet I am comfortable with her, a person who I have always turn to when I need a shoulder to rest. My dad even insisted that we should become god sister. haha

We were discussing about "being stressed out".

The scenario:

Me: Stressed, and would like to be alone
Her: Stressed, and need a company

Happened at the same time.

Her: want me to accompany her
Me: do not want to accompany her, as want to be alone

My Question: will you be mad at me?
Her Answer: If I am stressed, I believe you will never refuse to keep me accompany. Then, when you are stressed, I will try not to leave you alone, whenever possible (she joked that to prevent me from doing anything silly. Gosh! never cross my mind~) I will not be mad, anyway.

Ah~ What have I done before that I deserve such a good friend, friend with wings :')

Need to...

I found the word "Need to, but Don't Want to"

There are things that are done because we need to get it done, although it's something that we might not be comfortable with. Sometimes, it can be a great deal as we are going against what we believe in, but most of the time, we manage to find the reasons to do it, feel bad, and move on. Life is easier this way!

Change has never been easy. I find myself changes a Lot, and I have hard time dealing with it, when I realize it, e.g. I do not really laugh at something silly anymore and I do not enjoy talking about something unnecessary anymore.

It's something I need to get it done, because I am grown up! I can't dress an adult and still bring my childhood's toys around, can I?

I do not know why am I so stressed out because of this things, I have the right to change to be a better person. I have to be nice to myself. For those people who can't understand, "bye bye". I still believe, have faith that there are a few people, family friends who will still have their arm wide open to hug me, have their ears to listen to me, have their heart to talk to me. For them; "thank you."

Careless

IF only...

I can be a bit careless...

in everything that I have done
in everything that I am doing
in everything that I am going to do


I will be much happier, I suppose.

Mocha White Coffee

The last time when I drank white coffee from old town was in LCCT, waiting for my parents' flight to arrive for my convocation, August, last year!

After almost a year, I have forgotten how good their coffee is. Drank it last night, and again... I was back to the kopitiam tonight, for the my favourite Mocha white coffee.

Stomach is upset, but... I am happy :)

*Taking my Actal, then sleep*

My First Run

Here I am, super sleepy, but feel that I have to note it down, before the 'good feeling' dries off.

Yup! Am talking about my first 5km run, yesterday. I finally survived and completed the run. I think I am doing great. Well... to be fair I would like to say "better than some others." Giving my best, is the best part.

I found reaching the finish line is not the main point, nor how long it takes to finish it, it's the 'journey' in finishing the run which is great!

When I first see the sign "1 km", I feel 4km more to go. I then passed the 2km sign, half way to go. Then I ran pass the 3 km sign, I thought 'this is my limit during my practice in the gym, but today I feel I still can run another 3km'. Last, the greatest feeling was not when I reached the finish line, but when I passed the 4km, I know I am going to complete that run, and I did!

During my first 15 minutes in the bus home, I felt like smiling~ People might think I am nuts. Well, with a pair of muddy shoes, dirty training pants, wet hair, sleepy face, Oh~ Perfect! Anyway, the rest of almost 2 hours bus ride, I slept! Didn't care :p

Lesson that I learnt: Most of the time, things are not as difficult as it seems to be. Always take things step by step. It never fails!

Read the news today, the event has collected a sum of fund that will be donated to Singapore Cancer Foundation. Our prayer with you all, Fighters!

The Guide to Daily Living

I was attending the Rotary Club installation dinner last week. They distributed the Rotary Club newsletter, introducing the president, vice president, and other fellow Rotarians. Also, it summarizes the activities that the club has been doing, then there is this article titled as "The Guide to Daily Living".

It says "The 'Guide' serves to remind Rotarians of their priorities when doing 'Service Above Self' and when executing their obligations applying the object of Rotary."

However, I find that asking these questions to ourself will also help us to realize or it is simply reminding some important things in Life that we have overlooked.

Below is the higlight of the article. Stop and Think!

1. Have I spent some time in self-examinations?

This prompts us to evaluate ourselves and our ability to serve.

2. Have I spent quality time with my family?

This reiterates our commitment to our family - often neglected in the hustle and bustle of modern life, in same cases, we just take things for granted.

3. Have I given my best to my work?

This is reminder of the need to commit ourselves to work excellence and the practice of high ethical standard.

4. Have I given some time to someone near and far?

This prods us to remember the many less fortunate among us, at home and abroad, who need a helping hand - so taht we would "Lend A Hand". Such acts always lead to promotion of goodwill, understanding, and peace.

Have I?

Excuse me!

Out of main 3 things that bothering me now, there is one that I can easily solve. The damn Landlady who is NUTS. She is simply just has problem. She needs not a neurologist for her 'monthly migraine', she needs not a gastro specialist for her 'moody gastric', she simply just needs a Psychiatrist for her sickness.

If I were all alone by myself, I certainly have called the agent to help me find a new room. However, I am now with a roommate, so will give another month, and start searching now.

I do not feel bad for cursing her! She is the second person that I am so mad at. Maybe the first one that I will not forgive for her rudeness for people who cares for her (her current husband), and will always feel disgusted due to her cowardness in facing people (which I believe it's not only towards me).

I need to remember this so that in the future, when I meet some difficult to handle people, I know that they are not as bad as this one. (finger crossed) She laid out a 'rule' which I tried very hard to follow. Damn her! I am so stupid to let this kind of person setting 'rule' in my life.

She said (via her husband, she is a bitch coward that has never dare to talk to me on her own), she gives me Friday and Saturday to do my laundry. I do realize that it will be a bit hard to follow, but to avoid more conflict, or should I say to be a bit tolerate to the psycho, I just say yes!

As agreed, no matter, how late it is, the first thing I do when I reach home on Friday night is to wash my cloth! I normally bath, and sit around waiting for my laundry! This Friday, she had her cloth hung around during my 'allocated laundry day!' So, I can only did my laundry this afternoon.

She woke up this evening, finding my laundry, she called her husband, which I found out because, as always, her husband will call us (my roommate for today) afterwards, this time as the topic goes, asking about the laundry.

First of all, she gave the two days to me, and now she is complaining about it, while in the first place she is the one srcewed up the schedule.

I will not try so hard to tweak this shit so that the story will have a moral, a positive lesson to learn from it. She is NOT worth the effort! No matter how I see her, she is a coward, wearing an occasionally 'forced smiling mask', with no appreciation for others.

The only thing that I am thankful for is that I do not have to live with this kind of people for the rest of my life. I still hope that one day she will have the time to sit and think why her life is so screwed up, why she can't stay in the job for more than 2 months, why her son does not bother to talk to her, and swear in front her. She has so much bad things happen in her life, and she still complains that it's others' fault.

One thing I know for sure, when we are not getting along with a person, maybe it is simply just not the perfect match, but if we are not getting along with a lot of people, should start thinking that there might be something wrong with us!

Post with hatred! Excuse me!

Panic

A week left, half the race to go.

Random thoughts

I feel bad about myself who complains a lot lately, because outsiders have been affecting my life, my mood so much! I hate it! I hate people who complain, I hate myself even more when I complain.

I talked to a friend, she had been a very good listener. Sometimes, I need just a pair of ears to listen , really listen, and not commentting. Thank her for doing so, when I much need it.

Done a bit of thinking about responsibility, about giving our best and about the fact that we cannot change people.

Responsibility & Giving our Best

Each individual has responsibilities. The only that we can do about these responsibilities is to give in our best in fullfilling them. If each individual can just do what they are supposed to do, most likely 'helping hand' is not so much needed. I am not saying that we can now live without others, which we certainly CAN'T. Giving example; saying that if nobody is littering, everybody is doing their responsibility in keeping the environment clean, cleaner won't be out of job, but they certainly will have less unpleasant things to do, won't they?

If after giving your best you are still not achieveing the expected? It means your best is just isn't good enough! Feel good about the process that you have tried hard, next is to try harder.

Changing People

I should realize and should not be too upset that I cannot change the habit of others. The fact is nobody can. Good and Bad are relative. Nobody is perfect, and thus, some of us try to work towards perfection which we realize we can't, but still this is the process of giving our best. This is about the principle which some people live in, including me. This principle might not be 100% right for some people who do not believe so! Anyway, Right and Wrong are relative too.

The thoughts are so random, that I do not know how I should conclude them.