Good bye 2014, a year full of life lesson~

2014 is ending in 14 days. I am sad that it is going to end soon and I haven’t done much good in it. However, I welcome the new year, 2015, hoping that it will be a better year.


2014 is a year full of lesson, I have changed, I think. Especially the way that I look at life. It just becomes clearer than ever, and it has not always been for the better.


Anyway, to recap goals set and what’s achieved:
1. Coffee consumption reduction – total failure!!! I just love drinking coffee. The good thing, starting from this year, less instant but more on the ground bean! I suppose it is better, no?


2. Sleep pattern? Worsen! Hmmm... I really have to work on the mind, but somehow just don’t know how.


3. Reading! I have done tones! I think I have been reading at least 3 books a month. You do the counting. =D


4. Work smarter! Definitely had improved compared to last year. Although it has been a 7 days work (with half Monday and Sunday), I think it is not as stressful as the first 6^th months of the year. Achieved what is set and will continue with this until June 2015 at least. Again, plan may be just plan, but better than going blindly.


5. Writing – Sucks! Last year, it was like falling from the peak of the mountain to the valley. This year, it’s like from the peak of the mountain to the most bottom part of the sea. Hooray!


6. Travelling – Singapore – Checked! Bali at the mid of the year, and in a week time I am flying to Turkey with dad and mom. Finally... Although I actually plan it for the mid of next year, when it’s said to be a better month, but anyway, again plan remains just plan. Lastly, Malaysia for the MotoGP wasn’t planned for myself, and unfortunately was cancelled.


7.  Braces off!!! Completely!!! =)


8. Long Distance – It has never been easy and will never be... Counting the day that we spent together within this year is just heart-breaking. 6 days early of this year, 3 days in March, 5 days in June, 4 days in October and there will be none in December. All the numbers can still fit in my 10 fingers + another 10 toes! Magical~


9. Gadget! Will have to be postponed, but getting it soon, for the sake of work. My 5 years old compie is retiring of old age. Although it’s still working, but it’s in worrying condition. Still it has been faithful to me all this year~


I had better years... This year is really not my favorite. There are important things that I miss, important things that will never return back to me, there are important things that I just wish it could be different. But that’s life. It will never be as we expected, I learn the hard way. It will always full of surprises (sometimes it may not be the good one). It will always change and its course it's gonna change us who live in it. It has changed me definitely. My mind was better before, it has changed, unfortunately to the unfavorable directions. Sad but true... But one day looking back to this year, I will be thankful for all the things that had happened, as it helps me grow.


As I am learning, I still want to be kind even when I may not be treated kindly. I still don’t want to give up on that... I have given up so many important things, I want to maintain that one good thing in me.


As I am learning here, I still want to thank life, thank those who are always around in difficult times. I may not have many, but I have them! I am grateful of them.


Good bye 2014, a year that full of lesson~


Love,
Lin ^ ^

Choice in Life

Had a meaningful conversation with someone today, although it has no definite ending, but I hear myself saying things that I need to hear. I said “I know what I want in life given the possible scenarios.” That moment I am pretty sure what exactly I want.

In life, it is an endless searching of identity and at the end as normal as all people can be, we want to be happy, don’t we?

There are certain big steps in life when you can’t ‘try the water’, you just have to get soaked and see what life gives you and for people who believe in God, greater power, we will be granted the strength to get pass it. Or to those who are non believer, we  know too that things will pass. All will pass...

I think a lot before I decided to choose certain college, majoring in computing when I first graduated from high school. Apparently exact science isn’t my thing. Thus, I adjust my course and transferred to Business Computing. I graduated with a pretty good grade. Something I am glad to have to make my parents proud. That’s small achievement which I had put a lot of work into despite all the difficulties, language barrier, but I gave my best and my best had never let me down! That’s the good thing about dealing with yourself! When you know what you want, you just have to try your hardest and see where things go! We don’t beg others, worry about whether or not they will get the things done, we don’t have people to blame, we blame ourselves if things do not go right. However, the good thing is that we are always selfish creature who loves ourselves more than anything (no matter what we say to others, unless mother’s love, I guess), thus the blaming won’t drag too long. We find our way back and life goes on...

Then after graduating another part of worrying phase came again. Where should I look for a job? Should I go to Singapore or Jakarta? Can I find one? Can I deliver my task? and... as you know... It’s settled... Then some changes in life, moving cities, new job, and that’s settled too...

What I am trying to say here is that my life has not been going as I planned, and it won’t happen as I plan in the future, but I will live. I will put meaning into it. Right now, I will just dedicate my energy to those who trust me, family and students! At the same time, with little energy left in me, I still do not give up the idea to do little good thing for the community, to those who are really in need. I think we all who have the capacity owe it to that!

I do not know where this post is going... I just want to remind myself, to do things that make you happy and do not worry much. Uncertainty is the only thing that’s certain. Do not hurt yourself if the reason is just because you are afraid to hurt someone. You know exactly deep within your heart the thing and life that you want. Acknowledge that! You just have to have the courage to make it heard. No matter what it is, people who love you sincerely will be able to handle it... Have faith in them! We sometimes try so hard to make certain things work, while deep within we know that it’s just not going to, we are not happy with it... Someone said it right, we only have this one life to live. Make it count! Keep those who worth keeping! Kick out those whom you see have no part in your life. We need the courage to let go. We do not owe each other anything more than kindness. So be kind, even at times you have to be cruel.

We have to gather the courage and make a choice... That’s about life. It has always been about choice.

18 months of Teaching

For almost 2 years of my full time teaching... I have met a few kinds of kids! I believe there are more out there. There are those who are eager to learn, those who are born smart, those who are artistic but not strong academically, those whose logic doesn’t work AT ALL, but have extremely good memory, those who are attention seekers, those who are hungry for praises, and many other more.

There is no one right way in teaching children. I once read about something that said when you tell a kid something, it doesn’t work, it may be you are the one who is a failure. Then, you try other way and he/she still doesn’t get it, again, the blame is still on you. You will always be the one to blame until the kid gets it! It is kinda true. Some teachers (including me) will put up our arguments saying some kids are just so hard to teach! Yes.... the word is “so hard” which means it is still possible to teach them, it’s just we have to try harder. Although try to be just, we spend a-4-hours-weekly time with them, and parents and school teachers spend about a hundred hours with them (after deducting 8 hours sleeping time daily), so the question is... we can try so hard within that 4 hours, if school teachers and parents do not put the effort to help, what power do we have?

 

Anyway, after 18 months, one thing that works for sure is motivation. It works BEST! Simple one... I always give a kid a sticker if they do well in the exercise that I gave when they do well in their test (yet... I always remind them the score is just the score, keeping in mind my how bad the school system nowadays is... not better than what I used to get before... lots of them are memorizing without understanding). The sticker works really well! The kids put more effort to make sure they can get an extra sticker in each meeting which at the end when they have collected enough, they have the right to pick a small present from my collection, from stationery to toys.

 

The problems only occur when the kids have so many in their possessions that they don’t see the need of putting effort in getting those small prezzie from me. I can’t do much. So to parents out there (I am not one yet, but I would like to remind myself, when I were to be one someday), please please please make sure to encourage your kids to put their hardest effort to earn something that they want/deserve, even if you can provide it to them easily. This may be valuable in the future.

I too realize that this stickers-collecting gives a lesson of “fair competition”, a good mom help me with this. So here is the scenario, I had a “beautiful” hello kitty shelf in which they have to collect more stickers in order to get that. There were 3 kids (2 are sisters) who were interested in it, so... the 2 sisters asked me if they could combine their stickers and got the hello kitty. So my idea was if they wanted to combine, they had to ‘spend’ more stickers on that. If initially I need 30 stickers from a student, I asked 40 from 2 of them, 20 each. Then they went back and discussed about it. The next day, the elder sister told me that they weren’t going to combine their stickers, because it would be unfair to the other kid who was working alone in getting it. Bravo! What a good lesson~ J Good teacher alone can’t really do that, Good parents do!!!

I mentioned I have kids who are artistic and not academically strong. She is a girl who is really bad in memorizing, but she made me a 3D paper house, she jumped in to help whenever the other kids need some favors. I really do not know if it is always good, or she is just being busy-body, but I know for sure that’s her at her best, which cannot be graded in the report book at school. What can I do to kids like that, while school nowadays requires a lot of memorizing and not understanding. She is definitely not a failure although grading in school had ranked her as part of a few underperformed students.

 

Conversely there is another boy who is extremely good in memorizing, but has no logic AT ALL. He doesn’t know how to form a sentence that say “We had a running competition today and it was held on the fifth floor”. Instead he told me in a few sentences with broken grammar (even in his own mother tongue), he said “we run competition. on the cloud (to indicate that it is high). Yesterday, Thursday (not even know how to say “just now”).” This boy is eager to learn. He has never been lazy-ing around, although sometimes I can see he is tired and day-dreaming, but he has always showed up, even when he was sick, by choice!

 

There are no perfect kids/individuals. Being parents are not easy either. I am trying my very best not only teaching the kids things they can get in their textbooks. I want the kids that are with me now, would know how to be polite, be kind, and be hardworking. Hoping that the society they are in now don’t get them down, instead let them be the light to their parents, friends and people surrounding them! Yoohooo... as cliché as it sounds, I really hope that! :)

 

Guard Your Thought!

Who believe in the power of the mind?


Many books had been written about it, one of those which make it to the best selling chart is The Secret. I read it and I am one of those who actually believe in it. Simply put it as “if you believe it, you can make it happen.” Rhonda said the universe will work in its own way to make things happen. Things that we want, things that we consistently think about (especially those in our subconscious one). Anything! But to be realistic, don’t forget to actually do our part by acting on the ‘thing’ when it presents itself.


Anyway, everyone has different opinion about this. Doesn’t matter what we believe in, just be kind, to ourselves and to others (human/non-human). J


The reason why I write about this has nothing to do in convincing anyone on this matter. It’s just I had this experience today. Or sort of... Whatever it is I am glad it happened in the way it turned out.


I was contacted by my former lecturer to do interpreting for a Taiwanese education trainer (something like that?). It’s supposed to be today 1.30pm-4.30pm. So I was thinking, if I took up this request, I would have no off-day this WHOLE week. And I know that I need the rest.


Anyway, I told my former lecturer to look for someone else and ONLY if she can’t find anyone, then I will help her. Maybe she didn’t look hard enough or she just was not looking at all, so she contacted me again on Friday morning saying that she couldn’t find anyone. So I said yes.


Since then, I had been cursing myself for taking up the job. I can only think of my weekend without a proper rest. I felt terrible; the extra income didn’t excite me AT ALL. And for almost 24 hours I had been whining to my sis that I don’t have time to rest, that I regret that I promise my ex-lecturer to help her, bla bla bla..


Then 2 hours before the time, the lecturer contacted me again asking me to come earlier, so I said I couldn’t make it, because I have my own class at home. So I said I can only come at certain hours as promised, so at the end, she had to do the interpretation herself. Not that I am running from my responsibility, I can still deliver what I promised, which is a later time of the day, but circumstance had changed at her end, that made things as it turned out to be. At the end, I got what I need, my off-day!


It might be just a coincidence, but do you believe in the power of mind?


I believe it! For this, there are more reason to guard our thought! Keep it to the good ones and no others!

30DaysofHappyHealthyHoney

Today is the 30th day of my HappyHealthyHoney mission. Started it 30 days ago, just to remind myself to be thankful of all the little things in life, every single day!

FYI, this has nothing to do with drinking honey to be healthy and happy, as someone perceived it that way. Haha... It's totally not that! Although I have been drinking honey lemon almost every day for the past 3 weeks! It soothes the throat after long day of teaching, nothing more!

Anyway... the past 30 days, I have been trying to look for something good in each day that passed. If it is not something happy, it must be healthy, if it is not healthy, it is at least out of love ('honey' is chosen because it rhymes) Someone said it well, not every day is good, but there is a little good in every day. For that we are grateful!

Tracing back to each day through my Twitter, I realised that doing my best is what kept me happy. There are those days that I just want to lazy around, do perfectly nothing. It feels good, but it feels much better if I get things done! So, balancing is one thing! I wish I can do more, but there is a limit to the body I am now in... So as always, I just want to make the best out of things that I have now!

Also, knowing that I take care of myself well, eating and drinking healthy, exercising are things that make me happy.

Then, despite the kids that get me stressed out from time to time, I too realized that they are the reason behind my smiles! They are the people who can make me laugh and feel free lately. Things that they do that irritates me are all unintentional. They are pure soul! Stay that way longer, kids! :)

Good friends are hard to find! I am happy that I have one or two good friends! Friends who are ALWAYS there when am in need (and I am often "in need" :p), who don't take advantages of me, who are kind enough to 'slap' me in the face and sincerely willing to walk beside me and take my hand until am out of the black hole! Exaggerating am I? Haha... But I really do have that friend(s)!!! :)

My partner who is in a far far away land has made some of my days too. About two weeks ago (24 July) we are officially together and not-together (LDR) for 2 years! Communication is better lately and I am glad he is doing well there. I should say I am doing good too here! and as human being who has endless wishes, I hope WE will do well together for many more years to come~ :)  

Family is something that can't be left out, including my extended family! I am grateful that I am raised in this family! Everyone lives in different characters, there is no one perfect character, but in each of them I can see the good in them. I think I am just that person who always try to see the single flower that blooms in a huge green grass field! It is small, but it beautifies the view! It makes the little difference in it, in a good way! Each and every family member is like that! We contribute in different way. I love you, All~

As the mission ends in another 20 minutes (before the day ends) I just think that life is something unpredictable! We make plan (I personally LOVE making plan and follow through, it gives me a direction), but sometimes we gotta be more flexible too, considering how uncertain things can be!

A few things that I am working on for myself, so that things can be easier are the art of:

- Letting go

- Saying "Thank You" all the times

- Enjoying the moment

- Being Positive

- Being Kind

- Being Honest

- Loving

So Much Love,
Lin ^ ^

Living Hope

The short break is almost over, doing perfectly nothing is not much fun! I can enjoy them for a day or two, but after that I am in the state of depression, looking for things to distract me, keeping me busy.

The past few days, I have started reading “Giving” by Bill Clinton, and it really gets me thinking, a lot. There is this poor woman (financially, but rich in heart), donated all her life savings from washing and ironing people’s clothes. To the rich couples who said “we would rather die happy than rich”, by using what they have for good causes, greater causes!

Reading all their stories gets me an idea! Just want to jot it down now, as a reminder!

Every semester break, I am always in dilemma that without teaching I get paid. Then I would look for ways to compensate the parents! Not that I don’t deserve it after the hardwork, extra time that I would put in during the exam period, before the semester break, and it is something normal for the teachers in town, we get 12 months payment.

Anyway, for the upcoming semester breaks, I plan to donate certain amount of the tuition fee during the break time for the unfortunate kids! Getting my kids to be involved in it, teaching them about giving! That’s the rough plan! Got a lot more to do when the time comes! That’s the least that I could do. There is this helpless-feeling that I couldn’t do much, because I am too selfish, I cannot be selfless, but remind myself of Mother Theresa’s saying “if you can’t feed hundreds people, feed just one.”

There are stories of those good-hearted people who have touched my life! The real life not-so-super-kind-of “superheroes” that save and change life! I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but as a child whose life is saved, I know how it feels to be ‘rescued’, to be given a chance to actually put together a chain of love, to live well!

We live because We are meant to! We were once a gift to some people, at least the parents who raise us, we now still are... Gifts to people who (whether or not they know us) put their hope and faith in us! For that, I want to do the little things that I am capable of doing, hope that it will get bigger one day~

Lots of Love,

Lin ^ ^

P.S. Someone who can help me carry a gallon of mineral water into the house would be a great hero to me now. =D Helpless about this~

Lazy Recap



Just back from long semester break and after 2 weeks of teaching, here is another few days break for my valuable 5th week and of course Lebaran!

 

Selamat Lebaran for all muslim friends who are celebrating. :)

 

The past week had not been easy. I had been under the weather, the sore throat, running nose, cough, fever, but am recovering and with this time off, hopefully I can get my full recovery, because I am gonna fight harder in August! =D

 

How is everything going for the first 7 months in 2014? It has been a meaningful one....

 

First lesson learned, treasure health more than anything!!! I have a cousin who is now suffering from cancer and being given 3 more months to live isn’t something too nice to hear. The fact is that the sufferer doesn’t know her own condition. The intention is good, so that she won’t be feeling down. I am not sure what is best, but I really hope miracle happens. Her young children are definitely still needs her around longer.

 

Then another close friend found a cyst in her womb, get it ‘cleaned up’, and is recovering now. Hope everything turns out well after this... J

 

Me... Just get my general check up done and my cholesterol level is high! No medication yet, but going to control the food and more movement for the next two months. I don’t know what I have been eating though, haha.. must be the fried things! Nothing serious I hope, but at time like this, wishing mom is around to cook some more nutritious food for me.  

 

Next!!! Work! Set up a goal for this year, something reasonable, and achieving now! Feeling good about it... J

 

Third is coffee consumption. Had been coffee-addict last year! However with the time off, I somehow get better in controlling the consumption. Crave for it from time to time, but hopefully am able to keep it under-control for the next 5 months!

 

Fourth, it may seems a small deal for some, but for the rest of us who has trouble with it, it’s pretty depressing. It’s SLEEPING! Lately, been going to bed with lighter mind and sleep better. Learning to let go!

 

Fifth, been doing a lot of reading, but less writing... So gonna work more on the latter.

 

Sixth, upper braces’s off for almost 2 months now. The lower one is expected to be removed latest by September. After the long 5 years, I finally am going to be parted with it and I think I won’t miss it J

 

The seventh point for the seventh month this year, been missing my partner in a good way lately. Just passed our 2 years anniversary. It doesn’t feel like two years though, after all that we have been through! There is nothing beat seeing him in person, having each other close, but... if patience and understanding are what it needs for a better tomorrow, I really wish we both have what it needs.

 

Despite the ups and downs, Life is beautiful in its own way.

 

Am grateful that I am still breathing, still perform, still love, still kind and still brave and still live!

 

Prayers to those in Gaza and other lands of chaos... May peace be with you soon.

 

To life... be kind, be good and be beautiful~

 

Lin ^ ^

 

P.S. Pardon the lazy write up... :p

Grateful Heart

 

Yesterday, I finally made the visit to Rahmat International Wildlife Museum and Gallery. Had been wanting to do it for quite sometimes. For me I, it's quite amazing. The collections are shown in the 2 storeys building. We spent about an hour there. If ones intend to have a close look at each collection, it can easily take up 2 hours to finish the tour. It costs Rp. 32,000 and Rp 25,000 for adult and children tickets, respectively. Foreigner might be charged USD$ 10 though (about Rp. 120,000)



Anyway for that kind of money, My niece and I or any other parents may easily spend it on food in a fast food restaurant or in a game centre on a few round of machine games! If anyone is looking for another type of entertainment in town, the museum may be a good option. J I really recommend it. FYI, all the animals conserved inside are sourced from legal hunting, those which died in zoos, donations and gifts from friends of the owner (Mr. Rahmat Shah), or Legal purchases from all over the world. So those animals you will see inside are once alived and now preserved in the museum.

 

That’s just my personal opinion over the animals. Some people who look for big fancy things may not find the joy in that small museum. I would like to keep the kid’s heart in me who find every little thing as an adventure. That’s one of the best things that I learn from kids. J

 

This may be just my upbringing too. Thanks to my good parents, I haven’t been lacking anything, not food, not clothing, not education. In the environment where I grew up, there are many good things to play with, to see, to explore, but this is a big big world, thus there are also many things outside (in a bigger city) which I couldn’t get my hands on them, or even know they actually exist, when I was young!

 

We kids of the villagers played in the paddy field, flew kites, climbed trees, ran around without slippers, cycled to school under the sun, knew how a cow and goat look and sound like since young age, played with the things that are assumed as garbage for kids in the city, but treasure to us (sounds like Amazon?! J) It was small adventure in every game that we played, we had darker skin for playing under the sun, we were physically active and scientifically it is good, isn’t it? The drawbacks are I didn’t get to play in the game centre in the air-conditioned shopping mall, I only get to play with gadgets/video games after a few years of pleading, and we don’t have a museum in our ‘kampung’!

 

So here I am at my late 20, I still find those little things in the museums amazing! In fact, last two weeks, just visited Alive Museum in Singapore. Another good experience. Last year, visited the Madamme Tussauds Museum in Bangkok and last few years visited the toy museum in Singapore. They are all eye-opening for me!

 

There is never been too late for anything! J

 

So now, I am not complaining about childhood that is incomplete without those experiences that I had missed. In fact, I am grateful for what I had when I was young and I am happy that I get the chance to see what I haven’t seen before and actually have the time and energy to explore them!

Loving June~

As much as I like doing what I am doing now, I, too love taking break from time to time =D Some said I am not giving my best while I was still young, but for me, I know I will do my best in the things that need to be done and giving myself a reward after that.

June is a good month for me.

First, early this month I got my upper braces removed. It translates to easy brushing and flossing, no more ulcers because of the friction and more importantly it will be metal-less smile from here onwards. If the doctor delivers as she promised, I will soon be saying good bye to the lower one. :)

Next is the trip to Singapore. It is mainly to get my crown done. It is so good to know that I am, once again, in good hands! When we have known the best, it is difficult to settle to the mediocrity! The experience is so different with the one I have in Medan. Sad but it is the fact. Visiting the dentist in Medan, I got to remind the doctor if x-ray is needed, if there are cavities, if the gum is healthy, and so on. In Singapore, I just need to cooperate, put my trust and the doctor will do all the assessment of what needed to be done. For this, I would like to thank Dr Ansgar Cheng from Specialist Dental Group for the reassurance! Much appreciated! :)

Apart from that, Singapore has been like second home to me. I didn't spend long time there. 3 years, just a small fraction of my life, but it means a lot to me. It was my first experience working, for real! My first full time job. What I am now is partially shaped there. The guidance, the trust and the kindness that my ex bosses and colleagues gave are treasure! Seeing them again now feels real good! I miss them much! I miss working with them and surprisingly, I realized during that 2 hours sitting on the treatment chair, I miss the 'mentoring' session with the boss the most! To you people out there, appreciate those people who still want to spend time with you explaining things, making you a better person. We always need that kind of person in our life. I have lost one or two of them when I decided leaving Singapore for Medan. But I really treasure the time they have spent with me for the years I was there. :)

Then, the trip continue to Bali. It was a surprise visit to someone I care for. When I knocked on his door, he was like "Baby...." haha... I guess my mission had succeeded. Gosh... I am glad that it has finally over and I am here with him for the next few days. The past 2 months were so difficult. I always shared things with him, but unable to share this little good news that we are going to see each other soon is just making the wonderful things not so wonderful.

This is my fourth time in Bali. During my first 2 times here I had explored the tourist destination, so I am now here practically for the people and not the place. Other than trying to squeeze in light work in arranging the schedule for the new upcoming semester for the kids, this trip is a total do nothing and am loving it!

June, I am in Love~

Lin ^ ^

Lost-hope

I'm dying to write, but lately the negative feeling is clouding the mind. As always, the writing of the feeling of hopelessness are not meaningful. It brings out despair to the lowest level, it drowns us. Then, accidently logged in to another blog that I created and never get it updated since, there is a beautiful post there.

It's titled as : Happy Daddy's Day. It is like a reminder.

Long distance relationship is no joke. The people you think most, you care most, won't be always there for you. Likewise, you can't be there for him/her too when they need you. Then we hang on, to promises, but again If I see you next to never, how can we say forever? That's the hardest part!

For things to be solved, we communicate, we hug and you know things will be fine. However, when you are oceans apart, you can't do that. You just can't!

That's one of the things that have been occupying my mind.

Then, as we are growing up, our parents are growing old. I have vowed that Dad and Mom will be the priority in my life, as I have been in their life. I can't imagine myself married out and not around when they need me most one day. They just want me to be happy, their love is unconditional. For me in loving, as we receive, it makes us want to give more. That's should be how it works! I want to give them more!

That's another thing that have been occupying my mind.

How does both relate?
1. My parents will need me one day, for sure. If I am away, how can I do my duty, to be filial?
2. My partner will never have a good career in what he is doing now in Medan. I know it well. He knows it best! For a man, career is one of the top priority. I will not feel good in making him sacrifice. It will not be a happy ending.

So... that thought have been lingering in my mind for the past few months. I am a planner! I make sure I achieve what I have planned. Now not having a plan frustrates me!

It is unwise to ruin today's  happiness because the worry of tomorrow! It is unwise, but I just need reassurance that things going to be alright!

For me to be this sad, I must have been so happy before. Hope it will come back~

Lost-hope,
Lin
 

Friendship

 



There are so many types of friendship, I think... We have friends from our school days whom we may or may not be in touch with anymore, but when you see them you say "hi", "how are you' and things like that. There are friends we made during our college time, when we have been considered as a grown-up, the things that we do together are slightly different, more parties than before and when we graduated, from times to times we get invitation to their marriage, to their child's first birthday and so on. Then there are those we met during our working life, which sometimes can be the best type of friend that you can make or the worst.

 

I have a friend that I have known for 15-16 years. Our friendship isn't crazy and full of exciting story. Our life has always been ordinary. But what I am grateful about is that I have someone that kind enough to tell me what's right and what's wrong. Remind me when I am not walking in the right path. Be there when I am limping. Never judge. Her life is good, blessed, happy, but I don't envy her. I am happy for her. That's a huge difference in it.

 

When we grow up, life doesn't get any easier. That's why in Buddhism, the right teaching says that never seek happiness in the future. Live now! Ajahn Brahm will joke that in every stage of our life we suffer. When we are little, we can't speak our mind yet, that's the kind of suffering that babies experiences, when we are teenagers, we get rebellious, our surroundings seem not in sync with us, that's another stage of suffering, when you are an adult, we get irritating questions like "have you got a girl/boyfriend?", "when are you getting married?", "Have you got a baby?", yeah... all kind of sufferings =p And in every step of my life, apart from the supporting family, I have a few friends that I treasure much!

 

I don't know how we manage to take this so far, and with each passing day, it's not getting stale. It's always the same, there is always the feeling of grateful after each meeting, grateful to have them, before, grateful to have them now, and hopefully in the future. I believe like all relationship, our feeling in this friendship is mutual (we can't make it if it's one sided), we give our best, our sincerity to one another, and be sensible. And that make it so valuable, priceless.

 

Cheers to Friendship! :)

 

Grateful Me,

Lin ^ ^

 

Mom

I once read a writer saying that he writes well not because he is better than others but because he feels more than others. One of an example, how hardship in life, brings the more beautiful things that we could witness, read this article, a man recreates photos with daughter after losing his wife.

 

Anyway, there is little things to do with what am about to write. That was just a random thought. :p

 

My parents have my sister and me. I have them, people who I treasure, for the past 27 years and their worth is getting bigger with days. Recently, I was in an argument with an aunt, who insisted that when a woman is married to someone, she should put the husband's family above anything else. I am definitely not all in for this thing. For me, if someone wants respect, they got to earn it. Moreover, both families should be equally important. They worth the same! My mom was there, didn't utter anything. Then, about a month ago, we attended a wedding reception. The MC was saying something that rhymes in Chinese, it was saying something like: A girl is like a 'princess' in her house, while she is married ('out'), she is the 'xiao' xi fu (literally translated as 'small' in law).

Then out of no where, my mom was saying: "Hear that? when you are in someone else's family you are the 'xiao' xi fu." On a split second, I was thinking that it's unexpected from her. She has been one of the tough lady that I ever know, I would expect her to be a type of person who demands for equality between woman and man. She works as hard as my dad! For her, girls don't belong only in the kitchen. In her time, that's something rare. One day I am going to write about her story, how she wanted so bad to go for higher education (equal to the current junior high school), but given no chance.

Anyway, I think about it from time to time for the past few weeks, then I realize the difference between my mom and me. She is selfless. She still holds the Chinese culture well, in a good way, moderate amount! She wants the best out of us, her daughters, be respected and loved by someone, yet she knows well that we are responsible to make that happen. We cannot be the common 'contemporary-daughter-in-law'. We should realize how the daughter in law now differ from the one from the 70s'.

Now do you know why I love my parents so much? They do not even have the bachelor degree that's said to be the key to success nowadays, but they live just fine, they live good, even a whole lot better than some of us! Lesson learned, Mom~

One last thing I would like to remember, last week during our conversation, she said: "Your dad loves his wife and children well..." I am so blessed to be in this family.

I love you so much, Mom~

 

Happy 2014 \(^0^)/

Here we are… If lucky enough, we are given full 12 months, 365 days, 8760 hours in 2014. What are we going to do with that? First, would like to wish everyone a happier New Year. Life has always been good to me and I can’t be more grateful. I hope it will continue on that way, and most importantly I would like to be better and kinder to myself too. That’s the goal this year! “Love me more, love myself more”

As usual, here are a few goals to work on:

1. Reduce my coffee consumption to thrice a week max. Wish me luck on this, I have been addicted to coffee lately and anything that causes addiction isn’t good.

2. Having a better sleep pattern, must sleep before 12 mid night! Seems easy but it’s really not for me. Fighting!

3. Reading! Apart from the usual novel that I read, I would like to improve myself with more educative books, a heavier reading material. The brain of mine may not be so empty, but it can be better too. As the saying goes, we die when we stop learning. I would like to keep myself alive as much as possible. That’s me being kind to myself.

4. Work smarter. Last year, the working schedule has been too hectic. Long working hours which is not necessarily efficient. I would like to award myself a day off, when the new semester begins in July. I pray hard that I can find a good teaching assistant too this year. The goal is

a. With the help of an assistant by mid of the year, I will target for 60% growth from 2013

b. Without the help of an assistant, I would like to target for a 20% growth

5. Writing – Long term goal, but I really would like to make this happen in this lifetime. It’s not necessarily money making, it’s just something that I have always loved to do. Reading works of others have inspired me, make me rich, and I would like to contribute in the same way to others. I really am… Pray and work hard!

6. Travelling is one of the things that will never been left out. I have financial goal to achieve too but I also don’t want to lose out the opportunity in making a life in the midst of making a living. This year, there maybe a few short trips that I would like to make, Malaysia for motoGP, Singapore to catch up with good friends and dental visit and one trip with dad and mom to an unconfirmed destination. That’s the minimum that I would like to have this year.

7. Braces off this year, before mid year!!! Be discipline in taking care of the result that is achieved after a 4-years-of-suffering! Brush well and twice a year visit to the dentist.

8. In walking the path of long distance relationship, I just want myself to be tougher, to have faith, trust and hope that things work fine between us. It’s been just over 3 months and I have experienced a few break down, couldn’t control the emotion, couldn’t be the support that I am expected to be. We have an unknown time period to just go with it, thus, being strong is the only option. Never know what will happen, in the mean time, we hope it will work out fine at the end.

9. This is the least important, yet, I would like to put it in. I haven’t been really buying myself ‘gadget’ for the past 2 years, instead I spent it on experience. That’s very fulfilling and I am happy with that. However, there is some ‘human’ part in me that really would like to get a hold of a new iPhone. =p

That’s pretty much of everything. And as how a prayer should go, we give thanks to what we have, so I would like to thank for the family that I have, good life that I am living, good friends that always there to support me, good partner that is good in his own way and the strangers that have sometimes there to show me how simple and beautiful life can be. Then I end it with the hope that things can go well, people can be happier and of course above all wishing everyone a true wealth in this world, health!

Happy New Year 2014~

Less than 3,

Lin ^ ^