Have Faith in Me~

They said only dead fish go with the flow. I am not dead, in fact, I am quite alive (!) and I just go with the flow. Year 2012 offers so much unplanned stuff in my life.

I have never stepped in to a new year without planning what to do next. I normally will have a clear picture, numbered goals, and I execute everything as planned. This year is different. I kept the goals in mind, without penning it down, and yeah... my small little brain fails me. Blahhh~

Anyway, I was back in town in April. I am leaving again in Sept 11, 2012. It's a 'pending' dream come true. After 8 years, I am now realizing this dream. Beijing Language & Culture University, here I come~ Intensive course, but I hope I still have the chance to enjoy the city, the culture, and the people, hopefully...

I am writing this post in my cubicle at JW Marriott Medan. My last day at work, and I am dying waiting for the time to pass. It's totally different from my last day at my previous office, it was hectic as hell, and I remembered staying late to finish things up. Anyway, both experiences are different and I enjoy both. 

Four months in Medan is like vacation. I have not used to the life here. I am still comparing; Singapore still feels closer to my heart than Medan. Anyway, I have learnt and be reminded about lots of things in the past few months, about politics, about friendship, about acceptance of helping hands, about imperfection, about desperation, and about love.

Future is unclear. It has always been that way, anyway. I allow myself to stop planning. I am taking a baby step at a time. It may not be smart, but it feels good. I think I deserve this. To those whom I might have dissapointed, please bare with me. :) I am picking myself up!

I see a ray of Hope, thus have Faith in me and always Love me~ =D

"Hello World..."

*Unable to upload the usual image, because of LOW INTERNET CONNECTION.*

Dear  Blog, I miss you...   

Have been away for so long… and here I am in need of you and find my way back to you…

Can’t sleep well for two days in a row… What I got is a tired eyes, restless mind and worrying soul. I want to just go with the flow, like water… I want to fly to where the air is blowing, like sand in the dessert… I want to pass the days as it has been written, as some will call it as FATE. But how do I know if I am walking the right path? Who can tell me?

How was life? two months back in town… I can only say I love people I met lately. But I don’t love my surrounding as much as I love my previous one. Banzai to first job in your life! Oh my~ I never thought I will miss them so much… I don’t have the chance to say thank you properly to those who have taken care of me for my three years back there in Singapore. Settling down in a foreign country will not be easy without them. My previous bosses whom I had learnt so much from. I wish SDG grows as it is planned. Please keep its core values as before, where you put people first than anything else. I am grateful to know my dearest colleagues who had taken care of me~ Helen, Lena, Mercy, Shirley, Celia, Nancy and many more~ Be good, til we meet again~ I Love you all~

Back to the reason I am here, writing this post. I am confused, worried and lost. I am confused of the purpose of my life. I am worried to think the darkness ahead of me not knowing exactly I am heading now. Yeah... I am now really lost. What should I do? Someone told me, not to be confused, I should be living my own life, the way I want it to be, thus others have no right to tell me what to do. But what if it comes from people you love? You know that they mean good and you are actually partially agree with them. However, it may not be always what you wanted to do, not the way of life you want to live? What would you do?

I don’t know the answer, I just need my goodnight sleep now~

New Beginning

Have been away for so long... I am temporarily not working and going to travel around and take some break that I deserve until end of April.

Lately, was so exhausted due to too many outings with friends. Anyway, may not be able to do this once I go back to Medan. It should be quiter there :)

Anyway, I will be flying off to the Philipippine in 2 days. This would be one of the longest vacation that I have in the past 2 years (previous one was the one to China). Have not started packing yet will start tomorrow :D

It's really a mixed feeling, relief, enjoyment and worry. Can't explain them... but I believe, it's new beginning.

Marilyn Monroe: "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

She got everything right! :)

What's Really Important?

Good Morning, Sunshine~

In this lovely day, I would like to share something with you. It's in Bahasa Indonesia. :)

Brian Dyson, mantan CEO Coca Cola, pernah menyampaikan pidato yang sangat menarik. Katanya, "Bayangkan hidup itu seperti pemain akrobat... dengan lima bola di udara. Kita bisa menamai bola-bola itu dengan sebutan:

- pekerjaan

- keluarga

- kesehatan

- sahabat, dan

- semangat

Kita harus menjaga semua bola itu tetap di udara dan jangan sampai ada yang terjatuh. Kalaupun situasi mengharuskan Anda melepaskan salah satu di antara lima bola tersebut, lepaskanlah "pekerjaan" karena pekerjaan adalah BOLA KARET. Pada saat Anda menjatuhkan nya, suatu saat ia akan melambung kembali. Namun empat bola lain seperti Keluarga, Kesehatan, Sahabat, dan Semangat adalah BOLA KACA. Jika Anda menjatuhkannya, akibatnya bisa sangat fatal!"

Kemudian, Dyson mencoba mengajak kita hidup secara seimbang. Pada kenyataannya, kita terlalu menjaga pekerjaan (bola karet). Bahkan kita mengorbankan keluarga, kesehatan, sahabat, dan semangat demi menyelamatkan bola karet tersebut.

Contohnya: Demi uang atau pekerjaan, kita mengabaikan keluarga, demi meraih sukses dalam pekerjaan, kita tidak memperhatikan kesehatan, demi uang atau pekerjaan, kita rela menghancurkan hubungan dengan sahabat baik.

Bukan berarti pekerjaan tidak penting! Tapi jangan sampai uang atau pekerjaan menjadi "berhala" dalam hidup kita. Ingat, kalaupun kita kehilangan, uang selalu bisa dicari lagi. Tapi jika keluarga sudah "terjual" , kemana kita bisa membelinya lagi? Apakah kita bisa membeli sahabat? Apakah kesehatan kita bisa kembali normal, jika kita terkena penyakit kritis?

I have dropped my first rubber ball for health and family. It somehow makes my spirit bounces so high that working now is back to fun! :D I am anticipating things that would come next? I welcome them~

Happy Lunar New Year 2555

Happy Lunar New Year, All~

How much 'red packet' have you collected? How much food have you swallowed since the 22nd night? Best thing, how much time have you spent catching up with your family? both close and 'long lost' family.

Chinese New Year has always been more 'festive' than the 1st January for me, why? Because this is where the true love is :) This year, it's less crazy for me. I spent this new year with my family in my parents' new home (... half done, but warm.) and hopefully, can get the family photoshoot done on the fifth day of CNY.

Hope this year is going to be a better year for all of us, despite the fact that most people believe that 'water dragon' is not so good~ Anyway, you decide whether to live a good live or not :)

Wake Up!!!!

Here is a story that feel very close to my heart (... and maybe yours as well):

It's a story of a former partner and general manager of one of the foremost publishing houses in the United States, Leon Shimkin of Simon & Schuster. Here is his own experience in his own words (extracted from: "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living", Cargnegie, D")

For fifteen years I spent almost half of every business day holding conferences, discussing problems. Should we do this or that - or nothing at all? We would get tense; twist in our chairs; walk the floor; argue and go around in circles. When night came, I would be utterly exhausted. I fully expected to go on doing this sort of thing for the rest of my life. I had been doing this for fifteen years, and it never occured to me that there was a better way of doing. If anyone had told me that I could eliminate three fourths of all the time I spent in those worried conferences, and three fourths of my nervous strain - I would have thought he was a wild-eyed, slap-happy, armchair optimist. Yet I devised a plan that I did just that. I have been using this plan for eight years. It has performed wonders for my efficiency, my health and my happiness.

"It sounds like magic - but like all magic tricks, it is extremely simple when you see how it is done.

"Here is the secret: First, I immediately stopped the procedure I had been using in my conferences for fifteen years - a procedure that began with my troubled associates reciting all the details of what had gone wrong, and ending up by asking 'what shall we do?' Second, I made a new rule - a rule that everyone who wishes to present a problem to me must first prepare and submit a memorandum answering these 4 questions:

1. What is the Problem?

2. What is the cause of the problem?

3. What are all possible solutions of the problem?

4. What solution do you suggest?

The result:

My associate rarely come to me now with their problems. Why? Because they have discovered that in order to answer those four questions they have to get all the facts and think their problems through. And after they have done that they find, in 3/4 of the cases, they don't have to consult me at all, because the proper solution has popped out like a bread popping out from an electric toaster. And when discussion is needed, it will take about one third the time formerly required.

The place where I work, it has been going another way around... Sad, but it's true. Oopss... Someone has started opening a whole basket of worms. Good luck!

More Love in 2012

How was your first 2 weeks in 2012? Mine was splendid becauase of the well-spent 4 days at home with friends and family :)

Would like to congratulate my bestie, Wenny, for her beautiful wedding. "May you live happily ever after~" Also, had so much fun with Awen, In In and Susan. It's tiring, but it's FUN and unforgettable.

My niece is a big girl now, she ate spicy Padang rice, with lots and lots of water of course. We had a 'girl' pajama party WITHOUT her milk bottle. I am so proud of her. Good job, girl! :)

How about work? It's still tense, tiring and not always fun, but I am hanging in there. Changes are not always easy and better, but still gotta get through it...

Oh yeah... I shall record the first dissapointing letter when I first arrived back in town from Medan, it's rejection letter for my PR application. I tried my best, but can't do anything now. It makes me a bit unsure on things, but It doesn't make me feel extremely upset. In fact, I am quite open about it. I believe anything happened, happened for a reason :)

What's my goals in 2012? I can't post it here, but I definitely have something in mind. Sneak peak: Losing weight! :P It has always been in my to-achieve list for the last 2 years, which is not very easy to fullfil. Don't wish me luck. I really don't need luck on this, just determination, it requires lots and lots of it.

I am turning 25 in less than a month. Should I be celebrating it or worried about it? I would like to wish myself to be more confident, to be braver, to be more courageous (standing up for my opinion), to worry less, to enjoy life more, to smile and laugh more, to be happier.

Happy New Year, All~ Be kinder and slow down a little (the earth is not spinning faster than yesterday, why should we be running faster then?)~ Spread more Love in 2012.

Love,
Lin ^ ^

What's done is finished. Wave 2011 Good bye~

Here we are at the end of year 2-0-1-1. In 3 more days we are going to welcome the new year, new resolutions and of course, new hope!

This year has not always been easy, but it's fruitful. At the very end of this year, I feel much happier as I am released from that burden and 'heavy' feeling of having no other choices. With parents' blessing and support from family and friends, everything is much much easier. I just need to try a little bit more, and let go when the time comes.

Anyway, wrapping up each year, it's a must to list down things that had been done and those which hadn't been done yet.

Travellings

This year, I made 4 short trips to Indonesia: Jakarta, Bintan, Medan and Bali. Also, 1 Malaysia trip. Each of them was made for a purpose, Jakarta for the theme park (FUN), Bintan for hanging out with friends (LEISURE), Medan for Family (QUALITY TIME), Kuala Lumpur for shopping (RETAIL THERAPY) and last Bali for the love I have for this place (RELAXING). Mom and Dad are very busy this year, so there was no time to go for a trip with them. Next year, I have reserved something for them :)

Books

Books have always been in my list every year. I actually read a lot this year, let's see: the Millenium trilogy (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl who played with Fire, and The Girl who kicked the Hornets' nest), Snow Flower and The Secret Fan, The Secret of Life of Bees, Namesake, Sophaholic Abroad, The Lost Symbol, the Lucky One, I Don't Know How She Does It, Opening the Door of Your Heart and rereading a few other my-all-time-favorite books :)

Toastmaster

I am a member of YMCA Toastmaster now. I enjoy the meeting :) I have done 4 projects so far and had been appointed and volunteered as Seargant at Arm, Timer, Table Topic Master, Table Topic Speaker, and Toastmaster of the Evening. The meeting has always been relaxing and fun, even after a tiring and stressful day at work.

The Run

I completed 2 runs this year; Great Eastern and Shape Run. However, I may not want to run anymore in the future, as it seems my legs are not meant for that. Anyway, will see... when it's for a good cause, I may want to run again :)

Application of Permanent Resident Status

I have finally submitted the application in end of September. It will take time to approve, but at least I have put in a lot of effort, just hoping for the best.

Year End Present for Myself
I make it a habit that at the end of the year, for all the effort and hardwork that I had put in, I will buy myself a present: 2 years ago was a notebook, a year ago was an iPhone, now it's a Camera, Canon G12. Satisfied =p~

Other Happy Things

I would like to welcome my nephew, Sean, again. Am also very proud of my older niece as she is now in Primary School, and younger one who has always been so cheerful and never failed to shed some happiness to her parents, grandparents and others around her. I am a proud aunt :)

Things that I have planned but didn't do:

1) Guitar Course. I am in dillemma to decide whether to reserve my time for this or for personal time and rest? still... I have no solutions for this yet~

2) Preparation for further study (I have new plan in mind now... I will not depend too much on others in this matter anymore. I determine what I would like to do and how to do it!)

3) Be Healthy. It's really not so much on what I eat, really! It's the environment that trigger that acidic fluid in my stomach. (In the future, I know what to do =D)

There is no regret in this, as what's done and not done are finished. I have faith that today is good enough and tomorrow will be better.

Have a Blessed, Healthy, and Happy New Year 2012!

Angry People

The worst MRT breakdown after 24 years? People are frustated because they need to use alternative transportation to get to their destination, and it may not be more convenient.

I was reading the news and other than worrying about the well being on the passangers who are trapped underground, some people are making noises about REFUND and FREE RIDE.

OMG... if money what you look after just say it. Do not have to make a long explanation about how incompetent the CEO is, how SMRT should be sorry, bla bla bla...

When things are going well, no compliment given, assuming that it's something that you deserve. When things go wrong, again it's all about YOU YOU and YOU, and all else is wrong.

Principles

Finally... I exploded!

First of all, I am not proud that I can't always control my tears whenever I am angry, very very angry. But this time, I am glad that I have let it out. It feels tonnes lighter. Yeah, I admint that tears have never solved any problems, but they have saved my life. Never ever tell someone not to cry. You are killing them! If they are strong enough, without YOU telling them not to cry, they would never cry. However, if someone in need to steam off , crying is one of the ways. Some others may have their own way to steam off, such as: scolding others, throwing things, hurting themselves (or others), so on and so forth.

Try reading this article: the crying game. For myself, if I do not let myself to express and let out my emotions, I will probably be lying dead by now.

I have my principle in life! I may be young, but I know what's important TO ME to live in this world. Money is important, but it's even more important to live in harmony with others. I am not the type that will start a fight, but I will continue to fight if it's for justice.

Today, I would like to conclude a few points that I should remember for the rest of my life:

1. Tears may not be the most elegant way to solve things, but the fact that it helps to relieve burdens in life is important. You should unload the big block of rocks, before you can move on in life, with lighter shoulder and without grudge!

2. Come clean if you make mistake, at the same time never repeat it!

3. At the same time, when others make mistake, give them a chance to explain before you do your judging. Never let someone take the blame for mistakes made by others. It's not about pointing finger, but it's about justice and integrity.

4. Lead by sample! Walk the talk and NOT talk the walk.

5. Turn to family when you are in need. They will always open their door for you.

6. I am not ashamed to admit that I learn more useful and valuable things in life from my dog (for its loyalty), from the unfortunate people (for gratitude shown to the smallest things in life), and many others that may not necessary have the chance for higher education like many of us do nowadays (like my parents).

7. NEVER ever say that you understand others, because no one does! We will never know what others have been through! If you want to help, be true and kinder.

8. Stands up for what you think is right! However, it does not give you the right to hurt others! You live once, thus don't be nasty, be compassionate!

Quite a list, huh?