My Best Teachers of Life!

 

I am counting down to the day that I am gonna move town (Again). Every moves I made since I left my little hometown, Air Joman, it has always been for a good reason. To Medan for college, to Kuala Lumpur for University, to Singapore for good work experience, to Medan to recover and be close to family, to Bali (next) to have little family of my own with my other half.

So it is a month to that big Day. Mom and Dad are two people that are the happiest for me, I believe. I can see in their excitement in preparing things. I can see how proud they are when they announce it to family and friends that their little daughter is going to have family of her own to take care of soon. Mom especially is anxious for me. She knows how stubborn I am, she too understands that no one will be able to tolerate me as well as them, so she, whenever she can, will give me many advices. None of them are beautiful quotes but all of them are kind.

However among all, during the preparation to the big day, I am so proud of them because I get to know how big their hearts have been as parents.  They respect what I want and do not force me on what they wish to have. As they have always been, they trust me enough to take care of things on my own. Giving input, never to force! I have seen them give in, whenever possible, the beliefs that they have had for as long as they live, because they want to ease the whole process for me. For this, I can’t thank them enough!  

In this happy moment, I too can’t help to feel that sad feeling that I am not gonna be able to serve them as I want to in the future! Some said those little things are what matters at the end, and there are many little things that I will not be able to do for them anymore, once I move. I am heart-broken!

I know no one is going to take away my status as their daughter, not even my future husband. However, things will just change for them.

Dad just said to me and my sis yesterday that every time mom is coming to Medan, she will go around the ‘kampung’ to find us chicken (literally). It may sound silly for some people, however, we know that chickens from the village which are not ‘mass-produced’ has the best quality. My sis and I appreciate that a lot from my mom.  No matter how tired she is, how busy she is, our priority has always come first! It is like caring for her family is the greatest joy for her in this life.

So, It hit me a few days ago when she was tidying the kitchen and mentioned about not having to prepare a feast for the upcoming Chinese new year, because my sis and me will not be around to have that so called family reunion dinner next year.  Our conversation stopped there because her words were blocked for holding back tears and I have nothing comforting to say to her. I am the worst! After more than 30 years of tradition for having reunion dinner, next year they will have to start doing the sa cap me (除夕) dinner only by themselves. I can feel how lonely it must be.

Dad is simple. He said his thought. As we gathered around, mom, dad and I, sis and her 2 kids, dad said “I feel very happy that we can do things like this.” (Which means do nothing and just be together). No one responded, because, there is no best response that we can give to that simple statement.

I will never have a better family than what I have already had now. I hardly mentioned about my sister, but she is the best sis that I will ever have. She has many flaws, tonnes of them! But all those flaws are gone once I think about how kind she is as a sister. She is a total opposite from me. I am the kind who get things done, she is a perfect procrastinator. I am the kind who say my mind, she is super kind with words! She, as a daughter and sister, is a total giver! What she wants to do for me, dad and mom is give, give, give, give and give! She hardly takes! When she takes, she doesn’t take more than she has given. In this world, not many people can do this, not even siblings! So I know how fortunate I am to have her.

I can feel how each and every one of us trying to make full use of our time to do things for each other. We are trapped in the total opposite feelings of happiness and unwillingness to let go now.

I super love this family. Thank you for showing me what sacrifice looks like, what forgiveness is, how soft human’s heart should be, how hard can one be when needed and among all, what love feels like!

24th is our day!

It has been a while since my last post. Here I am now!

24th of July 2015 marked my 3 years with my partner (and hopefully partner for life!)

Things have not always been easy for us, we tried hard, love hard, be super kind to make things work! I once believe that Love should be easy, however, looking at some people who make it to the so called "grow old" together, most of them work hard. The working hard includes being there, be understanding, be kind in words and action, be respecful, be forgiving, be many many positive things!

I also learnt ego (I have much of this), Burj Khalifa Pride (super high pride), lies (even those beautiful lies) will drive the relationship between two persons to the very dark part of Black Sea.

I made a video so that I will always remember that we have been super ordinary and super extraordinary at some point of our life and weeks after that 24 July, I wrote to him too, and here they are:

Your best moment at work:

You got promoted is good moment, however in my eyes, your best moment is when you thrived and conquered those bad times at work! You rock!

Your best moment as a son:

Your good act as son is even in hard times, supporting your mom still comes as priority. That man will provide for his own family just fine! However, your best is when you actually see good things in her even at times of difficulty, we are all human after all. This makes you a courageous man.

Your best as a partner:

Sometimes for you being romantic feels good to me. However, your best as a partner is when you keep all the promises, the minor to the major ones. I will trade it with nothing!

Your best as a friend:

Poor thing I can't say much. But I know you value them. That makes you best as a friend.

Your best attire:

As always, that white!

Your best is in the eyes:

That clear brown eyes are good. However, when they are filled with excitement, passion and happiness, they are the best!

Your best in annoying me:

Silence

Your best in pleasing me:

Laughter and passionate talks

Your best in accepting:

You see imperfection in me, and you welcome them with hands wide open, never complain. And because of that, I want nothing but just be better for us!

Your best choice of partner in life:

Me! I'll make sure it's something that you will be grateful of for the rest of your life!

I see those bests in a man which at the same time also full of flaws. I actually see 'through' those flaws. Only love makes that possible. So I think I am in love!

That makes my best choice of partner in life:

You! Just stay as who you are. You are good enough. Remember don't try to impress me, because al this while, the sincerity has done all the job, made me adore you.

2 - 3 years ago, in the beginning of our relationship, there are some rejection from the family due to our difference in belief! At that time, he said: "If we go through this the right way, they will apparently see it." So far, we have done as many rights as we could, and we will still do many many more right things in the future, if granted the time. Only time can tell and we can prove!

For many more years to come! I love you, Baby...

Love,

Lin ^ ^

Learning in the process of Tutoring





Everything starts winding down. In a blink of eyes, we have made it through another school year. My students are going to the next level of learning; some are changing uniform soon, stepping to what so called teenage-hood, starting their first year of high school. Am always anxious dealing with the ‘current’ teenagers. They are not exactly like what we used to be. Or so I thought.

However, looking at many of the students, I come to a conclusion that how kids turn up mostly depends on how they are being brought up. I have written it in another post about 2 types of parents. Here I would like to focus more on how the daily things can make a difference in the development of a child. I read about the cognitive development theory by Jean Piaget. It is stated that children go through 4 stages as they actively construct their understanding of the world. There are 2 processes underlie this cognitive construction: organization (how do they separate important ideas and less important ones) and adaptation (how do they adjust to new environmental demands).

The first stage starts from birth to 2 years where they construct an understanding of the world by coordinating sensory experiences with physical and motoric actions, then the second stage from 2 – 7 years of age where they connect the sensory information with physical action, e.g. to know how long a stick is compared to another stick, they will try to put them together and come to their conclusion. The next level is a concrete operational stage (7 – 11 years of age) where they can do internalized mental actions, e.g. they can now compare the length of stick by just imagining putting two sticks together, without actually doing physically. Lastly, formal operational stage that starts from 11 to 15 years of age, where they move beyond concrete experiences and think in abstract and more logical terms. In this stage, they might think about what an ideal parent is like and compare their parents to the version of their ideal parents (I guess this is why I always think that the children who are just stepped into their junior high school year is more difficult to handle, while those in their senior years are already more ‘stable’ – again, stable in a very unstable form.)

Anyway, I encountered an incident with my student who is about 5-6 years old who make me think “What if a kid doesn’t go through the above mentioned stages properly?”

I have a student who had been sent for tutoring class since a very young age, as parents put academic above everything and another reason for doing it is because impatience to handle their own kids. So the kid basically seems like to skip the whole first stage of Piaget’s theory! The kid does not know how to put the book in a bag properly (so that the bag can be zipped), the kid doesn’t know how to wash hand with soap and wash it off properly, the kid doesn’t know how to operate a scissor, the kid doesn’t know when the pants are not worn properly.

Though he knows how to write, recognize characters faster than any other kids.

If given the opportunity to observe, I really would like to know what kind of parenting works the better. It is too immature to tell right now, although I know that I got irritated more because a kid can’t do what he/she is supposed to be able to do at his age than being impressed with the ability to do what his/her peers can’t do yet.

Anyway, that’s just me being me!

For myself, we were growing up in different environment. We didn’t have much gadget to play with. We were outdoor a lot, we were super active physically, we were not on tuition class as much as the kids now, if we did, because we wanted to not because we needed to, our parents involved in our playing time too as much as they can, they were home a lot (we were privileged to have a shop just outside our house), we had our dinner together and we do not rush through it for homework or TV programme, we had seen a real cow, pig, turtle, goat, rabbit in our daily life, LIVE, not virtually through internet or TV.

So as a tutor I am still trying to understand many many things, try to understand how things have evolved.



Tomb Sweeping Festival (清明节）

清明时节雨纷纷，路上行人欲断魂

借问酒家何处有，牧童遥指杏花村

This is the time of the year where some Chinese pay respect to their deceased ancestors. People around the world travel thousands of miles for that. They really do this out of respect! They keep in their heart how much their ancestor had done in their life that contributes to the well-being that is being enjoyed by the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren at the present. For some, this 清明节 (Tomb Sweeping festival) is another time of the year for ‘family’ reunion, as the name suggests it's actually the time for people to go outside and enjoy the clear and brightness of Spring in which also include the tending of the ancestors' graves, thus the tradition. My uncles are currently in the Mainland China to pay their respect to my great-great grandpa and in this trip they expect to be introduced to their so called family. From their previous story, the ‘family’ there welcomes them very much!


After being away for 8 years, since I am home now, for the past 2 years, I made the trip back too. I didn’t have to travel thousands of miles though, just a few hundred kilometers. Although I don’t completely understand the origin and how this tradition is being carried out, however, I understand the good intention and values behind it, which is respect for the (deceased) elders, the quality that has evolved a lot in definition and in practice by now.

我的“大概”确不够好

早上醒来，胸口还是抱着希望，对自己很有信心。这次的考试我一定会取得胜利。可是，天确想教训教训我。

为了这次考试，我已经做好两个月的准备。每晚都埋头学习，已经完成了五六套的摸似题。为了加强听力于词汇也花一两个小时的时间看中国电视节目。学的东西可不少。

上个星期二，朋友就通知我说，星期三就能拿到了准考证。我就对他说，我会这几天之内，去他家拾取，顺便去查看考试地点。可是因为工作忙，直到了星期五晚上才有机会去取准考证，而时间太晚了，就不去查地点了。心里想着，我“大概”知道那个地方，应该会找的到的。

昨天晚上，做好了最后一套模似题，就对自己说，明天的考试我一定会过关的，安心的去睡了。早上吃了早餐，准备好了就出发了，时间还早。为了确认我的“大概”， 我就开了一个手机应用程序，。有了这个应用程序，我就依赖着它的指挥走。我越走越远，路道越偏僻，我越不熟悉了。可是，我还是跟着它的指挥走下去。到了一个地方，我决定，这个应用程序不可靠了。就决定找其他办法，打个电话，可是一看到仪表盘的时间一分钟一分钟地过去，我的信心也是一丝丝的溜走了。最后还是到了目的地。可是，我一打开门，就正要开始听力的第一题。我的心正怦怦直跳，无法集中精力，我大概失去了前十五题。 虽然心跳慢慢地安定下来，但是失去的无法挽回了。

学会了什么呢？

我的“大概”确不够好。我下次还要尽量准备好我能准备的事。我考试不通过，我没有什么遗憾，我尽力了。但是，对自己觉得很失望是因为我没去做我应该做的事，我能够做的是，“确定考试地点”。

Waking up this morning, I was still full of confidence. Thinking that I am gonna pass this test. Yet, the day has to taught me something else.

For this test I had made 2 months preparation. Studying at night, doing the mock up test, and to better my listening skill and strengthen my vocabulary, had spent a few hours daily watching Chinese program. Learnt a lot!

Last week, a friend told me that I can get the Admission ticket by Wednesday, so I told her that I will pick it up from her within those few days, because I had to check for the location where the exam would be held as well. But because of the daily routine, I could only make it later on Friday night, and it was late, so I decided that I would skip checking the location because I thought I “roughly” know where it is.

Last night, after finish my last mock up paper, I still told myself that I will pass this test, and went to sleep. Morning woke up, had breakfast, and drove out of the house. I decided to use a phone application to confirm the “rough” location that I thought I know. So I relied on that application. Until where it got me to some places that I no longer recognized then I shut it down and make a phone call, asking for direction from a family member. That time, when I looked at the time at the dashboard, with every minutes passing, my confidence had skipped out on me. I finally made it to the right place. When I opened the door of the class, the first question for listening part was starting. My heart was pounding, louder than the speaker and I couldn’t concentrate, for that I think I had lost my first 15 questions. With time, I am calmer, but what I had missed, cannot be retrived back.

What have I learnt?

My “roughly” wasn’t good enough. Next time, for anything, I have to make a better preparation. If I do not pass this test, I have no regret in it. Learnt a lot during the process. However, I feel disappointed because I didn’t do what I should and could actually do, “confirming the location.” That should and could might have done a lot of difference.

However, I had a good laugh with my friend on this. It just sounds silly.

G-R-A-C-E-F-U-L

I can’t recall when my love for Chinese language started. The only thing that I know when people asked me why I want to learn Chinese is “It’s beautiful”. However, it has been a while since I last said that.

For the past few weeks, I am preparing for my HSK exam, so as “supplementary” materials I have been spending one to two hours watching Chinese programme on TV every night, trying to enrich my vocabulary. Now enjoying the night watching Chinese TV channel, I am being reminded again of that feeling. I am holding my tears and swallowed it down my throat when the MC was introducing things. I am amazed by the richness of this language, it has impressed me every time I learn 4 new characters that form a phrase which can only be explained in at least one full sentence in other languages to capture the exact meaning, most importantly is how it has brought to LIFE the beautiful thoughts and things in our world. That’s the beauty of language in general, however, I have something for Chinese that I don’t have for other language (as of now). For me, she is just Graceful.

I have long way to go before I am able to put every single thoughts of mine in a beautiful form of Chinese. Right now it has been a blessing to just have the privilege to understand, to know, to see the world through this beautiful language.



Chinese New Year 2015

Happy Chinese New Year =D

Here are a few things that are always there before, during and after CNY:

1. The spring cleaning – This can be very tiring but at the same time you might find long lost treasure that brings back memory. =D

2. The cookies baking – I am not too involved for the past few years, like I used to when I was still in my primary or high school. I am enjoying part of the eating though.

3. The visiting – There has always been the order when things happened, Dad’s side, then mom’s, mom’s mom’s… Mom comes from a bigger family 

4. The hosting – There’s also the part when we become the host. Waiting for the guests whom we just met hours ago to visit us. It seems unnecessary, but that’s our family. Out of respect for the elders.

5. For both visiting and hosting, there are certain traditions, good ones, that we keep. The guests come with something and wishing the host all the good things, and the host won’t let the guests go back empty handed, making sure they go back bringing all the good things too, in the form of sweet goodies (representing all the sweet things in life), oranges (it’s ju zi (桔子) in Chinese, which rhymes with ji (吉) which means luck). During the process, you will see the bargaining processes on how much the guests will take back. The host will give as much as possible (because there are so much food at home), and the guest will take back as little as possible (for the same reason as the host).

6. Angbao giving and collecting. I am still in the latter category, as I am not married. In our family, no matter how old you are, you will still be receiving if you aren’t married. Some married couples will still be receiving from their parents (not from relatives though). It’s just a tradition where the parents will formally bless them (apart from us, the children, being in their daily prayer).

7. During the angbao distributing, you will also hear lots of good wishes wish upon you. For the young, “grow up fast” and “be good”, for the teenagers “good luck with your studies”, for the singles “hope to find a partner soon”, for the attached “hope to get married soon”, for the married with no kids “hope to get healthy children soon”, for the married with kids… they are supposed to give up angbao and giving out wishes. =D
This family isn’t perfect, but we are good with this. :)

During the New Year, some realities also set in deeper than it usually does. I sometimes think that having a son in the family will be a good thing too. As open minded as I am, there are some expectation in the Chinese family on how things should be. When we grow old, Girls should be married O-U-T, and for parents who don’t have boys at home, how do they feel when the New Year comes? Who will the mom be cooking for during the Chinese New Year eve? Who will help out the dad to lift things up during the spring cleaning? How do they feel waiting for the son-in-laws to bring their daughters back to them during the festive season? At this stage, I will never know for sure.

I Love Learning!

I am preparing for HSK test, it’s kinda TOEFL or IELTS for Chinese. There is actually no use for it as of now, as I am not applying for further study in China or applying for a job that will require that certification. I do it just to test myself out, to see how my Chinese is, and most importantly is that I need a goal to work on. I thought this might be relevant to what I do now. 

Paid for the registration fee, filled the form and submitted the photo, so tonight, when I was about to enjoy my night watching movie, I switched my computer screen to the mock up test, thinking to just do some part of it. At the end, I just couldn’t stop, I managed to finish two third of the test. The result is not bad, not sure if I am within the timing given though, but I am pretty sure I can pass the test. Haha… So for the next 2 months I am gonna work on a better goal, not only passing, but passing with a good grade. That’s me being me. I know that grade doesn’t guarantee anything, but since I have decided to do it, might as well put my best in it! :D

Initially I chose to do it in March because I want to give myself another chance this year in case I failed for the first time round. As there is another test in October. Anyway, for now, will just give my best for March and see how it works.

But I am glad that I actually do this though. Haven’t done anything academically since my China’s study. Somehow I feel great doing this  I just wonder why some kids hate school so much? I sincerely love learning! I love everything about it, including the test! =D


梅镁，加油！

What have you given to your kids?

Given the opportunity to work with kids from many different background let me see many different types of parents. I am writing from the angle that I can see.

I realize how our kids turn out are all go back to their parents? Or to be fair, lets say 80% of parents’ responsibility and 20% of the kids’ responsibility.

I once read that “if a kid doesn’t understand your explanation, then it’s your fault, if you explain it again and he/she still doesn’t get it, it’s still your fault.” This means if we try hard enough to understand him/her, we will find the right way to get through them. And this is normally true.

I have asked a parent to find a new teacher for her kid, as I have tried so many different ways but I still saw no improvement. Thus the suggestion… First the feeling of failure was haunting me, but to be honest many other students actually have shown improvement, so I let go and put more energy to those whom I can help. ALL of the time, even kids who are studying the same topic will need a different approach to get them to master that topic. The approach must suit them, it must complement their weaknesses and most of the time with a little reward and scolding to motivate them =D

So the question is what types of parents have I seen?

1. Parents who pity the kids and want the kids to have an easy life.

Majority of parents I met fall into this category. Pressure comes from all directions, government, society, friends or even the parents themselves. With all of those pressures (good grades, good clothing, good toys, good image), many parents are unintentionally spoiling their kids. What have they done?

- Sending them to all types of tuition without really considering the use. Some tuitions even make things worst. What it teaches the kids are going to harm them in the long run that’s learning without understanding (something that I have been through). Sometimes, the kids were sent just because the other kids are attending the same tuition. So it’s ‘peer-pressure’, Singaporean calls it “kia su.” Many times, I have to remind my kids that having a tutor is so that they can learn more, not merely to get a passing grade at school. And many times, the kids find this idea ridiculous, because this idea is new to them. They aren’t told about that.

- Giving them the wrong toys. Have seen many parents would rather spend millions of rupiah on a teddy bear than an educational toy that will cost them half!

- When the parents are informed that the kids would need to do some activities that would be useful for the development of their brain (and even given the example of activities or learning materials that will help), their response is either: “Yeah… I know she is very weak at that.” And then there is no action to strengthen what is weark or “No, he is actually very good at it. At home, he can do this, this and this…” So, there is No action required for what is thought to be good enough already. In short, NO ACTION!

- These parents understand how much pressure the kids have, how tired the kids are running from one activity to another, so they will try to help them in other things like: preparing the stationery that they will need at school, help them take out the books they will need, help them sharpen their pencils, feed them, help them put back things that they have used, etc. This result in a very dependent kid! For me, this is not a very good idea.

2. Parents who weigh the use of everything given to the kids.

I see a few of this type of parents. They are not many in the place where I live. These parents resist peer pressure. They will spend more time than money for the kids. They really monitor what is good for the kids and leave out what’s not. By spending more time with the kids, the kids who are raised by these parents are more polite. (Attention: Parents should know that no matter how much money you spend on a kid, it doesn’t guarantee they will turn out as you want them to be. If you want them to turn out alright, then you should show them how “Alright” is and you gotta do it YOURSELF!”

The best thing about these parents is that they go through the trouble to teach the little skills that are thought to be less important such as buttoning their shirt, put on their clothes, the correct use of scissors, etc. You will be surprised to know how these little skills have ‘produced’ a more independent kid with better self-esteem.

That’s what I see for the past 2 years. It’s sad to see how kids actually can improve if the parents are more attentive, more willing to spend ‘quality’ time with their kids, but they choose not and trusted that privilege fully to an outsider, so called ‘teacher’!

The idea for this post is initiated during my conversation with my mom. Dad and Mom have given me a lot, one of them is education. Other than that, it’s trust! Here the conversation goes:

I was telling her that my friends are coming over on Thursday and that we will have a sleepover at our house that night. I mentioned about watching movie and joking about drinking. She then said “yeah… finish the two bottles of beer left and your black label, just don’t touch my DOM.” That’s funny. Because when we talk about drinking, shouldn’t mom be reminding me about sellf-control? But she didn’t. She trusts me enough that I can take care of myself and I guess that trust is there because I have done well so far that I deserve that. With that kind of trust and love, how can I disappoint her?

What have you given your kids?

The Lenghty Long Distance

Valentine is approaching. Some couples have made their plan, those who are single to be attached soon but for some others it’s just another ordinary day.

It happened that I fall into the last category. “Happy valentine’s day in advance!”

Writing this post today, I want to share about the feeling of being in a long distance relationship. So this is how it goes.

Things to have:

1. Internet connection. Make sure that it’s good so that you can see each other’s face when you are talking. You can see your partner laugh at your joke, you can see your partner react on your statement, you can see your partner’s face of disappointment so that you know what to do to make up for it, you can see your partner moving around and feel alive, and the point is so that you can see your partner.

2. A phone, a good smart phone. Don’t get those old dumb phones or those old smart phone. Everything comes with the word “old” sometimes worsen things. You know how an old smart phone response to your ‘touch’, slow! You know how an old smart phone tries so hard to get the 3G signal, weak! You know how you feel if you are interacting with something slow and weak, Irritated!

3. Time and Money! What’s that for? Tickets!!! So that they get you there, to your partner!

4. The Will. If you think money and time can make everything happens, you are so wrong! You have the time and money to travel to your partner, but the will isn’t there! Money + Time – Will = BS!

5. Keep the right friends around. For girls, keep those friends who can slap you when you are being a super-ungrateful bitch or a super-blinded-stupid girl and not those who will purposely light the matches around a gas station. For boys, remember girls out there can be dangerous nowadays, so keep those friends who will remind you to keep your pants zipped before someone gets hurt.

6. Trust! Have it and Respect it…

What happened during the process?

1. More than words! It’s not a song title! It’s the process of going from being together to being alone-together! You are alone, I am alone and we are together in being alone. To make the last one lasts, we need more than just words! It’s not easy to keep words! We promise, we first have all the heart to make it happen, to keep the promise, yet… life is unpredictable, so our words are thrashed and your partner will go to a mode of “i-hate-you-for-not-keeping-your-words” and a little drama, if the Will and Trust are still there, with Actions… then Love might be saved.

2. Down time! It’s not referring to the time you are doing nothing and not being productive, but the time you are thinking about how miserable your life for having but at the same time not having! No matter how ‘robotic’ you are, if you are still human, you will feel this, especially if the time is lengthy (= long time) Be prepared to deal with it! It will pass (finger-crossed, I hope it will always pass for me), but the process is shitty.

3. Clairvoyant can be tricky! With time, you will develop your skill in sensing without even have to see your partner. You roughly know how their mood without them telling you. Not everything is accurate! So filtering is a tricky task!

4. Game of good cop bad cop! You have to ask the right question to get the right answer. There are times you have to offer them some treats, cigarette or a cup of warm coffee. There are times you have to flip the table. Gotta do it right! If not, the smart phone is gonna hang up on you! Damn! Why do they have to have “END CALL” button?

5. Speak cautiously! It’s like a police officer arresting someone that will read out Miranda warning “… anything you do and say can and will be held against you…” the thing is that in this case you have no attorney to be appointed to you to defend you even if you can afford one! I can’t really further explain this point, because the things we say over the phone, over a social chat app may sound and be interpreted differently depending on the mood of the receiver. So over time, you will learn how to keep things and that’s not exactly healthy but on another hand you will have less fight over unnecessary things which sometimes may be necessary to keep some sparks and to keep the ‘engine’ HOT! Whooo… Tough choice? A cool relationship or a hot one? It’s like the waitress asking you “teh manis dingin atau panas?” Important question!

6. Learn to be together when you are together. Be careful with habit! Habit of not seeing each other in person, not feeling each others’ touch, not having someone in presence are things that you will get used to. And when you finally see each other, you will need time to adjust, be careful because you may like them virtually more than in person, just because of habit!

Doctor’s advices, dosage of usage must be consulted based on the personality of the couples:

1. Do things with logic, but make sure it’s a kind logic! Logic is harsh. It sometimes can bend the truth to fit the belief and that’s not very right! So do it kindly. No one says things will be easy.

2. Go with the flow but have end in mind. If you can see the end is to the sewage in Sampali Medan, Indonesia and not to the beautiful beach of phi phi island, Thailand, then change your course.

3. Communicate. No 5 above is going to happen with time. But still keep the communication as often as possible, as kind as possible, as transparent as possible, as much as you want to keep the relationship.

4. Know what you want and to read the sign. Listen to your heart! Do not deny it! It is often right.


Looking at the sky, I once wrote:

Love…

It should be like the sky with no end.

Although sometimes it’s covered with dark cloud, it apparently will clear up.

Although it sometimes rains, it’s how rainbow is formed.

I love you baby…



Easier said than done, still… it’s how it should be…

Merhaba 2015

Merhaba!!! Just came back from Turkey, another dream came true. I have longed for the trip for a few years. How it happened is totally not as planned. It’s not supposed to happen last December. It’s supposed to be in the mid of 2015, yet... the unplanned had happened.

Mom was in a hurry to visit all the places that she and dad could visit because she told me that she’s worried that Dad’s leg may not be in their best to do it next year or next next year. Let’s just hope that’s not true. However, the fact is that the age starting to steal from them. I am upset, but during the trip I was reminded again on how simple their life has been and how simple things are for them. Somehow, that’s beautiful.

The first sunrise in Istanbul had given me a very good first impression of the country. Haven’t really seen that after the Philippine trip in 2012. The best is that Dad and Mom were so excited to experience, to see and to touch their first snow in life. I am happy for them. We rode the bus from one city to another (Istanbul, Canakkale, Bergama, Konya, Kusadasi, Pamukkale, Cappadocia, Ankara), along the way the landscape and the view were just stunning!!! The long ride allowed me to think a lot, gave me time to write too. As the trip has ended, here is what left. It describes all about Turkey that I saw and about me.

Sitting and looking out
The trees are graying and drying out
The grass is small yet standing strong
The girl just wants to be out

Sitting and looking out
The mountain is tall and love by Goddess and God
The sea is white, blue and dark
The girl just wants to be out

Sitting and looking out
The sky is silvery blue with hanging white cloud
The seagulls fly with the wings spread out
The girl just wants to be out


Sitting and looking out
World is big and crowded
The dreams grow and sound loud
The girl just wants to be out


Sitting and looking out
The wind blows the mind out
The future demands strongest scout
The girl just wants to be out