The person I want to be and NOT want to be

Dealing with certain people make me realize the person I want to be and the person I will try my hardest NOT to be.

This is a reminder to myself. I hope in 10 to 30 years from now, I will look back at this post and hope that I do not stray off course.

I WANT to be a person that always be grateful of the little good things that others have done for me. ALL THE little things, including, accepting the offer to serve me a bowl of soup and I want to always say THANK YOU for those thoughtful act.

I DO NOT WANT to be the person who is unappreciative of the things that others have done for me, even though it maybe not exactly what I want, but if I know that they do it out of good intention, I will accept it with an open heart! Because that what lifts people up! The opposite puts people down and make others not want to do anything else for us. Example: If someone is dying to share their most favorite food with me, I will devour it and for that one time NOT insist on my own preference and put down theirs. We can always have our own "good food" some other time, so much time for that. The fact that others want us to have a taste of their favorite things should be a sign of love and that is priceless. So, Appreciation is the least we can give them in return.

I WANT to be the person who is easy to deal with, like my dad and mom. They are just happy about almost anything that we do for them. It is so easy to buy them gifts, foods, or even take them anywhere. They will use the things that you buy them, they will give the foods that we bought them a try (and decide if it is good or not later on), they will have a good time whenever you take them to. Looking at how our efforts are appreciated makes us want to do more for them.

I DO NOT WANT to be a person who is difficult to deal with. I learn that someone who is picky about food is not a good companion to be with. There is a difference between personal value and being picky. Some of my friends are vegetarian, so we respect their choice of life and we will go to vegetarian restaurant and have a good time together. Come on!!! We have so many other days to enjoy non vegetarian meals! However there are some people whom we take to a good place for Soto or Indonesian yellow soup (that we know they like) and still unable to satisfy them, throwing out comment like "Prawn Soto is not good, chicken and beef Soto are more common" (with the unsatisfied "face"), "I do not like this", "I am always picky." GOSH! ?

I WANT TO communicate kindly to others. When we are happy about something it is easy to praise (although some people still find it difficult to say the kind words and always find a way to put down others, I DO NOT WANT to be that type of person), what more difficult is when we are in disagreement or unhappy about things. However, I have seen people who can manage those kind words even when we know from their face that they just try to be appreciative and do not want to discourage us. Towards these group of people, it always encourages me to do better for them. My dad is a good example. For Conventional Older Chinese Folks, Pizza may not always be their favorite. Given the option, they might prefer those comfort food like Chinese noodle, dumpling, Nasi Padang etc. Once, my sis and I took our parents to the Pizza Restaurant. They finish all the food, no waste, but we can tell that dad is not a fan of Pizza. However, when asked, he will say "It's good." Know him well we asked "Wanton Noodle is better than Pizza, isn't it?" He smiled and nodded. We know what to do next. However, from time to time we always try to share with them the food that we like, such as: Japanese Sushi, Korean food, or whatever available in town. There are times that they can't stop telling us that the food is good and of course it is all over their face and will gladly order much more for them! That is so rewarding.

Most WOMAN do this from time to time; We keep quiet and hope for people around to 'get' the unhappy vibe that we sent out and hoping for others to understand and be emphatic towards us. Most of the time others do not get what we are trying to convey in that "sour-y" face. I learnt this for the past few weeks and find that irritating. Thus, I DO NOT WANT to be that kind of person. I will say what I want and not want, again kindly! However, I really have to be thankful of my partner and family that they have been so patient towards me. I have to thank the person who have shown this irritating behavior ALL the time too. The person has made me realize of WHAT NOT to be.

Lastly, about being thrifty and a penny-pincher. I have seen my mom saves from nothing until she and dad can finally give the family a comfortable life, good education to their children (something they do not have before), and a decent roof above the family's head. I do not understand why she did that before. Growing up, I had lots of want as part of peer pressure. Branded stuff in small kampung is only in the level of "Adidas", "Nike" and friends, never to the extend of "LV", "Chanel" and friends. But at times, although I know we can afford it, my mom still didn't always grant my wish, most of the time the reason is that because I had already had an existing that still works just fine. Now, I know why. It is not about being a penny-pincher, but it is about prioritizing what is important. For them, when it comes to learning, my parents had never said no. I attended Sempoa class, Piano class, Mandarin Class, English Class, Taekwando, and all other classes that our small town can offer. It was always a YES! from them. When they struggle to afford my education (for some it is not much money), they sell their comfortable air-conditioned car to send me to school that give me bigger opportunity to see the world with a much more open minded attitude.

Lastly about being thrifty and being a penny-pincher. For me, "no food go to waste" discipline is not about being a cheapskate. I do it because I think about those people who has nothing to eat. So for me, now that I have something to fill the stomach, I want to be grateful about it, appreciate it. Of course, I do it whenever I can. When I can't, I won't. There was one time, that I left the food that I had cooked and the rat which is up for ANYTHING came and had it tasted before the human did. I have to throw it all away, because I know rats are dirty and I do not want to risk being ill by sharing food with them. However, whenever I cooked more than we need in one meal, it is normally because I can keep it and eat it the next day and I WILL eat it. So, it has nothing to do with being a penny-pincher and I do not appreciate people throwing my food away.

Oh yeah, it is not easy to plan perfectly to avoid food that ends up in the dustbin. But it is much more difficult when you have to keep throwing food away everyday. I would rather put my head into the planning of how much should I cook than being an 'efficient' person that throws food away, because that is EASY!

Please also differentiate people who are being Thrifty and Prudent to those who are a penny-pincher to the extend that know only to take advantage of others.

Oh yeah, I am now careful about spending because I want to create a comfortable life for our little family in the future. But I have never take advantage of others, never want to! I know how hard my partner works super hard and I appreciate it by saving it so that at the end of the year we can travel and enjoy ourselves, by the right time come, we can also to start a family for real comfortably without relying on others. I do not see the need to compete with others let alone impress others and no one can make me do it. I have seen my family and friends who really have something are normally humble and do not boast. And I have seen those who boast actually are empty inside, and they can only fool the fools. Opps! I am not joining the club!

Sorry for the ranting... For the past two weeks, I have been made realize of how I want to be and how I don't want to be as a human being. Phew~