Friday, January 11, 2019

2018 - A Year of Strength & Love

My last post was about a year ago. I have too many social media to maintain. Not necessarily mine. It was one of the work I do now. So I really find no time to maintain this one.

Anyway, some important moments are recorded in Instagram, so that one day I can look back and be reminded on that particular day, special and important days.

2018 has been challenging for Henki and I. But I would say we come out of it stronger than ever.


March, Snorkeling under the Majestic Mt Agung 
It was a life changing year to both of us. I can't even judge for myself how it really had been.
So we are starting the Jan 1, 2018 in Japan. In Shibuya to be exact. That night no fancy dinner, we had had almost 8 days of Japanese meals by then and we finally found ourselves inside McDonalds, eating its burger, facing the window, looking out to the Tokyo street. Nothing sorry about it. It was quite a good meal. And a memorable one. We even thought about having McD again in Bali last 31st Dec 2018. :p



Going Back to Routines
We went back to our routines. Henki at his (old) office, swamped with works and tackled it well there but always drained coming back home. I (master) juggling in between "Office" works and housework. Enjoy both and am getting much better at both now.

Proudest Ama

We did our trip to our hometown for CNY. I spent longer time with Grandma and decision that I made scarifying all the meet up with friends in Medan, but will do it all over again. Because that was my last time holding her hands, sitting on the floor beside her bed, accompanying her sleeping, while I did my work on my computer. Helping so little to ease her suffering from lost eyesight and movement ability. She passed away in June 24, 2018. I didn't make it home for her funeral. I cried my heart out every single day until her funeral day, but no regret at all. Because when she lived, I have been there, as much as I could, as a married granddaughter should be, be in service to my own family like she always did and I know she understood.

About a month before that Henki has lost her a po too. I had never gotten the chance to meet her. We lost both our last grandmas.

Then the new routine...
Life was as normal as it can be until one day in May, Henki came back home late, looking sad and never to return to his (old) office for a real work anymore. He resigned, decided to reject all the offer that the company tries to give him. Just like that the year that he thought his team will bring the company to achieve its budget, Gone! His team threw a  farewell dinner for him. The team that he is super proud of, not only for the job well done, but for all the goodness in each one of them that he can now call friends. When it is official, I cried, angry, not sad. As I think he deserved better. He stayed strong, at first.

From here I learnt, Good? Bad? Who knows... Life keeps moving forward. We learnt so much during the 7 months he was home with me. I hope the lesson stayed with us, forever, because it is so valuable. Looking back, I don't see it as a total bad thing, I have never lost my pride in him, nor respect. Of course there are times when it was super hard, when I was tired, hormonal changes in certain period of the months, but we got through it, loving more than ever. I think.


He got the chance to rest after a long 5 years working like a cow and a horse (... as the Chinese saying) for someone and an institution that I have long thought do not deserve him. In between my feeling of insecurity at first, I find peace and I find so much strength in me. I am my parent's daughter. No Doubt!

Life Changing Moment
If that was not life changing enough, we encounter another life changing moments in the last quarter of our 2018. Only those who love us enough know how we struggle through it. You who do not know, might not strong enough to handle this news. =p As usual, I don't stay long dwelling in misery. My reaction is always stronger than Henki, but I recover much faster too. Henki recovers from this too, eventually. We would like to thank all the people who stay loving us during the hardship and shines the lights at the end of the tunnel in driving us out of the darkness. It was not God. It is those People who has Godly characters in them. Who loves us as we are. They are family, they are some great friends.


Christmas Breakfast 2018

To say that those are life changing moments, I also would like to be reminded that life is always changing, no matter how small no matter how big the event is. 2018 has not been easy, but again as Ajahn Brahm said "Pushing the wheelbarrow is easy, Thinking about it is the hard part." This year I put that into use so more than ever, never losing sleep to worry, but to excitements towards ideas and of course some back and body ache because of hormonal change during the menstruation period. Blah!

To Summarize 2018, I felt loved than ever (not that I was not loved before, I have never lacked of love, NEVER, so full of it!!!) But this year, I have seen how our families and close friends been there always for us. And I have been proud to both of us.



Henki has started new challenge and I am sure he will conquer it, like he always does.
I, just living my life. Super busy and in need of vacation (going to get it in Feb) and grateful of all the opportunities offered this year and still coming as the 8 changes to 9.



Both of us are not religious, spiritual in some ways, but this year a few quotes had made the journey much easier for me, hope it will for you too:

- "Good? Bad? Who Know."
- "The devil says 'I kill just one. Fear kills thousands.' Fear NOT!
- "Know your worth and others' too..." You are not more and you are not less. Be respectful.

My dad and mom have super wisdom too for their almost 140 living years, combined, They said: "Human will not always be on top, there will be the time that we are low at the bottom. Don't have to stress it out. Have to keep being happy." So much love.

I hope you all will have a wonderful 2019, like I believe we will~

Til another new year?! =D

#2018to2019