My Best Teachers of Life!

 

I am counting down to the day that I am gonna move town (Again). Every moves I made since I left my little hometown, Air Joman, it has always been for a good reason. To Medan for college, to Kuala Lumpur for University, to Singapore for good work experience, to Medan to recover and be close to family, to Bali (next) to have little family of my own with my other half.

So it is a month to that big Day. Mom and Dad are two people that are the happiest for me, I believe. I can see in their excitement in preparing things. I can see how proud they are when they announce it to family and friends that their little daughter is going to have family of her own to take care of soon. Mom especially is anxious for me. She knows how stubborn I am, she too understands that no one will be able to tolerate me as well as them, so she, whenever she can, will give me many advices. None of them are beautiful quotes but all of them are kind.

However among all, during the preparation to the big day, I am so proud of them because I get to know how big their hearts have been as parents.  They respect what I want and do not force me on what they wish to have. As they have always been, they trust me enough to take care of things on my own. Giving input, never to force! I have seen them give in, whenever possible, the beliefs that they have had for as long as they live, because they want to ease the whole process for me. For this, I can’t thank them enough!  

In this happy moment, I too can’t help to feel that sad feeling that I am not gonna be able to serve them as I want to in the future! Some said those little things are what matters at the end, and there are many little things that I will not be able to do for them anymore, once I move. I am heart-broken!

I know no one is going to take away my status as their daughter, not even my future husband. However, things will just change for them.

Dad just said to me and my sis yesterday that every time mom is coming to Medan, she will go around the ‘kampung’ to find us chicken (literally). It may sound silly for some people, however, we know that chickens from the village which are not ‘mass-produced’ has the best quality. My sis and I appreciate that a lot from my mom.  No matter how tired she is, how busy she is, our priority has always come first! It is like caring for her family is the greatest joy for her in this life.

So, It hit me a few days ago when she was tidying the kitchen and mentioned about not having to prepare a feast for the upcoming Chinese new year, because my sis and me will not be around to have that so called family reunion dinner next year.  Our conversation stopped there because her words were blocked for holding back tears and I have nothing comforting to say to her. I am the worst! After more than 30 years of tradition for having reunion dinner, next year they will have to start doing the sa cap me (除夕) dinner only by themselves. I can feel how lonely it must be.

Dad is simple. He said his thought. As we gathered around, mom, dad and I, sis and her 2 kids, dad said “I feel very happy that we can do things like this.” (Which means do nothing and just be together). No one responded, because, there is no best response that we can give to that simple statement.

I will never have a better family than what I have already had now. I hardly mentioned about my sister, but she is the best sis that I will ever have. She has many flaws, tonnes of them! But all those flaws are gone once I think about how kind she is as a sister. She is a total opposite from me. I am the kind who get things done, she is a perfect procrastinator. I am the kind who say my mind, she is super kind with words! She, as a daughter and sister, is a total giver! What she wants to do for me, dad and mom is give, give, give, give and give! She hardly takes! When she takes, she doesn’t take more than she has given. In this world, not many people can do this, not even siblings! So I know how fortunate I am to have her.

I can feel how each and every one of us trying to make full use of our time to do things for each other. We are trapped in the total opposite feelings of happiness and unwillingness to let go now.

I super love this family. Thank you for showing me what sacrifice looks like, what forgiveness is, how soft human’s heart should be, how hard can one be when needed and among all, what love feels like!