Being Competitive

Now I know why that despite the busy working life I am living now, I feel that there is something missing. I realize I am a person who is always in search of something new to challange myself. In short, I am competitive.

I like it when there is score to everything we do (I also realize there are things that we are unable to measure). The sole reason is so that I know whether I have done very well and can move on or I should try harder to make things better. What does good or bad mean? It's relative, it's subjective. People may say I have done a good job, as long as I do not satisfy with it, it's really nothing. On the other hand, when people do not appreciate what I do, I want to know if they can have done better. If they don't, just shut up!

All the while, during our school time, we had always received our report to say how we rank in the class or compare to students in the same batch. After receiving the report, I only felt 2 things:

- Great! I have done my best and I deserve this... NO matter what the result is

- Good... I have done my best and I know I can do better than this next time... and I work on it...

That makes me miss school badly~

Be More Human

My childhood, my savior, my everything

I had been absent for sometime from my blog. I have a lot going on but nothing to write or I don't make the effort to find time to pen them down....

Just back from the trip home, frankly speaking, instead of relaxing, it's a bit tiring. Why?

1) I don't have a proper place to sleep when I am in Medan (My parents' now house is in renovation... and I will have my very own room in my very own house for the first time. Don't ask!)

2) I had so many aunties and uncles whom I need to visit. Half of my time are spent with them I think...

3) Travelling by train is really NO FUN! I spent a total of 10 hours in my trip, Medan-Kisaran-Medan

4) When I am home, there were 2 days of blackout! Indonesia may be one of the most environmental friendly country. We celebrate earth hours more often thatn anyone else... With no electricity, it was darn Hot that I need to fan myself to sleep.

5) Last saddest thing is that My niece was not feeling well... Poor girl...

Anyway, I am glad that I spent my week this year absolutely doing nothing important (BUT very important that I was doing it).

1) More or less, I had been influenced by the lifestyle in Singapore, where everyone is very competitive and where everything is so systematic. We rely more to machines than the human who operates it, because we know human make mistake and we can't afford mistake. I would like to say that I was tested in my few days there. I realize I am so selfish. I saw my mom started small talk with strangers on the train, I was worried that they will get irritated by this total stranger, but at the end my mom got a positive response from them. I learnt that it's how human to human interaction should be. In Singapore, we all listen to our own music, busy checking our phone, reading and sleep when we are on the train. We do not know our neighbors, we basically do not interact if we do not have to. Gosh~

2) ALL my uncles, aunties, grandma and cousins treated me SUPER well. Without me asking, they bought me food that I love, they prepare the homecook meals that I could not find in Singapore, they tried very very hard to fulfill my wishes. I LOVE YOU ALL.

3) This is my first time 'meeting' my nephew, Sean Richie Wong. He is just adorable. He stays so calm despite her naughty sister who keeps on bullying him. I thought it's affection more than anything else. Hang on there, young boy! Make your mommy proud of you~

4) Most importantly, I am glad that I spent more time at home ('more' as in more than 7 days a year, like I had always done). Nothing has changed at home, except that I can feel that mom and dad are not young anymore. I want to do more things that will make them proud, proud and proud. Of course, when we say home, Joy, my little doggy counts! She did not bark at me at all.. Good girl~

5) You know what... this trip I found the absolute reason for my health problem. I admit that I am stressed living in Singapore. I could not single out a reason, it could it be the working pressure, the uneasy feeling, the nervousness that I had always had here because I need to make sure everything goes right (again, because I can't afford mistake), I don't know... I was so healthy back home. The moment that I was on the plane, I didn't feel that sourness in my tummy, and I feel refreshed. I can sleep even when I drank tea at night. WHY?

All in all, the trip was tiring, but it's a reminder for me to be more Human. I am glad that I made the trip home~