Friendship

 



There are so many types of friendship, I think... We have friends from our school days whom we may or may not be in touch with anymore, but when you see them you say "hi", "how are you' and things like that. There are friends we made during our college time, when we have been considered as a grown-up, the things that we do together are slightly different, more parties than before and when we graduated, from times to times we get invitation to their marriage, to their child's first birthday and so on. Then there are those we met during our working life, which sometimes can be the best type of friend that you can make or the worst.

 

I have a friend that I have known for 15-16 years. Our friendship isn't crazy and full of exciting story. Our life has always been ordinary. But what I am grateful about is that I have someone that kind enough to tell me what's right and what's wrong. Remind me when I am not walking in the right path. Be there when I am limping. Never judge. Her life is good, blessed, happy, but I don't envy her. I am happy for her. That's a huge difference in it.

 

When we grow up, life doesn't get any easier. That's why in Buddhism, the right teaching says that never seek happiness in the future. Live now! Ajahn Brahm will joke that in every stage of our life we suffer. When we are little, we can't speak our mind yet, that's the kind of suffering that babies experiences, when we are teenagers, we get rebellious, our surroundings seem not in sync with us, that's another stage of suffering, when you are an adult, we get irritating questions like "have you got a girl/boyfriend?", "when are you getting married?", "Have you got a baby?", yeah... all kind of sufferings =p And in every step of my life, apart from the supporting family, I have a few friends that I treasure much!

 

I don't know how we manage to take this so far, and with each passing day, it's not getting stale. It's always the same, there is always the feeling of grateful after each meeting, grateful to have them, before, grateful to have them now, and hopefully in the future. I believe like all relationship, our feeling in this friendship is mutual (we can't make it if it's one sided), we give our best, our sincerity to one another, and be sensible. And that make it so valuable, priceless.

 

Cheers to Friendship! :)

 

Grateful Me,

Lin ^ ^

 

Mom

I once read a writer saying that he writes well not because he is better than others but because he feels more than others. One of an example, how hardship in life, brings the more beautiful things that we could witness, read this article, a man recreates photos with daughter after losing his wife.

 

Anyway, there is little things to do with what am about to write. That was just a random thought. :p

 

My parents have my sister and me. I have them, people who I treasure, for the past 27 years and their worth is getting bigger with days. Recently, I was in an argument with an aunt, who insisted that when a woman is married to someone, she should put the husband's family above anything else. I am definitely not all in for this thing. For me, if someone wants respect, they got to earn it. Moreover, both families should be equally important. They worth the same! My mom was there, didn't utter anything. Then, about a month ago, we attended a wedding reception. The MC was saying something that rhymes in Chinese, it was saying something like: A girl is like a 'princess' in her house, while she is married ('out'), she is the 'xiao' xi fu (literally translated as 'small' in law).

Then out of no where, my mom was saying: "Hear that? when you are in someone else's family you are the 'xiao' xi fu." On a split second, I was thinking that it's unexpected from her. She has been one of the tough lady that I ever know, I would expect her to be a type of person who demands for equality between woman and man. She works as hard as my dad! For her, girls don't belong only in the kitchen. In her time, that's something rare. One day I am going to write about her story, how she wanted so bad to go for higher education (equal to the current junior high school), but given no chance.

Anyway, I think about it from time to time for the past few weeks, then I realize the difference between my mom and me. She is selfless. She still holds the Chinese culture well, in a good way, moderate amount! She wants the best out of us, her daughters, be respected and loved by someone, yet she knows well that we are responsible to make that happen. We cannot be the common 'contemporary-daughter-in-law'. We should realize how the daughter in law now differ from the one from the 70s'.

Now do you know why I love my parents so much? They do not even have the bachelor degree that's said to be the key to success nowadays, but they live just fine, they live good, even a whole lot better than some of us! Lesson learned, Mom~

One last thing I would like to remember, last week during our conversation, she said: "Your dad loves his wife and children well..." I am so blessed to be in this family.

I love you so much, Mom~

 

Happy 2014 \(^0^)/

Here we are… If lucky enough, we are given full 12 months, 365 days, 8760 hours in 2014. What are we going to do with that? First, would like to wish everyone a happier New Year. Life has always been good to me and I can’t be more grateful. I hope it will continue on that way, and most importantly I would like to be better and kinder to myself too. That’s the goal this year! “Love me more, love myself more”

As usual, here are a few goals to work on:

1. Reduce my coffee consumption to thrice a week max. Wish me luck on this, I have been addicted to coffee lately and anything that causes addiction isn’t good.

2. Having a better sleep pattern, must sleep before 12 mid night! Seems easy but it’s really not for me. Fighting!

3. Reading! Apart from the usual novel that I read, I would like to improve myself with more educative books, a heavier reading material. The brain of mine may not be so empty, but it can be better too. As the saying goes, we die when we stop learning. I would like to keep myself alive as much as possible. That’s me being kind to myself.

4. Work smarter. Last year, the working schedule has been too hectic. Long working hours which is not necessarily efficient. I would like to award myself a day off, when the new semester begins in July. I pray hard that I can find a good teaching assistant too this year. The goal is

a. With the help of an assistant by mid of the year, I will target for 60% growth from 2013

b. Without the help of an assistant, I would like to target for a 20% growth

5. Writing – Long term goal, but I really would like to make this happen in this lifetime. It’s not necessarily money making, it’s just something that I have always loved to do. Reading works of others have inspired me, make me rich, and I would like to contribute in the same way to others. I really am… Pray and work hard!

6. Travelling is one of the things that will never been left out. I have financial goal to achieve too but I also don’t want to lose out the opportunity in making a life in the midst of making a living. This year, there maybe a few short trips that I would like to make, Malaysia for motoGP, Singapore to catch up with good friends and dental visit and one trip with dad and mom to an unconfirmed destination. That’s the minimum that I would like to have this year.

7. Braces off this year, before mid year!!! Be discipline in taking care of the result that is achieved after a 4-years-of-suffering! Brush well and twice a year visit to the dentist.

8. In walking the path of long distance relationship, I just want myself to be tougher, to have faith, trust and hope that things work fine between us. It’s been just over 3 months and I have experienced a few break down, couldn’t control the emotion, couldn’t be the support that I am expected to be. We have an unknown time period to just go with it, thus, being strong is the only option. Never know what will happen, in the mean time, we hope it will work out fine at the end.

9. This is the least important, yet, I would like to put it in. I haven’t been really buying myself ‘gadget’ for the past 2 years, instead I spent it on experience. That’s very fulfilling and I am happy with that. However, there is some ‘human’ part in me that really would like to get a hold of a new iPhone. =p

That’s pretty much of everything. And as how a prayer should go, we give thanks to what we have, so I would like to thank for the family that I have, good life that I am living, good friends that always there to support me, good partner that is good in his own way and the strangers that have sometimes there to show me how simple and beautiful life can be. Then I end it with the hope that things can go well, people can be happier and of course above all wishing everyone a true wealth in this world, health!

Happy New Year 2014~

Less than 3,

Lin ^ ^



14 Sept 2013

I have no clue how things are going to turn out. Of course, we determine to do our best, not only hoping. We comfort ourselves that things are going to be alright. Yet, as usual, I tend to be the ‘worrier’.

 

I hate myself for being weak when it’s time to be tough. I hate myself to be so emotional and I hate myself even more to make him worry.

 

I know it best that we just need to get used to things, that we are now on 2  different islands and we are on our own. However, I can’t help myself being so touchy every time that I remember those small little things like eating rujak during the weekend, ‘accompanying’ him watching motoGP (annoying him with the same question over and over again), touching back of his head when he drove me around, him playing song with his guitar, OMG... now I know how habit can torture us sometimes.

 

People around me don’t help much, even my little nephew. He likes him so much, sometimes he can call out “Shu shu” out of the blue. My niece asked me “Shu shu ne?” OMG OMG OMG!

 

I can only learn to live with that by keeping myself busy with work (overwhelming) and new activities.

 

I miss you much, Baby~

 

Time out

There is always time of the month that I am feeling extraordinary low that I just want everything to end and then am hoping I can restart it all over again, playing the good part only. I realize how unhealthy the feeling is. Is it the hormone? Is it just the drama queen in me? Is it the children (who even though cute, but can be energy consuming at times)? Or is there a problem denied that needs a solution badly? I don’t know.... 

 

Feeling so low now, even though I am having my break.  It’s not really a relaxing break that I am having now. In fact, it’s a bit hectic, like how J City has always been.

 

I need a long time-out! Can I get that? And will I be okay after that?

 

Can someone help to brighten up my days? Make it a bit more eventful (in a good way, of course)? Or.... does it really all up to me? If it is, what’s the purpose of having people around us? That’s silly.

 

*Crumpled thought – just feeling to write it down.

 

 

 

24 July 2013

 

This post is dedicated to someone I care for.

 

I don't ask for anything fancy. I just want us to keep the love, have faith, work hard and giving our best in everything we do, give hope for a better future and just be there.

 

I am sorry for being stubborn, that has been my middle name all this while, which I know one day I would need to work on, and that one day maybe now.

 

I am sorry for caring too much, that's in my zodiac, when an Aquarius cares, they care too much, when they don't, they don't give a damn. There is nothing in the middle.

 

I am sorry for always having serious talk from time to time, that's just me being me, I want things crystal clear, so I said what I think, what concerns both of us and sometimes it may not always the sweet mushy things.

 

I am sorry for bad choices made at times. Things may seem small to you, but one day if I 'accidently' pick the ugliest tie (those with polkadot pattern??), would you wear that in front of me, just to make me happy, and then find another good timing to tell me, nicely of course, that maybe something with no pattern work best in all occasions. Then... I would slowly learn.

 

I am sorry for being too 'aggressive' sometimes. That's my principle of life. I have always been fighting all my life. For what's mine, for what I think is right, for people I love, and most of the time to prove some people that they are wrong. Sure, that there are those times when I am proven wrong for doing so. Yet, if I don't stand up for myself, nobody will do that for me. That's just an instinct.

 

Above all, I thank you for being around all those times, through the good and the bad.

 

For more years to come, I hope~

 

Love you, baby~

 

The past 7 months in 2013

 

7 months have almost passed in 2013, what have we achieved and what have we not started? We still have another 5 months to catch up what we are supposed to finish/start doing in 2013.

Goals are set in early 2013, and here are things that are ‘in track’:

1. Teaching: started early than what I expected. J Have been teaching for 5 months now (since March 2013), extremely short but eventful J Can be tiring (on Thursdays I teach for 11 hours), but the schedule was really up to me to decide (on Fridays I teach for 2 hours only J )

 

2. Parents’ blessing: Yes, we got it! He said: “As long as we do it right, they will approve.” That’s the very first baby step, we have long way to go, with ‘opportunities’ that we can’t afford to miss, our future is still a mystery. I would like to keep my faith, be positive!

 

3. Reading: Have been reading a few books, 8 books should not be a problem this year. 3 out of 5 books are religious books by Ajahn Brahm, then The Litigators by John Grisham and Time Keeper by Mitch Albom. Another 3 to go and I would have achieved the goal J Moreover, I have a very good history ‘teacher’ now, who always explains to me about the things that I had no interest to know back then, when I was in high school. He did better than my history teacher. It’s a compliment, old man.

 

4. More time with family: I think I did just fine. I realize living alone out there make me a bit selfish. Here I learnt how can some people put others first, because they are important, because they are our family, because they are people whom we love. 

 

5. Travelling: I don’t know if last April trip to Jakarta counts, but if that does not I have tickets for October trip with family, September for a function in Jakarta, and lastly, should be travelling in November again, locally. J  Nothing grand, but I am grateful!    

Something that I need to work on:

 

1. Writing: Have been typing on computer quite a lot, but not writing on anything particular, it’s preparing the materials for kids. I had an idea of a book (believe it or not! Talk to a publisher, and they were actually interested, but gotta put it ‘on hold’, as I am overwhelmed with the overall teaching routine.) Anyway, I’ll always keep this in mind, and it’s gonna happen in this life time! :)

2. Exercising: This always has been the most difficult one. Decided to do yoga! When I was eager to start, some issues with the new yoga centre. Pending... Then June was not an easy month, so busy fixing thing. July here it is... I just ‘rolled down’ staircase and it’s a bit painful L COME ON! I have August, September, October, November, and December to do something about this and get fit!!! The most difficult resolutions for the past 5 years??? Aww

Well Wishes,
Lin ^ ^

Teaching

 

I have never thought that I would consider teaching seriously. It started when I was in senior high school (about 10 years ago), I taught 4 or 5 kids from my neighbourhood. Initially, it was just an extra income that I could save in my piggybank.  
 

Then when I moved to Medan for further study, I taught privately and in tuition centre. Again, it’s just fully utilizing my time and earning something for myself.

 

 

I have forgotten about teaching for 5 years or more. Pursuing my study overseas, working in Singapore, enjoying what I was doing, until I decided to resign and come back to homeland. I was not planning on anything specific, then working in corporate setting in Medan for a super short time, and suddenly was boarding the plane to China.

 

I can say Beijing was the break that I need. I was super healthy there, mentally. J (Physically, I needed 2 months to adjust to the super dry weather, which my throat and lung resisted) I was spending my own money on the things that I had dreamed for since 9 years ago. That feels just GREAT!

 

I am thankful that luck has always with me, no matter how things turn out, I know that I have given my best. Have been teaching for 4 months now, and there are so many fun things happen everyday.  

 

 

Sharing something fun for the last four months:

Note: Him & Her refer to my students.

 

1) Him: “Miss, do you teach senior high school students?” | Me: “Yes, Why?” | Him: “Okay, I will still be taking classes with you ‘til then” - he is only in Primary, 4th grade. Long way to go, James :)
2) Her: “Miss, do you want to listen to my singing?” | Him: “You should listen, she composed it herself. It’s good when you listen to it more” | Me: “Okay then” | She then started singing - she may not be extremely good academically, but she is good in art.

3) Me: “Is the shirt new?” | Her: “niu = cow” | she is 2.5 years old and taking Mandarin class with me

4) Show a monkey doll to 3 years old kids who can't speak clearly yet. | Her: "u u a a" - She was imitating the sound made by the monkeys in cartoon that she watched.

5) Me: “What does 'Big' mean?” | Him: “Babi” (Babi = Pig in Bahasa Indonesia) | Her: “He did it on purpose. | Me: “I won’t let you go home until you can answer correctly. Big means?” | Him: “Besar” - Attention seeker, Vincent.

 

 

Something that makes me proud:

1)      A boy ranks 43 / 46 students. In the report book, I can see that English is the only subject which he gets 100 points.

2)      A girl makes me so worried; at the end he gets 81 and 90 for Mandarin and English exams, respectively. They are above what I expected from her.

3)      A student’s mom wants to increase the number of meetings for her daughter, as in 3 months she sees improvements in her daughter’s mandarin. (Another reason is that no one can entertain her daughter when she speaks mandarin at home)  

 

 

They all make me happy in the way that other things can't. They are my dreams. They are young people who have the role in supporting me realizing my dream, bigger one.

 

Don't grow up too fast, kids :)

 

Proud Teacher,

Linda Tan

 

Last update: May 2013

OMG... It's not as easy as I thought just to keep up 2 blog posts a month. Things have been going crazy...

I am not in perfect health now, but sure I am recovering. It may be due to the 'unhealthy' food intake and the crazy weather. It's super hot, I bet not only in Medan but as well as in neighboring country;. *trusted source. :)

Coughing has come more often, is it because of the cough that I was having when I was in China? The pollution? Or it's just me talking too much to my students? Or... Is it being transferred from my students whose coughing come and go more often than other people whom I have ever met in my life. Hope everything is alright. 

Anyway, May is not great as I would like it to be, but for sure, am enjoying life. Have been teaching for 3 months, and I am happy that everything is developing in a good pace. Thinking ways to expand what am doing now. Looking for an assistant to standby so that I can take more students. Currently, I just cannot handle more than 5 students in one session. Too overwhelm and not effective for the kids. I want to give my best, and am sure I will find way! As always. 

Apart from that my daily activities would be preparing teaching materials, teach, preparing materials, preparing materials, teach, teach, house chores, and that would be it. It looks like nothing, but am dead tired. 

Shocking news from a friend who had just lost his father to hard attack :( My deepest condolences. It teaches us all one thing, appreciate the current moment that you have, love the people who love you, respect the people who should be respected, do goods, and enjoy life. There is only one thing certain in this life, it's uncertainty. 

Currently am blogging from one of the classroom in ICM, this would be my last 2 classes with the kids who major in hospitality. Time flies! I hope all the best for all of us. Friends, take care of your health, it is more important than your job! Don't trust me, just prove it yourself :)

Their Story of Life

 

Was watching a ‘reality show’ where the program captured the life of the unfortunate people in Indonesia. The show called “Orang Pinggiran”. I don’t know how true the content of the show is, but I believe they exist. The one thing that it teaches me is to be grateful.

 

Yesterday was about an old man who lived with his wife and a middle school age daughter. The old man main job is extracting rubber from the wild trees in the jungle. Everyday he needs to walk a total of 5 km to reach the middle of the jungle (10 km return ways) where trees that have become his main source of living exist.

 

The rubber can only be sold if he has collected 1 kg or above. He needs a week to collect a kilo weight rubber. Do you know how much it is sold? IDR60,000/kg. I could not imagine how can they survive with a total of IDR240,000 a month for a 3 persons household?

 

Sometimes, we spend IDR 60,000 for a meal; while some people like them need to survive for a week with the same amount of money, again a 3 person’s household! L

 

Have we thanked our life?