2018 - A Year of Strength & Love

My last post was about a year ago. I have too many social media to maintain. Not necessarily mine. It was one of the work I do now. So I really find no time to maintain this one.

Anyway, some important moments are recorded in Instagram, so that one day I can look back and be reminded on that particular day, special and important days.

2018 has been challenging for Henki and I. But I would say we come out of it stronger than ever.

March, Snorkeling under the Majestic Mt Agung 

It was a life changing year to both of us. I can't even judge for myself how it really had been.
So we are starting the Jan 1, 2018 in Japan. In Shibuya to be exact. That night no fancy dinner, we had had almost 8 days of Japanese meals by then and we finally found ourselves inside McDonalds, eating its burger, facing the window, looking out to the Tokyo street. Nothing sorry about it. It was quite a good meal. And a memorable one. We even thought about having McD again in Bali last 31st Dec 2018. :p

Going Back to Routines
We went back to our routines. Henki at his (old) office, swamped with works and tackled it well there but always drained coming back home. I (master) juggling in between "Office" works and housework. Enjoy both and am getting much better at both now.

Proudest Ama

We did our trip to our hometown for CNY. I spent longer time with Grandma and decision that I made scarifying all the meet up with friends in Medan, but will do it all over again. Because that was my last time holding her hands, sitting on the floor beside her bed, accompanying her sleeping, while I did my work on my computer. Helping so little to ease her suffering from lost eyesight and movement ability. She passed away in June 24, 2018. I didn't make it home for her funeral. I cried my heart out every single day until her funeral day, but no regret at all. Because when she lived, I have been there, as much as I could, as a married granddaughter should be, be in service to my own family like she always did and I know she understood.

About a month before that Henki has lost her a po too. I had never gotten the chance to meet her. We lost both our last grandmas.

Then the new routine...
Life was as normal as it can be until one day in May, Henki came back home late, looking sad and never to return to his (old) office for a real work anymore. He resigned, decided to reject all the offer that the company tries to give him. Just like that the year that he thought his team will bring the company to achieve its budget, Gone! His team threw a  farewell dinner for him. The team that he is super proud of, not only for the job well done, but for all the goodness in each one of them that he can now call friends. When it is official, I cried, angry, not sad. As I think he deserved better. He stayed strong, at first.

From here I learnt, Good? Bad? Who knows... Life keeps moving forward. We learnt so much during the 7 months he was home with me. I hope the lesson stayed with us, forever, because it is so valuable. Looking back, I don't see it as a total bad thing, I have never lost my pride in him, nor respect. Of course there are times when it was super hard, when I was tired, hormonal changes in certain period of the months, but we got through it, loving more than ever. I think.

He got the chance to rest after a long 5 years working like a cow and a horse (... as the Chinese saying) for someone and an institution that I have long thought do not deserve him. In between my feeling of insecurity at first, I find peace and I find so much strength in me. I am my parent's daughter. No Doubt!

Life Changing Moment
If that was not life changing enough, we encounter another life changing moments in the last quarter of our 2018. Only those who love us enough know how we struggle through it. You who do not know, might not strong enough to handle this news. =p As usual, I don't stay long dwelling in misery. My reaction is always stronger than Henki, but I recover much faster too. Henki recovers from this too, eventually. We would like to thank all the people who stay loving us during the hardship and shines the lights at the end of the tunnel in driving us out of the darkness. It was not God. It is those People who has Godly characters in them. Who loves us as we are. They are family, they are some great friends.

Christmas Breakfast 2018

To say that those are life changing moments, I also would like to be reminded that life is always changing, no matter how small no matter how big the event is. 2018 has not been easy, but again as Ajahn Brahm said "Pushing the wheelbarrow is easy, Thinking about it is the hard part." This year I put that into use so more than ever, never losing sleep to worry, but to excitements towards ideas and of course some back and body ache because of hormonal change during the menstruation period. Blah!

To Summarize 2018, I felt loved than ever (not that I was not loved before, I have never lacked of love, NEVER, so full of it!!!) But this year, I have seen how our families and close friends been there always for us. And I have been proud to both of us.

Henki has started new challenge and I am sure he will conquer it, like he always does.
I, just living my life. Super busy and in need of vacation (going to get it in Feb) and grateful of all the opportunities offered this year and still coming as the 8 changes to 9.

Both of us are not religious, spiritual in some ways, but this year a few quotes had made the journey much easier for me, hope it will for you too:

- "Good? Bad? Who Know."
- "The devil says 'I kill just one. Fear kills thousands.' Fear NOT!
- "Know your worth and others' too..." You are not more and you are not less. Be respectful.

My dad and mom have super wisdom too for their almost 140 living years, combined, They said: "Human will not always be on top, there will be the time that we are low at the bottom. Don't have to stress it out. Have to keep being happy." So much love.

I hope you all will have a wonderful 2019, like I believe we will~

Til another new year?! =D

#2018to2019

Pendidikan!

Happy New Year ALL!!!

Telat yah? Tahun in nothing to recap, no grand resolution, kita jalani saja yah... 

Kemarin partner ku bertanya, “Kamu rasa mana yang paling asik, Setelah pernah bekerja di dunia medis, perhotelan, spa, restoran…” Sebelum dia menyelesaian pertanyaannya, aku langsung mau menjawab “sama saja...” Tapi begitu dia berikan pilihan terakhir “dan edukasi?” Jawabanku langsung berubah. “EDUKASI!” In tidak diragukan lagi. Personally, Aku senang berinteraksi dengan anak-anak yang pada umumnya masih polos, tulus dan tidak penuh politik (walau sekarang banyak juga yang sudah ter”polusi” oleh content-content di dunia maya yang mereka tonton).

Kenapa edukasi? Banyak sekali alasannya.

Mungkin pengaruh paling besar adalah dari Orang Tua. Mama ku yang sekarang sudah berumur 67 masih juga beranggapan kalau dulunya beliau diberi  kesempatan yang sama seperti saudara-saudara laki-lakinya, beliau percaya kalau akan lebih banyak kesempatan “emas” yang mungkin akan terpapar kepada nya, again who knows apa yang bisa terjadi pada manusia kan? Tapi memang banyak kebenaran didalam “kepercayaan” itu.

Aku adalah contoh paling dekat, lahir di kampung kecil, aku bangga dan berani bilang “masa kecilku bahagia”. Waktu dengan orang tua dan kerabat dekat itu tidak pernah kurang, dari sana aku belajar tentang arti keluarga.

Aku mulai masa Taman Kanak-kanak ku karena aku minta. Moving on sekolah dasar dimulai diusia lebih muda dari teman-teman lainnya, dimana aku sempat ditolak karena usia “belum mencukupi”. Tapi orang tua yang fight agar aku bisa jadi “anak bawang” saja, akhirnya aku diterima, aku habiskan tidak memusingkan masalah pelajaran, tapi practical life skill untuk anak-anak pada umumya, misalnya bersepeda, memanjat pohon, membantu orang tua, bersosialisasi dengan teman-teman yang berbeda suku dan agama (pertama kali aku belajar untuk tidak minder walau suku minoritas), dan juga menyelesaikan masalah anak-anak pada umumnya.

Tingkat selanjutnya, sekolah menengah aku lalui di sekolah baru di kota kecil tetangga. Adaptasi pasti, tidak hanya pada tingkat pelajaran yang lebih sulit, tapi juga belajar beradaptasi pada pandangan orang-orang kota kecil ini terhadap “anak kampung”. Ini tahap kedua aku belajar “bangga” karena anak kampung tidak ‘kalah’ dengan anak-anak kota dan yang aku sering bilang ke penghina “Kenapa? Emank nya air joman berutang pada kalian?” So much pride in that rhetorical questions. Tapi disini juga aku betemu lifetime besties! Blessed~

Selanjutnya pindah ke kota besar Medan untuk jenjang pendidkan lebih tinggi, percaya atau tidak orang memandang sebelah mata karena kami “orang kota kecil”, bahasa ku memiliki aksen “kampungan”, cara berpakaian kami tidak cukup stylish. Pengaruhnya ke diriku, tidak banyak! Masa kecil yang super, loving family and friends dan focusing on doing well in education, membuat aku tidak pusing dengan  pandangan rendah orang. Peduli amat! Aku sibuk dengan hidup ku yang banyak harus ku syukuri.

Moving on to Kuala Lumpur, for a better education quality, banyak juga tantangannya. Yang tidak bisa lepas adalah saat negara lain memandang mereka lebih tinggi, itu sudah pasti. Aku sudah tanggap menghadapi masalah ini, sudah dari dulu soalnya, kalau orang kisaran memandang rendah anak kampung, orang medan memandang rendah anak kisaran, orang jakarta memandang rendah orang medan, orang Malaysia memandang rendah orang Indonesia, apa yang kamu lakukan? Peduli amat, Proof them wrong. Di masa-masa ini aku belajar rasa nasionlisme, campur aduk akan "rusak" dan "indah" nya negara kita.

Untuk pendidikan lanjut, pada saat itu memang Malaysia bukan tujuan utama, pengennya Australia, tapi karena financial status yang hanya dalam kategori “CUKUP”, I grab that opportunity. Mom and Dad had to sell our car to get me my education! Sad, but I just have to be out from Medan. Oh.. jangan salah sangka, Medanese punya banyak kelebihan, kekeluargaan adalah salah satunya, tapi layaknya manusia, Medanese juga punya kekurangan.

Ke Kuala Lumpur, travelling sendiri dengan strangers dan tidak diantar orang tua. Wah, banyak sekali air mata yang bercucuran dan lebih dari itu Courage adalah yang aku banggakan.  Keeping my eye on graduating well, 2 tahun enjoying learning dan friendships, I graduated with first degree with honour and awarded as an outstanding student untuk major kami pada saat itu. All of those things for my parents. Masa kuliah itu, susah banget, banyak kentang dan wortel yang aku konsumsi karena mau hemat. Haha… Kerja part-time di mall jual sausage berdiri 8 jam sehari. Tapi dari masa-masa itu aku belajar juga tentang rasa syukur untuk teman-teman yang membantu, yang meminjamkan laptop baru nya agar FYP ku selesai sempurna, yang meminjamkan uangnya karena kiriman ku dari orang tua belum datang, oh.. banyak tenan yang membantu. Terima kasih.

Moving to Singapore, mencari kerja. Ini juga journey yang penuh air mata. Masa aku graduate adalah masa economic downturn, 2008. Traveling to Singapore dari Malaysia dengan bus dengan seluruh barang bawaan yang berat (I wonder how I did it), tapi disana juga banyak strangers yang membantu, offering to help me carry. Cried myself to sleep and woke up focusing on using what I have learned and earned di Kisaran, di Medan, di Kuala Lumpur untuk get me a job opportunity. 3 bulan dan akhirnya I landed ditangan yang benar, company yang benar, boss yang benar dan kesempatan belajar yang benar! Disini juga aku realize my dream untuk berilmu hingga ke negri Cina. I fund myself to have a taste of China. one of the BEST time of my life!

From then on, the education continues, in the people I met, in the places I visit, in the film I watched, in the books I read, in the problems I solved, in the problem I didn't solve, in the heart break I felt, in the positive feedback I received and so on. 

Untuk diriku Pribadi, pendidikan ku starts dari rumah, dari keluarga, gimana cara respect orang tua, gimana kita sayang dengan anak-anak tanpa memanjakanya, lalu ke society, gimana berdiri kukuh tidak memandang tinggi tapi juga belajar tidak rendah diri darimana kita datangnya karena pada dasarnya manusia semua adalah sederajat, belajar kalau diatas langit masih ada langit, dan belajar seperti kata papa hidup kita adalah roda kadang diatas kadang dibawah, belajar bahwa there is so much beauty in all the struggles that we conquered, dari keadaan sulit belajar untuk tidak pahit pada kehidupan, oh.. masih panjang pelajarnnya.

Balik lagi apakah semua hardwork itu berguna sekarang? I am not even “working” now.

Pendidikan untuk aku sekarang mungkin lebih dari bangku sekolah. Yeah, those are ‘fine’ time where we would be tested untuk lihat apakah kita menyerap atau hanya going through with the motion? Tapi bangku pendidikan formal itu tidak menunjukkan jalan untuk diriku, bangku pendidikan formal kalau di jalani dengan benar, itu sparks interest, memberikan sedikit rasa untuk begitu banyak hal didunia ini. Kalau you are fortunate enough, well-educated parents might know how to guide you towards one goal and one goal only. Tapi kalau seperti orang tua ku yang tidak begitu fortunate untuk mengecap pendidikan tinggi, yang mereka pun hati yang besar dan pikiran yang terbuka, mereka open enough to let me taste what they never had. Aku tidak kalah beruntungnya, karena aku diberi kebebasan untuk memilih. Even kadang salah jalan pun, tetap aja ada mereka di belakangku, ini karena mereka tau “Pendidikan (dalam segala bentuk) itu Penting”

Where was I?

Yeah… Aku masih milih dunia pendidikan sebagai yang terbaik yang pernah aku jalanin (dan akan aku jalani lagi), for all of the benefits it has for me and will have for me in the future. I want others to have their life changed because of “positive” education experience too.

Sekarang pun, doing marketing, tujuan utama ku adalah “edukasi”. Mengedukasi customers untuk think smart, buy smart and consciously make smart purchasing decision. (Maybe, that’s why I am a bad sales person!) =D 

May you have a blessed Sunday ~

#Ocehan

Into a new place, call Home~

The past two weeks had been super crazy, both for me and Henki, for different reasons.

We had been in a new place for almost two weeks now (since the 16th of July 2017). It's a place we now call "home" with extra bedroom where we can accommodate family and friends when they are visiting. This is another hobby that I think I inherited from my family. Every Chinese new year, when all the BIG family make the trip back to hometown to visit grandma, there is never short of rooms to accommodate all of those people. House is always designed with extra bedrooms for guests! ALWAYS! I am talking about 30 people visiting for two nights. Of course it is not that luxurious stay where everyone gets a room of their own, it is more like those family stay where everyone cramp together "comfortably". Getting people to stay and "sleep" in your guestrooms is always a competition among the family. Whoever got more guests staying in their house is the "winner". Grandma who is now staying with my third uncle always win! =D

We had been planing to find a new place for a few months, but could only do the search during the weekends, when Henki is available to do other things than work. Until about 3 weeks ago, I made a few appointment by myself during the weekdays and did a viewing of a few houses by myself, taking videos recording of the place and area for Henki to see and calculate the time and distance from the house to Henki's workplace (the last thing I want is to add his exhaustion with the extra miles spent on the road getting home and going to work) Then, I found this one. I texted him "I think I have found it!" He didn't even have the chance to look at the place until the day we have to sign all the paper. It's still renting, by the way.

Never pick them from the tree. Always those which are already on the ground

So, here we are waking up to a room full of light and have been having a super good sleep, not sure it's from the exhaustion or from the different "feng shui" as they said. But yeah... Things are going well so far with the house. The owner (crossing my fingers) is quite flexible and decently nice. Hopefully it carries on til the very end of our contract here. What I love about the house is the garden. I pick up the flowers that fall to the ground everyday and use them to decorate the dining table. The dining table is not properly placed due to the design of the house, but for 2 of us, we are okay with that for now. And the good thing with its current position is that, every morning after Henki goes to work, I will just sit there alone, doing my things accompanied by the nice morning breeze and the green leaves (when we were little mom always asked us to go out and enjoy the blue sky and the green leaves, good for our eyes, she said). I do that everyday now.

"Leftover" chairs from the owner, 

Gonna add a table and it's a nice hangout place in the morning and afternoon

Our bed room is good too. I love the natural lights! Super BRIGHT from early morning to about 6PM when the sun starts to set down. However, the living room is quite hot during the mid day. The only thing that I do not like.

Most of our Lives are not perfect. My life is not!

But I would like to see the good things in each day and be grateful about it. What better right?

Henki has been super busy with work (when was the last time he didn't?). So there are times when I was talking to the people whom I am working with and mentioned about Henki's work that require him to come home late and sometimes to work even during the weekend, the first thing that they ask me is "Does he bring you along during the working weekends? If he isn't, you should be suspicious." It's so low minded. The people don't even know him. Remind myself never to assume bad about people ever again! We never know how one's life is. Take care of your own!

As of me, I would like to learn from Mom. There was one time, when I was still in college, I was always home late. My aunt is super fed up with me, not sure what I am doing out there. She had good intention, she still cared for me. So she called my mom and said all the things that might make my mom worried. Then as you expected, my mom called me. Instead of scolding me, she said to me "I told yi ma (aunt) not to worry about you. I told him that you know what you are doing. You can take care of yourself. I trust you." How WISE! How can I betray that kind of trust, not asking, just trust. I treasure it! Until now!

So now, I would like to do the same with my partner. "Baby, thank you for working so hard out there. Don't let work consume you. Take care of yourself too. Take work as a game, we put our best in it, but still sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. That's the nature of life. Quoting Ajahn Brahm, When you can't do anything, do nothing. When you know you can do something, give everything you have got! I trust you and I love you."

That's pretty much about the past month.

I can't wait for September to come! I said "Wakes me up when September starts!" :)

New Hope,

Lin ^^

Henki & Linda's Second Quarter of 2017

It's 10:56 and I have done cooking a dish for tonight, It's the Bak Kut Teh. I have also got paper marked and lunch prepared. What a productive morning. =D

Today woke up early, as Henki has officially starting his "budgeting" months, it's gonna be crazy for him for the next two to three months. Hang on, Baby! This too will pass, it always does. a minute at a time, an hour at a time, then one day at a time.

So, although I have not been writing much on this blog, the least that I could do is to keep up the quarterly "report".

Can you believe that half of 2017 is GONE! What have we used it for all this while?

 

Work
For me, the 3 months since April, nothing has happened much, as usual. My ex-colleague and now-friend had moved to Bali with her husband and her 2 year old boy. And as she finds things to "do" in Bali, we agree to start something small. If everything goes smoothly, we will start somewhere in August or September. It is something for kids, I am going back to where I started (not a bad thing). I thought I have lost the passion towards it, as I do research and read more and imagine how it will be, I actually got excited. Is it really my passion or is it just my character that got easily "excited and passionate" about almost anything that I am thrown at. Anyway, whatever it is that's just me doing the best that I can.

Company training is still on going now, the classes have gone quite well, I think. I have a bit of downtime towards the end of June as it was Lebaran and Bali is packed with people who are travelling from Java island and also it's the Australian school break. Thus, the island is crowded, so do the hotels and restaurants. And because they are understaff, the class is postponed and there I have my break.

Last month I have quit teaching the college students for various reasons, and the major one is that so that I can make time to focus on something else.

I also signed a very short contract to help a spa centre in Bali monitoring their listings on Chinese websites. Something that I can do from home, in between cooking and cleaning the house. It is only a 4 months contract, as I requested, to see if I am still into this thing. It's been almost a month. I am still  hanging on despite the very irritating issue in "accessing" the Chinese website from Indonesia as well as a bit of company politics that they share with me, that if I am given an option care not to know.

Henki's work is FOREVER busy. He is under staff. He is in charge in Sales and Marketing but he is basically the Revenue Director too. That's the problem with big company, they exploit their worker to save cost (or whatever reason they have), demands a lot and giving so little. If we were ever be a business owner (finger cross), I hope we can be a better version of "leader". *Fingercrossed. Oh yeah, I am very hopeful.

Play/Food
We don't play much. >.< However, we enjoyed one another companion most of the time. There are times that we got bored too, of course, but many-many times we don't.

Within three months we only made it once to the beach. There I lost my dearest goggles and hit quite hard by the wave. Thus, due to much rest that Henki needs after all the hardwork during the weekdays, our play is normally food. =D

There are a few memorable weekend "culinary" experience that we had. One of them is at the Tony Roma's. I intended to write about it but find no time til now. The food is excellent, no doubt, considering the price. Hahaha.. What impressed us that night is that how "passionate" the staff seems like. It was someone birthday, so I guessed the girlfriend ordered a cake, the staff, 6-8 of them came out singing the birthday song, NOT the classic birthday song, where before the song ends, the singers' voice normally getting softer and softer. Hahaha. This is their version. I can't remember the tune, but I remember the feeling that I got from that song. It's very jolly! Then, it is not only one song, before the cake "reached" the table, there was another song. And what best is that the staff wasn't only singing, but some of them are playing a simple music instruments to accompany that song too...

And that's not the only best, a staff came out with Polaroid camera and took a picture of the couple with the cake and gave them the picture. And still, that's not it, another staff came out with a deck of card and entertained the couple n their table with simple magic trick. Imagine that! If you are not anti-social, I think you will find this experience memorable.

What impress us is not the 'entertainment', but how Tony Roma's manage to hire those staff that are very skillful and talented and passionate. That's just great!

Bad Month for anything Electronic
This month was bad for our phones (both of our iPhone got into the water). Mine still functions without any "treatment", Henki's dead, so he got it fixed. Then, my laptop started to make so much sound, but still functions well. So I am backing up files on Google Drive and Henki's laptop so that whenever it is dead on me, I am ready for it. *Finger crossed. Then, the car has broken down a few times. The car was "healthy" until we decided to get it "maintained" in an independent automobile repair shop. But after the maintenance, the car broke down 3-4 times before we called the Kia service center and get the necessary fixed. The car functions well now. Ahh.. these things really get me at times. However, as all things, these too will pass. :)

Life in General
The past three months was great. Oh yeah, End of April I was down for about a week with dengue fever, but I have recovered from it. Voila! Other than that, both of us have been quite healthy and happy. I hope I speak for him too =D

Someone said to me "You look so happy in Bali". I said "I can choose to complain about all things that are not going well, things that I am disappointing at, things that I wish for and don't get and dwell in all those negativity, but I won't. I choose another way of living, to be happy."

Of course, at times I "slip" and feel miserable too, but I don't let it get too far, too long, because it doesn't do me any good. So why continue to "slip" right?

加油
Love,
Lin ^ ^

 

Henki & Linda's first quarter of 2017

Can you believe that we have almost passed the first quarter of 2017? Time flies!

Here is an update of what's happening, nothing much but everything is good.

The first month, we did a trip back to visit both sides of the families in Jakarta and in Medan. We manage to get some paper done as well for Henki in Jakarta. Then, Henki stayed about a week in Medan before flying back to Bali to catch another flight the next day to India, Business Trip. I stayed back as planned for another week and happy to be home. They are still the best! I miss them now as I am writing this. But, I gain soooo much weight. Still trying to shed some more now.

The second month, February, Henki came back from India with a fever. Even with the fever he still went to work and half day after that I had to pick him up and sent him to the hospital. He was admitted for 4 days before coming back home and start working again. And a few days later, I was having fever (scared me to death, I just don't want to relive whatever happened at the end of last year), lucky with some rest I got better in 2 days and fully recover after a week or so. I was just too exhausted running here and there when Henki was hospitalized. But we are fine now :)

This month, March, for the first time since June last year, we got into the Ocean again, Henki as usual enjoying his time swimming far away from the shore, as for me playing by the beach side. I love the beach, I am not afraid to get dark, but I am scared too at the same time, as I always think that I am not good in threading water, thus.. fear has won over me there.

As for work, This month I have full attendance in each training group that I did. That means I am healthy. Yay! I am negotiating new contract too, hopefully get it done by early or mid next month. Finger-crossed!

Henki's work is terrible. I can easily say he dedicates a total of 60 hours per week for work. Although I can see in his frustration about so much things to do and the lack of human resource, I think he enjoys his current role in sales and marketing. He told me that he is more confidence and not hesitate to meet with people and get some deals done. Again in between his frustration dealing and managing the human within, he also enjoys dealing with some business partners and customers. I am so proud of him.

Oh yeah, something small and not important, finding things to do, I just started another Instagram account (@goingplaces_101) that features all the beautiful places that I had been and those places that I will be. Digging out old photos, gosh, it brings so much good memory back.

This year, I am anticipating 4 things as of now; getting our marriage cert done (Oops! Long story), friends visit in Sept 2017, our Japan trip in Dec, and lastly have dad and mom here in Bali again, still planning for a good time.

This morning we had a 6,4 magnitude earthquake shaking right underneath this small island. Fortunately, there is no serious casualty. I would like to thank family and friends who call me to check on me and Henki. We are fine. Bali is fine.

Peace,

Linda :)

Wrapping 2016 with Gratitude

 

Time passes real quick. It feels like yesterday when I was still in my parents' home busy preparing for our wedding early this year, then moving city and in 3 days, the year of 2016 is ending.

 

As usual, wrapping each year, let's look back and see how we have grown and start another year bringing a better person and forgiving a less "good" quality behind.

 

This year is definitely an important year for me. There are many changes in life since I got married. Early this year, I wrote about 2015 in a glimpse but didn't make any personal resolution for this year, because I honestly haven't figured out things for myself since I got married. It is no longer about me, it is more about "us" (Henki & I), as Ajahn Brahm said and supported by Mom and Dad.

 

Moving to Bali is a bitter sweet experience. I am super close with my family and relatives back in Medan. The bitter part is that I am now quite far from them (I joke that Medan - Bali flight is like flying to China, it takes almost a whole day), and I miss spending weekends afternoon, playing, catching up with my sis, niece, nephew and cousins. The sweet part is that I am here in one of the heavens on earth with my other half now, sleeping better, and playing harder. Also, living further from family makes me realized how I love and I am loved by my family back home. Early this month when my dad and mom made their visit to Bali, my grandma and aunties were buying me lots of good food from Medan. Everybody was busy shopping and preparing cooked food for me and Henki. Honestly, whose relatives are still doing that??? I am blessed to be raised in this family, aren't I?

 

About Married Life

 

Being married is not the end of a "happy" story. It is just the beginning of living LIFE in a more humane way in general. It is building a family after all. Some people asked me when I am planning to start a family, referring to "having a baby". Deep in side, I tell myself that I am already starting a family, by being married.

 

Being married, I learn about so many things, I think it is the same for Henki too.

 

We have to make lots of adjustment in our life and learning (yup! still learning) to accept one another. It is putting 2 different individuals and hope they are walking towards the same destination after all. First year of marriage is not really a honeymoon period, it is a learning period (a continuous one, in fact!). Lots of respect, patience, tolerance, forgiveness (at times) and of course the "never-give-up" attitude are needed to make things work. Those things are not cliché. Those things are REAL! You have seen lots of our happy moments captured on camera, you just didn't see those nights sleeping back to back, trying hard not to touch one another. I am glad we made it through those nights, reconcile and get a better understanding (hopefully) about one another. 

 

I am proud to say that we do start this family as those in the olden days did. We experienced those shopping for household items and making a place HOME with our hard earned/saved  money, not asking from anybody else. We started from the kitchenware, dining table, bed and lastly an old secondhand car for practical purpose. Looking back, there are some "soury" feeling to not being able to buy the things that we "want", because we want to save it for something more important and matter, but most of the feeling is Pride!

 

In this case, I really look up to some family and friends who can actually afford luxurious things, but choose a simpler way of living a life, with a super generous heart to those in need and things that really matter. They are my other role models (other than my parents). I learn from them not trying so hard to impress others with what we have, but instead of what we are as a person. This life value is easier for me to practice, because I grew up in a small town where people are more sincere, although not all, than those in bigger metropolitan city. From this, I learn too not to be impressed easily by people who talk big about what they can do and what they have, because most of the time, we can see through them. 

 

From here, I learn what kind of family that we want to build and what not. If lucky to have any, what kind of values that I want to teach my children in the future. Things are not always as comfortable as what some of other newly weds have, but dad and mom started simple too and if they make it works to date, I hope Henki and I can too. I hope we started right. Bless us!

 

Carreer & Work

 

One of the biggest adjustments that I have to make is in term of work. I tried a full time job as a school teacher, teaching Mandarin. It didn't work out well for me, as I am not 100% satisfy with my working environment, so I quit. On top of that, Henki had to sacrifice his resting time (due to my early work schedule) and work longer hour. Exhausting for him. Although he didn't complain. Thanks for those one full month, Baby!

After that, I applied for a part time job, and was having the power to bargain for work schedule as much as I think I want/am capable to handle, by giving house chores, my family, as my first priority.

 

I know it might sound silly to some others, but growing up one of the most important things that MIGHT contribute to how Dad and Mom turn out to be, for me, successful parents is that they keep those values that we youngsters deem as outdated now. For example, always making the time to eat, at least, dinner in one table together, how mom no matter how busy she was with the shop, she had never neglected the needs of her children. We are always her first priority, we had always had breakfast before we go to school, she prepared our snack to be taken to school, lunch has always ready when we got home. Those motherly chores might seem 理所当然 as Chinese put it or "as it should be by right", but those things are the things that we appreciate the most now as their children.

 

Those 'outdated' things are the things that I want to keep in my own family with Henki. Just during the visit, my dad told me (he is not a kind of dad who will sit me down and tell me all kind of life lessons, but he did this time), to prepare a glass of water when your husband is home after a long day of work. A more 'modern' part of me will tell myself that is the thing that he can do on his own, but there might be certain things that need not modernization, thus, I try my best to do as dad and mom told /showed me on how to be a good wife, hoping that my current family will work out like how Dad and Mom build their home. A home where I am very proud of and can't stop to brag about!

 

So, for now, work with the sole purpose to earn is a less important thing. I work to fill up my time and to keep continue doing things that I am passionate with. However, tell you the truth some part of me do fear that my value as a person is lessen because I am not able to support myself, to shop without feeling guilty and other petty negative feelings about being too depending on someone else.  That's my sacrifice. I hope it will be worth it, as they said.

 

That's mostly about my "work", not so much a career.

 

There are more to Henki's career though.  I know only certain parts of it, but I do know he works his "b*tt" of this year. He has his heart full at work when he is at work, and sometimes even when he is home from work.

 

He does make progress in term of career advancement, and I am a proud wife. Don't argue with me, I am a true believer that hard work always pays off, one way or another.

 

He decided to take a new role in his company this year, to be out of his comfort zone, from Revenue to Sales & Marketing, and I think he does well that he was trusted with a new property to handle, starting the very end of this year.

 

I don't know much about what's going on EXACTLY in his daily work life at the office, but I hope that he will learn to take care of himself better, after the 110% that he had put in at work.

 

"What's done is finish", said Ajahn Brahm

 

I kind of understand how he felt about "unfinished" work, but work will never finish, there are always things to do, if you do not want to stop at just being good or enough, things can always be better. However, that's a worry for another day. At the end of the day, our body is the only things that stay with us (yup! even people we love/love you, will leave us one day, hopefully not by choice), so better take a good care of our body, when we can.

 

I just want to let him know that he has done super good here!

 

Others...

This year is not a good year for me physically. I was coughing for almost 4 months and just got better about 2 weeks ago. I went for a consultation and being diagnosed with bronchitis and pneumonia (caused by bacteria called Pseudomonas Aeruginosa) and were hospitalized for almost 2 weeks. during the hospitalization period, I had measles and was isolated. After being discharged, I was still on antibiotic (lots of them) and not getting better until I stopped the intake of the drugs given and went for a second opinion in Singapore, just to be told that there might be wrong diagnosis and I am young and healthy. It might be just my body recovering slowly and for sure, the side effect of a month of antibiotic. 

 

Relief is the biggest feeling that I have, because I have been worried sick about the things that I was told that I had in my body (even search for the "mortality rate" for that disease, yes! I was feeling that terrible that it felt like dying). However, to think about all the stress that experience had put me through, I do feel disappointed at the medical care standard in Indonesia. There was a point that I was asked to go for HIV test to eliminate some aspects that might causes my compromised immune system (Is it even really compromised? Who knows!) It came out negative, but that was one stressful afternoon. My mom was tearing and kissing me in relief when she and Dad accompanied me to the hospital to take the result.

 

What an experience. I am glad that it had passed. During that terrible period, I realized something, that the most scary part about dying is when you think how people who love you might grieving so much that it breaks your heart and it is your fault to put them through that path of suffering. That is the scariest part that I felt, not the fear about dying itself, not the fear about not achieving anything, there was even slight relief that you do not have to be worry about anything worldly anymore, that you have done your best. Anyway, that's just sick body and mind talking.

 

As the doctor in Singapore told me "You are young and healthy." Let's just hang on to that for now :)

 

Henki is generally healthy, there was a few times that he was down because he was too tired, one of those times was when he was taking care of me. I just hope that he will commit to saying goodbye to the "da*n" cigarette very very soon! Oh yeah, I hate cigarette, soooooo much. I am super sensitive to it, in a bad way, I can even smell someone was smoking outside of my frontdoor while I sit here, typing.

 

Moving on, we didn't travel much this year. Henki made a trip to Kuala Lumpur for Work, We made a trip to Singapore for medical care (which turn to short getaway that Henki didn't enjoy much, very difficult man to satisfy, poor him :p), and short trip to Bandung last March. That was pretty much it.

 

 

We had never planned for any honeymoon trip and didn't have any. To comfort myself, I told myself that I am living in Bali, where newly wed came to have their honeymoon. How smart! =D Based on this logic, we have our honeymoon every other weekends for about 3 months early this year, adventuring around Bali. Lots of beach hopping, until earthquake stroke last June/July. 

 

Reading is poorly maintained this year. :( Writing, I have been writing lots of posts that are related to learning mandarin this year, but nothing much personal, 15 posts, including this one, in a year time. Cooking, I learn to cook, and I think (I hope Henki agrees with me =D) that it gets better with time. Slow progress and depending so much on the mood, but I think am slightly better, comparing to the beginning of this year. I know how coriander looks like now, how does "leek" and "lemongrass" look like and how to differentiate the two and many other simple things around the kitchen. In between, lots of hours of phone call were made to mom as my lifeline. Oh yeah, I am that stupid before, slightly smarter now. =D That's the most important thing about life, isn't it? To learn each and every day. Doesn't matter how small the progress is, as long as we keep moving, that's what matter.

 

This pretty much of our 2016, more of mine and a bit of Henki's.

 

I am grateful for whatever happened in 2016, not limited to all the good moments, but to those period of time when I wasn't well, to those times that we have our arguments, to those stressful time of work. I believe we are going to start 2017 a better person, if not much better, a little.

 

2017's prediction is not good for me, however, I determined to make it good and prove the prediction wrong. If I lose, as always "That too will Pass".

 

May each and everyone of our family and friends have a healthy, blessed, prosperous and happy New Year 2017.

 

Love,

Us (Linda & Henki)

 

About Contentment and 100%-ness

 

知足常乐

“Contentment brings Happiness”

 

It's been a while. Life has been in between busy and peaceful to less drama. So there is nothing extraordinary. But I am grateful that things have been going great. Just missing some people back in Medan.

So, here is something that I would like to jot down for myself to read one day.

I have been coughing for about a month plus, so far it is the second longest track record of coughing that I have had. The first still the one I had when I was in Beijing, due to polluted air. Now, it is the same case. However, since I can't sleep well at night because of the cough and I am done playing doctor for myself I dragged myself to the doctor (OH yeah... No one else can drag me and force me to do it.)

The result after the examination is rather as expected. Of course, I am going in with a cough and I am coming out with a cough medicine, on top of that, I am being prescribed with antihistamine called: Alergine cetirizine. Just hope that it clears the itchiness in the throat.

That's not the thing that I would like to remind myself (Although, it might come handy one day).

It is about life in general.

I thought I use my time really well lately. I teach and enjoy the current classes that I am handling and just considering another training for hotel, and around the house, surprisingly I still manage to do the house chores really well. For both work outside and inside, I got a good weekend off. On top of the regular cooking for dinner, I successfully copied the recipe of donut and martabak (4 times) that I found on Instagram. Somebody else is liking it and I am proud. =D For my family, they know, when I was in high school, I don't even dare to touch the stove. During college time, a male flat-mate taught me how to make fried rice. Now, I am cooking for another human being, not super good, but things get better with time. You tell me how can I not proud of that? Often times, we just have to impress ourselves, not others! =D

However, among those activities that have kept me quite exhausted by the end of the day and always happy when it comes to adventurous or even super lazy weekend, I got bored sometimes. I always think that I can do more with what I have. I got excited whenever my partner comes home and discuss his work with me at home. Although I can't help much, the discussion gets my brain going. Especially now that he has already moved to S&M department, more things that I can relate to. I am grateful of him for doing that to me. In that process, there is a certain part of me that always think that I can do more than what I am already doing right now. I am better than what I am right now. Maybe that's true and maybe that's not.

However, my interaction with a doctor today made me learn to be more content. Since I choose teaching Mandarin as something I would like to do (I got an offer to go back to Hospitality industry because as the Chinese market is growing here in Bali, the human resource for that market is insufficient. I decline it because I know I am not cut for a big corporation, too much politics at all levels, my greatest weakness), I might as well give my 100% in doing things that I do. In my life, I have always had done the same. In teaching, some people here told me to lower my expectation and just do enough because we don't expect people here to be as good as the Medanese in term of picking up Chinese language. Lucky that I am stubborn. I do lower my expectation, by slowing down the pace that I teach and the amount of material that I give, but never my view towards my students. Do just enough is not something I would like to do. I like to do my best, because I believe that certain people will be benefited from my effort. What is the greatest satisfaction than seeing our effort paid off, right? I see some students get interested in Chinese and looking forward to the class and actually can start forming sentences with whatever they 'catch' for the past 2,5 months.

Today, just before I went to the doctor, I was teaching my playgroup class. Children in playgroup are not expected to recognize characters yet. However, I believe if we can make it fun, why not. Just now, out of nowhere a 4 year old kid who had just started learning Mandarin (and whose mother tongue is no where close to Chinese language) is reading the Chinese characters to me and know what they mean! To be fair , that kid is naughtily smart. However, if from the beginning I have decided to go with the culture here to give just enough, just go by the textbook (which sucks), it might not happen. No one will enjoy the benefit to know that Chinese can be fun, and I will never get to feel proud, excited and happy, like what I am feeling now. I am so proud of her!!! Ecstatic!!!

Going back to the doctor, the doctor asked me if my work require me to be out a lot and asked what I do for a living. When I told her what I did, she gets so excited to know more about Mandarin and she makes me feel that I have got an exciting life teaching Mandarin. While most of us (including me) think that doctor is a profession that is not everyone who wants to be, can be. Because of the requirement of the brain 'capacity', which I believe I don't have. Also, things that they do are so 'technical' (I don't even know the word to describe it), that I think it is something prestigious.

However, seeing her eyes lighted up discussing Mandarin with me (the light that I don't see when I first walked in and when we discussed about my cough. To think about it, maybe Chinese language is more interesting than my cough. haha), it reminds me to be just grateful, content and give my 100% in everything that I do now and every opportunity that knocks.

For all of us who find that we are stuck and want to do just more of many OTHER things, because we are bored, ask ourselves if we have given our 100% in the moment, in things we do, to people around us and to improve what we are doing right now. Then, we might know what to do next.

As for me, I would like to be better in Mandarin, MUCH Better. Test can only grade us to a certain level. My HSK 6 certification means nothing to me now, because I know although that is the highest level for foreigners, but I think I still have so MUCH room to improve, sooooo much more.

Love Life,
Lin ^ ^

The Beauty of Balinese

Those are Huge offerings for Special days

Almost 6 months in Bali, I seem to find something to do that I am satisfied with. I tried school, it didn't work out so well, as I found that no matter how hard I want to try to make things better, I was abided by the system, which unfortunately is good only in theory but not practical.

So, I am now back tutoring again. This time it is tutoring tour guide, Balinese guides. These people do not stop to surprise me in so many (good) ways.

The first is that they speak so many languages, maybe not fluently, but good enough to be able to take the tourists around. That's the confidence and willingness to learn that amaze me. Most of my 'students' speak more than 3 languages, they speak Bahasa Indonesia for sure, Balinese as their dialect and a little English of course, then Russian, Japanese, Korean and now they are learning Mandarin, as Chinese tourists is the growing market here.

They said they get confused sometimes, but they are getting used to it with each passing day. Improvement is what I seek, so I think that's great.

Then, last week, had the chance to chat about the tradition that is still well alive in the society; the Balinese praying ritual. Most Balinese knows 3 calendar systems which I think is more than common and makes it extraordinary (my family is conventional Chinese, we use the Gregorian and Lunar, I know how to read both, but many Chinese, especially the youngsters, feel Lunar calendar is useless, so they do not bother to get to know it more). Again, Balinese knows THREE, the Gregorian, Wuku and Saka.

Because of their "persistency" in keeping what they believe in, thus makes this land special. People who lives here know best that Balinese is very laidback, in a way. Most of them put their belief first than work. Thus, many of them will take a break from work (the chance to earn money and make so called "better" living), and do what they need to do "pray". We who live and work here enjoy the benefit of more holiday :)

After a few months here, I notice that full moon that comes twice every month in either Wuku or Saka Calendar, is the same like the Lunar dating system. For these 2 days each month, Balinese normally will have bigger and more special offerings than the usual daily offering that they made. And much bigger for many other special days.

If you ever stepped into Bali, these offerings are everywhere, in front of the house, on the street, in the intersection, etc. They call this "Canang", if I am not mistaken. It is a small weaved basket with flowers, incense fruits, etc in it.

Other than that, this ibu (my student) was trying to explain to me that in Wuku (that has only 210 days in a year) and Saka calendars combined, there are many other sacred days where they will perform ritual in honoring the good aspects in live or merely give thanks to the nature/things around us. Last week, they just had this Tumpek Landep day, and according to this ibu, other than giving things to "metal" things that has been so great in assisting their lives, making work easy (including cars, bikes, laptops, knives, etc), they also give thanks to trees that deliver fruits, corps, etc, they give thanks to animals too, and many more. Each day has its own name.

From my conversation with Balinese, thus working class level, including Grab drivers (Yeah, I use their service a lot and often satisfied), they acknowledged that they spend a lot of money on offerings, that include the "basket", flowers, joss stick and fruits (the biggest amount was spent on fruits), but they think it is something they are willing to do and must do to get that peace of mind, for themselves, for the family, for the community and for this goddess land.

I am quoting what the ibu said to me in regard to that matter: "This is something that we do from our heart. We want to do it. Foreigners, the non-native, may say things about what we do, and take it for granted. They sometimes asked why this land is so peaceful, but they never think that it is what the people do that contributes in maintaining the peace in the land. We, Balinese, believe what we do gives peace in this land."

That statement really hits me. And I believe and I wish they will continue to do so. I know that part of the belief has contributes in keeping the land beautiful (like keeping the building low, not taller than the coconut trees), but I never think about the peace. To think about it now, I have so much respect for them now.

I am not a super religious person. However, I can see how this belief goes well with the universe and among us as a 'humankind'. Again, Respect!

This is Bali at its finest. The essence of Bali is not in the luxurious beach club nor the night life, but in the beauty of its people. Most of these people respects nature, I don't get whistling when I walk around alone, when I get it, I know it is not from the Balinese, but rather people who come from another islands of Indonesia.

Coming from a city that is not always very safe, I was skeptical at first, when my partner left our belongings (in a plastic bag) or jackets or helmets hanging on our bike, while we shop for groceries (it can take an hour at least). I expect to comeback and found something missing, but so far, this place has never let me down yet. I am so glad about it.

If you ever read or hear a story when bad things happen during a night out in Bali, which happened to me too. Don't blame this place, don't blame the Balinese. Blame yourselves. I blame myself for putting myself in a place where I know no good things can ever happen. If you ask me "is it okay?" Of course it is NOT, for me. Although some people are okay with that. I am in another group. Since I can't do anything and can only regret and upset about it endlessly, which is no use at all, the only thing that I can do in the future is not to go back. So, if things, unwanted things happen to you in Bali night club, don't blame this place. Acknowledge the fact that most things happened are not caused by the Balinese, but the people, often (or maybe always) the nonnative and foreigners (NOT the Balinese). So again, don't blame this place and its local.

The tourists and the non locals (like us) who need to behave and learn a little more respect to this land. This place and its people are undeniably beautiful, peaceful and kind.

From the Beautiful Goddess Island of Indonesia, Bali..