Last night I come to realize something, two things to be exact.
1. When thoughts are processed and voiced out or written down, in words, it just become so clear, either good or bad.
2. I come to realize that when a problem happened, all parties involved are at fault.
So many things happened, I realize when we have a quarrel with friend, partner, parents, or even strangers, mostly we will say that: "This is his fault", "This is ALL her fault", "They cause all this current situation", or "I am at Wrong, all are becaused of me".
Somehow, I think that is so not true. Again, When a problem happens, all parties involved are at wrong.
Take a friendship, man-woman relationship, parents-children relationship or any other relationships that you can think of as an example. When one is doing something obviously wrong, another party does not really want to talk it out, and one day they just explode and quarrel, break up, run away, put the blame on others, or worse non-stop blaming herself/himself - the conclusion is both are wrong. That's what I think.
One is wrong for making the mistake. (No one is Perfect)
Another is wrong for not being open. (Communication is crucial in Human-Human Interaction)
In any cases, we can say that if One is not making any mistakes, then there will no problem at all, so we can just put the blame on him/her and let One appologizes and changes, it solves the problem, rather than arguing whose wrong all these are.
There is no problem with that, a good solution indeed. But, how long will it last? How long a relationship (with friend, partner, parents and others) can last with only one party tries to change?
I am not focusing on the problem, am just thinking if both parties can assess their situation more thoroughly, looking at all possible angles, then not only problem can be solved, but the root of the problem as well. (This reminds me of incident and problem management in IT Infrastructure Library =P)
P.S. I am not sure what others' opinion about this, I am just writing my thoughts down. If some do not agree with this, more than happy to know what their thinking is, so I can reevaluate mine. =D
1. When thoughts are processed and voiced out or written down, in words, it just become so clear, either good or bad.
2. I come to realize that when a problem happened, all parties involved are at fault.
So many things happened, I realize when we have a quarrel with friend, partner, parents, or even strangers, mostly we will say that: "This is his fault", "This is ALL her fault", "They cause all this current situation", or "I am at Wrong, all are becaused of me".
Somehow, I think that is so not true. Again, When a problem happens, all parties involved are at wrong.
Take a friendship, man-woman relationship, parents-children relationship or any other relationships that you can think of as an example. When one is doing something obviously wrong, another party does not really want to talk it out, and one day they just explode and quarrel, break up, run away, put the blame on others, or worse non-stop blaming herself/himself - the conclusion is both are wrong. That's what I think.
One is wrong for making the mistake. (No one is Perfect)
Another is wrong for not being open. (Communication is crucial in Human-Human Interaction)
In any cases, we can say that if One is not making any mistakes, then there will no problem at all, so we can just put the blame on him/her and let One appologizes and changes, it solves the problem, rather than arguing whose wrong all these are.
There is no problem with that, a good solution indeed. But, how long will it last? How long a relationship (with friend, partner, parents and others) can last with only one party tries to change?
I am not focusing on the problem, am just thinking if both parties can assess their situation more thoroughly, looking at all possible angles, then not only problem can be solved, but the root of the problem as well. (This reminds me of incident and problem management in IT Infrastructure Library =P)
P.S. I am not sure what others' opinion about this, I am just writing my thoughts down. If some do not agree with this, more than happy to know what their thinking is, so I can reevaluate mine. =D
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